Evening everyone
Seshi so sorry you went through what you did. How upsetting for you. As others have said though I guess it makes this the start of the second and real NC - I know you can do this and ride it out. 
NK sorry you're NC with your NC I think? Or maybe it is for the best. It really is difficult given that he doesn't know your true situation. At the moment he doesn't need to piss or get off the pot because as far as he is aware you're in the same situation as him - taken. But I can see why you don't want to tell him yet, it would add new nuances to the situation that you may not be ready to deal with.
Bassetting sorry you've had a crap weekend, hope you're ok.
Itsa great that it's going well with old guy. Gives me hope!
oldbrook have you decided what to do about the invitation with mutual friends?
Ravens I don't think you should contact him before his birthday. If you can possibly hold out, do.
anxious agree, we shouldn't beat ourselves up about the fact that it's taking us a while to get over NCs. It shows we can 'feel'.
I'm feeling a bit better again. Wierdly this going NC with the whole world because of awful temporary crowns has maybe benefitted me. I know it's counter intuitive given that conventional advice is to get out there, do new things etc but actually giving myself this restriction that I can only see family and very close friends seems to have been good for me. Maybe it's because going out on a weekend whether it be to a pub with mates or dating is stressful - pub in case NC is there with gf, and dating just because! But family and close friends love me unconditionally and that's what I need right now, the comforting security of love. It goes back to Belongers quote about not having anyone in your life who makes you feel difficult to love. Because I'm NC with everyone bar close people I feel more secure.
I'm not doing any tindering and not having any contact with any irons at all (farmer / old flame) and again that feels good, hopefully that means I'm becoming stronger from within, without that need for superficial ego boosts. I'm also not feeling the urgency to rush to show NC that I've moved on. That will happen when it happens.
I still think about him and pine a bit and even shed the occasional tear, but I'm WAY better than I was a week or two weeks ago. So yay!