Support and Wisdom at the Crown Cafe (NC Part 10)

[Basseting]

welcome to all going / maintaining No Contact
for whatever reason. Support, advice, wisdom and fun available here.
(and virtual coffee and cake too).

Defriend and block

Day 48 is amazing!!

I'm so sorry about your mum nk, that's so hurtful. Can't believe she didn't even support you with pnd. You're such a strong woman, she's a fool to waste the chance to be close to you.

And by the way I’m not amazing at NC - it’s only because I’ve read/watched practically every site and bought every book on ‘get you ex back’ ‘text your way back to your ex’ ‘go NC to get your ex back’ so my NC is easy because it’s part of this magic plan which will make it all ok.

But it hasn’t, I’ve still not heard from him, and now I’m struggling about whether/when/what to text. So my NC is just part of my @£!*#^ up head.

And when he tells me there’s no going back i’ll be here again crying.

So I didn’t mean to sound self-righteous - we just all need to stick to NC!

And we'll give you a big hug if that happens ravens

ravenseven if you are doing it for that reason I'm still impressed as hell, because I have much less self control. I'm quite impulsive and even if I had a plan to get someone back I would never manage to stick to it.

@NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 sorry your mum is undermining you. Your H is using that to twist the knife though is t he?

Me too @Belonger!

Hello all
Sorry to hear your mum is not supporting you nk. That must really stink, she should either be on your side or just stay out of it. Maybe she'll realise that in time.

Sorry to hear about the feeling in oldbrook. He really should just not have messaged you. Time for you to do that final grieve and move on.

seshi . You sound a little stronger than yesterday. Each day will get a little easier.

ravens you are doing so well. Do you really still want him back or are you now starting to just recover and finding that the nc is helping and probably final? Sorry if that sounds blunt.

I hope everyone else has a nice day too.

okdbrook I think he’s angry with you and is punishing you. And like us is trying to take back control to make himself feel better. Even if he thought it it’s a pretty rubbish thing for him to say you still have feelings for him. Ego much? Trying to put you back in your box.
I would defriend and block. Will stop you getting drawn in again. Which I think is much harder than NC. Let this be a very short setback.
Day 12 for me. Checking in and being accountable. Thanks for all being so amazing.

Do you want to really move on. Try again with your husband?
Let there be no more drama with your nc. The experience is miserable. It’s limerance.
I’ve accepted that I did/do love my nc in some way. So what! It brings no happiness or good feeling. I’m trying to walk away. So hard. But we know getting drawn in makes us feel rubbish.

What keeps me strong 're no contact is the fear of rejection again. He's done it now and I'm not going back for more....

Being rejected or ignored is very painful. Focus on that tic

Thanks Rhubarb.. I am. I can't risk feeling how I did a few days ago as I have to function and go to work. I deserve better but how I was swept away. I really did feel I was falling in love. I still think I could with him and feel an opportunity has been lost.i can't be messed around though..

Well done. I’m full of admiration. You did it.
Allow yourself to feel sad for today. But then tomorrow is a new start

Brilliant oldbrook well done. You've chosen you! Over a fantasy.

I sometimes ask myself what I'm avoiding feeling, what is it that feels so rubbish that I would rather return to a painful cycle of rejection etc. Its an addiction like any other, and it takes time to get it out of your system. And it's unrealistic to think you can still have just a bit.

Oh Oldbrook I feel for you.

You've done the right thing blocking. I only wish I were strong enough.

Belonger you're bang on. It is an addiction and needs treating as such, whether that be via cold turkey or gradual withdrawal.

Tictactic you said you were on a NC thread a couple of years ago. Just out of interest how did you get over that, and how long did it take? Was it only through meeting someone else, or did you find your own strength from within before that? Hope you don't mind me asking.

Morning Warrior Queens!

OldBrook so sorry he has put you through this. He is an arse, imo. To block him takes great strength and bravery. It is like an addiction and you have chosen to stop it. Here and now. I am full of admiration for you

Lass I agree with Belonger it is an attempt to avoid the more painful underlying stuff that leads to our difficulty drawing (maintaining) lines in the sand. It's completly logical when you think about it. But not good for us and each time we fall we need to find the strength to get up again.But we do. And we help each other do it.