Support and Wisdom at the Crown Cafe (NC Part 10)

[Basseting]

welcome to all going / maintaining No Contact
for whatever reason. Support, advice, wisdom and fun available here.
(and virtual coffee and cake too).

Can you message your friend and ask who is going in a very casual way? If he doesn't come it means he is respecting your boundaries which is very good.

It would be very difficult to arrange a meeting with him. We live 2hrs away from each other and our paths only cross very rarely and when they do there are lots of mutual friends around. I think we've both walked away from each other anyway. I very much doubt he'll contact me anytime soon after I called him a high maintenance diva.

oldbrook yes it is the continuous not knowing or how you will respond if/when it happens. Is it possible to have a quiet word with friends ?

continual

Just checking in on people. My NC went totally tits up

Waving not drowning (only just, ExH around)
Yy to the Recovery pic and the Head Exploding Rainbow pic
Will try to read thread later.
Sending much love to you all. B.x

Hey all. I was on briefly before under a different name the idiot that fell for a friend and faceplanted her dignity. I thought I was over him but I'm clearly not. Haven't been maintaining NC but low and waiting for him to message me and we haven't seen each other face to face as both really busy atm. He's mentioned the odd time about having doubts about his current relationship and now I'm back to obsessing and really struggling to not pick up the phone and send a stream of messages that I know I'll regret. Can I jump back on pretty please? We are meant to meet up this week but I can be ok with that, its my phone I'm a demon with. I'm even avoiding wine tonight

Evening all. Hope everyone is okay tonight

Evening all. Welcome back Marley.

Teens you are so good at looking at individuals situations and giving tailored advice. NK I agree he could have been putting on a front 're. Tinder. Also agree about him not knowing you are separating so has to pull back. The slight problem for me is that whether he knows you are now separated or not, he should still end it with his gf.

Oldbrook can you make a blanket excuse to your social circle that you can't make any events for the next 4 weeks as snowed under with your new job?

Ravens well done on day 30. Hope your daughter has a lovely birthday.

Also NK with everything that is going on I want you to be in a strong enough place to handle whatever his reaction.is when you do tell him. I do think there is more for you two in the future but you are the only one being brave out of the two of you at the moment.

Oh that's great advice to Oldbrook Anxious.

Anxious I don't think he likes me anymore after I called him high maintenance. I'm fuming with him too after leaving a conversation mid sentence

I completely agree with you Anxious I'm not in a place to take a rejection from him so happy to take control and walk away.

How are you?

So update on books. Read all 50 pages of first one. 3 parts: 1 steps to get man back; 2 general self-esteem building stuff; 3 meeting him. By a dating coach so he KNOWS. Basically go NC, send a letter tying up loose ends (will miss you but respect your decision goodbye), then make changes in self and post loads of happy things on social media, when he messages, play it cool. No earth shattering new plan then.

My problem is I barely use SM and we’re not friends on Facebook. Back to square one, plus after 30 days NC I’m too late to send goodbye letter (should have been after a week).

Other book is bonkers new age love spell bollocks (but I will read it).

I’m happy to be the self/help book reviewer!

Love spell is bollocks

New age is far from it though.

New age is about building up a dream, then letting it go .the dream will come back to you. It does work..

Thanks Oldbrook I'll take my own advice and protect myself!

Ravens thanks for the review. I'm not friends with mine on FB so neither of us know what the other is doing. No way would I send him a letter. I did that 17yrs ago and took him a year to acknowledge it! I might write a letter tomorrow and put it in the fire.

Oh me too. New age sounds great

OLDBROOK
Lots of YouTube on law of attraction. Abraham hicks, Louise Hay..

I will read it and then give a more informed review. I will be open-minded. (I am telling myself I’m amazing in mirror and that NC is back and we’re happy) think that’s supposed to work? I will read and report!

Law of attraction is like 'The Secret' isn't it? Only came to mind as the movie popped up on my Prime movies.

Hi everyone.... Sorry I have been quiet... It's all gone spectacular tits up and I have been so shocked and devastated by what's happened that I have almost been unable to process it. Some of you lovely ladies who I am in touch with on Facebook know what has happened and have been brilliant but I have I am lying in bed crying now so thought I would share.

So after a week or so of messages and speaking to him I went to Halifax to the gig. It was amazing at first. As soon as we saw each other we were exactly like we used to be... Kissing and telling each other how much we missed each other. I was over the moon then in a matter of hours it all went wrong

We went to the gig. We were both quite drunk and he accused me of flirting with a guy which was bonkers. We ended up leaving the gig early and he just walked off and left me in the street. I went back to the hotel and he came back about half an hour later. We made up... Then this morning he was fine.. But just said what a shit night it had been. I blamed the drink and said let's not let it ruin things... We then had sex.. Which was great as usual and then I asked him if he was going to come back with me. He said no do I ask him if he wanted us to get back together... He said yes... Then said he didn't want to talk about it... Then said he has wanted to but didn't want to anymore. Then he just turned ice cold on me. We checked out and I was really upset and shocked and kept saying that I didn't want it to end like this.. Abd he just walked away saying that he didn't want me anymore... I asked him what he did want abd he said that he didn't know but it wasn't me. Then we'll argued a bit more and he practically ran away and left me crying in the street x I was stunned... Somehow managed to get on the train and face the three hour journey home. I was crying, texting him calling him but nothing. I finally got home and sent him an incredibly heart felt message saying that I loved him so much but he had broken me and that I hoped we could still be friends eventually. I got a reply with just a kiss on. Pathetic I know I am but I am literally floored now... I am even worse than before..

I have tried to sleep but just woken up feeling sick to the stomach.