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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Support and Wisdom at the Crown Cafe (NC Part 10)

993 replies

Basseting · 19/03/2018 21:06

welcome to all going / maintaining No Contact
for whatever reason. Support, advice, wisdom and fun available here.
(and virtual coffee and cake too).

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Belonger · 26/03/2018 19:14

Oh nk you poor thing, I really feel for you. My mum is also a woman of 'opinions' - important to put up a psychological shield against them - they're about her and her stuff/experience, not us.

Could you take yourself away for a day spa or something while H is away?

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 26/03/2018 20:42

I think I'll go shopping Belonger. Haven't been for ages and desperately need new clothes

Tictactic · 26/03/2018 21:01

Day 2 done and really struggled at work. Feeling quite raw. Just can't get my thoughts straight. I'm hoping this is just early stages effects and doesn't trigger depression

anxiousnow · 26/03/2018 21:30

Happy birthday same

basseting I adore you post. So true and sums this up perfectly.
belonger you are hot 😍
NK raaarrr at your Mother. Sounds like jealousy to me. You are not settling and putting up with a miserable future with H. Sorry she is being like that. Shopping therapy sounds perfect. I think your NC is wairing for you to contact him with light banter and none of the deep stuff and will be pleased to hear from you. Glad you are going to tell him but I do think he will panic initially when he hears.
seshi crying is good. Glad you have real life support. Your warrior will return but as Basseting said so perfectly we are here.
tict day 2 really is so early and in the real breakdown time period. Well done for going to work and not contacting NC. Baby steps.

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 26/03/2018 21:39

Good evening Anxious. My NC will be waiting there is no chance I'm contacting him! How are you?

Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 26/03/2018 22:47

And the more days that pass the more my middle finger is stuck up at him Yes , rhubarb I am very stubborn too ..

Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 26/03/2018 22:51

NK better first class loneliness or aloneness (?) than secondhand company !!

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 26/03/2018 22:57

Oh yes I like that Bloody!

anxiousnow · 26/03/2018 23:21

Yes that's another great one bloody.

Rhubarb well done at keeping on. Some of you really are so good at not giving in. I love it.
I'm good thank you NK. A much slower day today, at home with my DC's, still busy with DC type stuff but no external people stressing me out. The sun has been out. All good. So what is on the shopping list?

anxiousnow · 26/03/2018 23:22

I know you won't give in either NK. 👑

gingergenius · 26/03/2018 23:26

Beautifully put bloody

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 26/03/2018 23:33

Oh Anxious I need everything! I'm so low on any type of clothes so need a full shop!

Sounds like you had a nice day. The sun makes all the difference.

Yeah I won't give in. No doubt he'll throw me some crumbs at some stage. Or maybe me calling him a diva has completely turned him off me. Ha ha ha

gingergenius · 26/03/2018 23:38

@seshi

Hugs. You've done so well even though you thought you would break, you didn't. Xxx

gingergenius · 26/03/2018 23:40

@NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 I'd rather be alone than lonely with a person who makes me feel like shit.

Every fucking time.

Hi @sameoldsame X

gingergenius · 26/03/2018 23:43

@Basseting your posts fill me with such a level of comfort. You exude warmth and kindness and your NC is a pure fool for not realising that. X

mermaidsandunicorns · 27/03/2018 02:06

Hello please can I join x I have to get out of my current relationship I'm not happy for so many reasons but I'm going to struggle so need a bit of help. I'm exhausted and NC will be he hardest but kindest thing to do

Oldbrook · 27/03/2018 04:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Belonger · 27/03/2018 05:01

Hi oldbook, sorry his contact has caught you off guard. How do you feel about it all? It sounds like he is finally drawing some useful boundaries and realising that he can't keep stringing you along, which sounds to me like a good thing.

user1493423934 · 27/03/2018 05:09

Sorry you had a bad day Oldbrook. I think he is beginning to realise he can't keep stringing you along as Belonger said. Hope tomorrow is better for you. xx

Belonger · 27/03/2018 05:24

Hi mermaids, welcome! You can post here any time you're wanting to contact him, it can really help

Oldbrook · 27/03/2018 05:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ravenscloak · 27/03/2018 06:07

Oh oldbrook . Annoying how easily they reel you in isn’t it. Be strong. Do you feel you can now draw a line under it?

Ravenscloak · 27/03/2018 06:15

Day 33 NC here we go. The numbers don’t matter anymore.
If I’m supposed to be getting over him and being a new improved me I’m not sure. I have moments of being ok, and others of being sad. My NC is all in the hope of getting him back right now, not to get over him Sad

Oldbrook · 27/03/2018 06:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seshi · 27/03/2018 06:36

@oldbrook even though he is starting to respect your boundaries I still think that his timing was designed to make you off guard at the event. I really hope that after some space after this it will make you feel liberated....has he come back yet regarding your last message?

@ravens have you decided when you are going to contact him? My NC period was always more about getting him back than healing if I am honest.... I still think about getting him back even in my current state of being emotionally abused by him!!
@ginger and everyone thank you for constantly holding my hand... I did actually sleep last night. Just woke up and have the sickness but I expected it... I wish we all had a magic wand and could wish all our sadness away