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Original poster

Support and Wisdom at the Crown Cafe (NC Part 10)

993 replies

Basseting · 19/03/2018 21:06

welcome to all going / maintaining No Contact
for whatever reason. Support, advice, wisdom and fun available here.
(and virtual coffee and cake too).

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Original poster
Basseting · 27/03/2018 16:50

Bloody hell, I'd 'forgotten' (not that its not important but mind not sharp )

OF COURSE he knows you're upset (re crying in street)

That really IS Wankbadger stuff. As Belonger says it is abusive. Calculatedly cruel (or he is such a fucking idiot re socks and doesnt care how much it might throw you off) Either way it is not good for you Seshi

OP posts:
Original poster
Basseting · 27/03/2018 16:56

Belonger it was what you said about 'talking to God' about him (rather than him) that made me realise - of course, I can pray for him!

I am not really doing great. I've had such a horrible week. Huge issues with School. An assesment (linked in with issues with school now delayed a month). ExH having serious health problems. Museum Friend being odd ( had reeled me in about a further meet up, then sent email saying: 'be patient, wife didnt speak to me after last time' - now has sent flowers I shall text a 'thanks for flowers' only.)

OP posts:
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 27/03/2018 17:01

Sent you a bouquet of flowers Basseting?

Of course the others are right Seshi. He left you crying in the street. He isn't even worthy of your friendship. That really is abusive stuff.

Belonger did you reply to the message from your NC?

Belonger · 27/03/2018 17:05

I did nk, but only sent a crumb and am very relaxed about it. I can disengage quickly now.

Belonger · 27/03/2018 17:05

Sorry about school problems basseting, sounds so tough

Original poster
Basseting · 27/03/2018 17:10

NK
yes, a v modest one. card said:'sorry you've had a horrible week. sounds like you need these just now'. Nothing soppy there. but if his wife was so unhappy i wish he'd not met up with me anyway.

OP posts:
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 27/03/2018 17:12

Do you feel anything for him now Belonger? I thought I was disengaging quite well but I wasn't really although I'm definitely less distraught during NC as the first few times.

The delayed assessment sounds very stressful Basseting

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 27/03/2018 17:14

That was very nice to send you the flowers. He clearly has feelings for you. You don't have any for him do you?

Belonger · 27/03/2018 17:16

I have genuine lustful feelings for him, I probably always will. I have an emotional attachment but I think that's a fantasy it's not really about him. If that makes sense.

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 27/03/2018 17:21

Yeah that makes sense. I think I blew my NC into some Romeo and Juliet fantasy story because of our past and him expressing regrets for the past. Now I think it was all in my own head.

Original poster
Basseting · 27/03/2018 17:22

Yes the school situation is very very tricky (keys into all sorts with Exh and £ and health and all sorts).

NK he was always a thoughtful lad. If he were single I would probably want to get to know him better. .But he very much is NOT so my feelings, which are fond/affection are safe enough. I am mindful that being shown kindness can elicit a 'romantic response' from me (that DOM did SO well to start with) so I am being super careful.

OP posts:
Belonger · 27/03/2018 17:28

Do you think his wife knows about the flowers? I think he wants more than friendship. Sorry, I know you could really do with an uncomplicated friendship but I don't think he wants that.

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 27/03/2018 17:29

He definitely wants more than friendship

Original poster
Basseting · 27/03/2018 19:05

but surely then he'd want to meet? (hard to shag 300m apart)?
or talk on phone? it is entirely email. dont see what is in it for him if so?

OP posts:
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 27/03/2018 19:08

Emotional affair which would probably lead to a physical affair.

MyGastIsFlabbered · 27/03/2018 19:13

Ladies I have a confession to make. I've reconciled with my NC.

Original poster
Basseting · 27/03/2018 19:15

No chance of physical affair. He said his wife was really upset we'd had lunch at the museum (afterwards). I had not realised i had meant so much to him back then (we were very young) but I think she had? Imo he should either not have met me or kept quiet about it (there was nothing 'up' but it is a pity she thought there was). so no chance of meeting again. I have also been clear with him that I am dealing with messy end of marriage (in that we are separated but not divorced) and still in lust/emotionally messed up about DOM.

BUT I will take heed of the collective wisdom and leave it for a bit, now I have said my polite thank you to him.

Who wants a cocktail???
I have The Wankbadger on special tonight??? Grin
It is your favourite cocktail but you have to shout 'Down with Wankbadgers' as you drain it. Free on the house, btw.x

OP posts:
Original poster
Basseting · 27/03/2018 19:18

Gast sorry, x post.

Oooh, tell us more... Grin

OP posts:
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 27/03/2018 19:19

Ooh Gast do we have a happy ending. Tell us!

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 27/03/2018 19:21

The Wankbadger cocktail sounds delish Basseting. I'll have one thanks!

Oldbrook · 27/03/2018 19:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 27/03/2018 19:22

Love that Oldbrook. Day 1 of forever

Original poster
Basseting · 27/03/2018 19:25

OldBrook
Coffee and danish/granola/eggs etc coming right up.
(a small snifter of Champagne if you wish to mark Day 1 of forever)
We are all standing right with you.x

OP posts:
Belonger · 27/03/2018 19:44

Sorry you're feeling rotten oldbrook, not surprising after the day you had. Have you got anything nice to look forward to or take your mind off things?

Belonger · 27/03/2018 19:45

No cocktails for me tonight I've got a dicky tummy. Just a peppermint tea I think!

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