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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Support and Wisdom at the Crown Cafe (NC Part 10)

993 replies

Basseting · 19/03/2018 21:06

welcome to all going / maintaining No Contact
for whatever reason. Support, advice, wisdom and fun available here.
(and virtual coffee and cake too).

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Tictactic · 27/03/2018 07:00

Morning all. Day 3 NC. Awake in the night a lot and listening to Matthew hussey breakup videos on YouTube. Be been in this place a few times now. Am susceptible to anxiety/depression so have to be careful. I'm going to work but certainly not functioning very well. Can't think clearly and feel confused. I've no idea how you can go from such a high of thinking you're falling in love (the feelings were mutual) to being dumped (and by text).. I will never date a separated man again. Need to keep strong. I am no way contacting him.

gingergenius · 27/03/2018 07:00

Just caught up @Oldbrook. I'm so angry for you. He's a manipulative tool. At least that's what it looks like from the outside. Why mess with your head like that? These fucking men do my bloody head in! Xxx

seshi · 27/03/2018 07:17

@tic morning and welcome... Sounds like we have had a similar night... Matthew Hussey God bless him! I am so sorry that you are feeling so bad... I hope you will find comfort here

@ginger morning lovely x x your kindness to me is such a help... Just been outside my dressing gown for my morning fag... Crying like a nutter!!! 😅

Belonger · 27/03/2018 07:21

Sorry that you're reeling oldbrook. We can't know whether he was deliberately being manipulative, personally I doubt it, but what matters is that whenever you have contact with him you get hurt. You can't be friends with him, it's never going to work.

Take some time to lick your wounds and recover from this, but try not to over think it if you can.

Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 27/03/2018 07:33

Maybe manipulative oldbrook or maybe just being a man and not thinking? Maybe he was just covering himself by messaging , who knows ..regardless , time to move on I would say . Sorry though , it's just shit .

Oldbrook · 27/03/2018 07:39

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tictactic · 27/03/2018 07:46

Seshi. Thank you. It's such a rollercoaster.. I have to say I'm feeling better than Sunday anyway.
Oldbrook I don't know your back story as just joined the thread but I wouldn't reply to that message. He's really messing with your mind. Go NC and break free

Ravenscloak · 27/03/2018 07:50

I’m clearly in a straight talking mood this morning (I’m sorry) but for a thread on NC there’s an awful lot of messaging that goes on! Grin
Everyone - just put your phones down

Belonger · 27/03/2018 07:52

It's good to hear your anger oldbrook!

Belonger · 27/03/2018 07:53

You're so right ravens! You've been brilliant at proper NC. I'm proud to say I deleted a message yesterday and will not reply.

Ravenscloak · 27/03/2018 07:54

Sorry - I know you are all actually doing great - it’s just the NCs who can’t leave it alone.

Oldbrook · 27/03/2018 08:00

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NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 27/03/2018 08:03

Ugh Oldbrook he's an absolute ass. Once again he's reeled you in and deemed that you can 'hang out in group's. Huge ego or what. I think you're well rid

Oldbrook · 27/03/2018 08:05

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NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 27/03/2018 08:07

Sleep on it Oldbrook. I don't think I'd even assign anymore importance to him by sending a final note. Think I'd just block and unfriend.

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 27/03/2018 08:12

Day 9 for me today. Feeling strong about not contacting but I know I'd respond if he contacted me with his crumbs. Don't think he will.

Was chatting to my H last night and he said that my mother said she was on his side (regarding separation) even though I've told her he's been aggressive in the past. Also got a message from her yesterday saying somewhere along the way I've lost the ability to communicate and respect people. It's her that has no respect. I'm not even allowed to disagree with her or I'm being disrespectful. She has hurt me beyond belief by siding with my H. She turned against me 6yrs ago when I had PND so I guess I should have expected it.

Oldbrook · 27/03/2018 08:14

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 27/03/2018 08:15

Seshi and Ginger how are you two?

Ravens well done you are amazing at NC.

Sorry you've had a bad night Tic

Welcome Mermaid

seshi · 27/03/2018 08:17

@oldbrook channel that anger!!

@nk I am so sorry that you are not getting the support you need from your mum... Mine took my ex h side although it has got better. Day 9 is great... You are doing so well on that front.... The rest of us need to put our phones down like @ravens says... Your crown is definitely shining Ravens.... I am not even sure where mine is! Sad

Belonger · 27/03/2018 08:18

They might start it but it's our choice to ignore it and end it! And I'm talking about myself here, not lecturing anyone.

Don't message him oldbook, there's nothing to gain. He wasn't really wrong when he said you still have feelings for him. Your reaction when you saw a new friend on fb showed that you're not over him really. Your pride is wounded but another message won't fix that!

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 27/03/2018 08:21

Sorry to hear your Mum took your H's side too Seshi. It's very hurtful isn't it.

Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 27/03/2018 08:22

Ravens you are right about the amount of messaging ! Hahahahaha..

it goes in waves here - someone is weak while others are strong then vice versa ....Grin Day 48 for me .. I know I could message him today and he would see me as a "friend"in an instant .....but I can't go there !!

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 27/03/2018 08:28

Day 48 Bloody. How are you feeling?

Oldbrook · 27/03/2018 08:29

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 27/03/2018 08:46

Definitely befriend and block. There's nothing left to discuss/say