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Original poster

Support and Wisdom at the Crown Cafe (NC Part 10)

993 replies

Basseting · 19/03/2018 21:06

welcome to all going / maintaining No Contact
for whatever reason. Support, advice, wisdom and fun available here.
(and virtual coffee and cake too).

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
gingergenius · 21/03/2018 18:07

I met him. It didn't go well. We ended up in bed.

gingergenius · 21/03/2018 18:11

Sorry to just jump in with that. Been berating myself all afternoon. Sorry x

anonymous2018 · 21/03/2018 18:12

Oh no ginger. Is it you who’s NC was wanting to go to a blood test? You were doing so well but onwards and upwards! How are you feeling?

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 21/03/2018 18:58

Don't beat yourself up Ginger Flowers

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 21/03/2018 18:59

Oh I'm not sure what is the lesser of two evils Anonymous

gingergenius · 21/03/2018 19:01

A bit down about it. Kicking myself tbh.

gingergenius · 21/03/2018 19:01

Good news though - blood tests show no hormonal imbalances!!!

Rhubarbginn · 21/03/2018 19:08

Why are you fuming with him nk?

Rhubarbginn · 21/03/2018 19:09

ginger these things happen. It was a slip.
belonger why so you think you’re feeling wobbly all of a sudden?

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 21/03/2018 19:15

Rhubarb fuming because he said all these things over the months like I was the one he most regrets breaking up with, that he was thinking of me all the time, that I was one of the first people he thought of when he had a near death experience. It just feels like bullshit now. He only gets so deep then backs off and leaves mid conversation. I feel like I was an ego boost and feel used.

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 21/03/2018 19:18

Ginger I'm so glad the blood tests were okay. Honestly though whats done is done. What do you plan to do now?

P.S. a bit like me and the kisser, hope the sex was good Blush

Rhubarbginn · 21/03/2018 19:20

nkare you sure he’s not struggling with feeling guilty about his gf? And so holds back?
I agree that he can’t have his cake and eat it. It’s like they draw you in for their own ego. I feel the sand about mine and quite silly that I allowed him to do it.

gingergenius · 21/03/2018 19:23

@NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 the s x is always good. That's the problem!!!

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 21/03/2018 19:27

Rhubarb I've no idea what he's thinking. All I know is he is the one then gets deep then pulls away. Says a one liner, then I ask a question then he gets freaked (or ego boost) and leaves mid conversation. I'm so angry.

Don't feel silly. It's so easy to get drawn in by them, it really is Flowers

Ginger at least it was good. That's a positive

Rhubarbginn · 21/03/2018 19:33

nk the leaving mid conversation would seriously annoy me. It is rude and unnecessary. Are you pulling back from him permanently?

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 21/03/2018 19:40

Rhubarb I am. I had it out with him last Sat about going AWOL the night before. He said it had gotten too deep. Then he told me he was going awol again as conversation had gotten deep again. I'm too old for this crap.

Original poster
Basseting · 21/03/2018 20:00

NK THAT LINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Christ on a bike, (sorry if offends anyone) Does she KNOW me????

OP posts:
Rhubarbginn · 21/03/2018 20:00

Too deep in what? How old is he? That behaviour becomes tiresome when’s it happens all the time.
My nc refuses to see me. But wanted to message instead. Although I liked messaging, it made me feel rubbish after a while. Like everything was on his terms. I told him this and he said he would stop messaging me if it upset me. And he has Angry. Which kind of annoyed me too Confused But it’s the right thing. I feel used too. But I don’t think they see it like that at all.

Original poster
Basseting · 21/03/2018 20:01

ginger was about to ask: 'was it at least good?' but I see it was.
Good, but bad as hard to resist another time.
Ah well! Grin

OP posts:
Oldbrook · 21/03/2018 20:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Belonger · 21/03/2018 20:05

ginger would it help to talk through what steps in the cycle led to the, ahem, liaison? Not because we're nosy but it might help you see where you get lured back in. Unless you're happy about it, in which case no problem!

Belonger · 21/03/2018 20:06

Oh yes, the leaving mid conversation!! A complete headfuck and just fundamentally rude. But almost always had me wanting more, not less. NO MORE!

anxiousnow · 21/03/2018 20:06

Evening ladies. Everyone seems quite determined this evening.
NK sorry about your Mum, it must be hard. How is she with other people? I know you said that she shows her children love.

Basseting so glad you sound strong. H doesn't deserve you. Helping him surrounding urgent healthcare is one thing but financially etc no way. He doesn't get to scare you. Does he keep that side of him hidden from the DC's and other people?

Oldbrook. Your counsellor and you seem to be really getting through it. I love your rather less than poetic new mantra!

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 21/03/2018 20:15

Basseting I know. I felt like she was talking to me too. Such an enlightening article

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 21/03/2018 20:23

Rhubarb he was saying how I was lucky I was not being with him etc etc. Looking for attention and then when I react going AWOL. He is 41 so not young.

Sorry you've been through the AWOL stuff Oldbrook and Basseting. I think my NC thinks he's in an episode of Eastenders and leaves at the cliffhanger! Anyway I've come off SM when he's online today and I'll continue to do that.