A thread to moan on until I’m rid of exP

[UnimaginativeUsername]

(Ex)P and I are separating but we have to live together until we sell this house (due to finances). So I thought I’d start a thread to help me get through the next few months.

He most definitely does @RandomMess. He can practice on Thursday as he’ll have DS2 and I’m not leaving any food made to save him from working it out for himself.

It's not rocket science?! It's the inability to think for himself and still expecting you to pick up the slack.

However much he’d like me to believe it’s inability, it’s not. He’s perfectly capable of writing books and research grants, organising modules and exam boards and all those sort of things at work. He is simply unwilling to take any responsibility for thinking for himself. Well, once I’ve moved he will absolutely just have to get on with it.

However, I was good at convincing myself it was my fault and I deserved it. It's why I married him, figured I'd made my bed and now had to lie in it. Thank God I've eventually come to my senses!

Other than the marrying him but, I could say exactly the same thing about my relationship with ex. Both the blaming myself and the feeling that I just have to accept the consequences of my crappy choices. If only I’d been sensible enough to see that I could have my own bed in a completely different house instead!

Note: he needs to get on with it now too, but there will be no possibility of me picking up the slack in any way (however minor) when he’s living on his own.

My mum is convinced that he won’t be able to cope on his own. She’s not sympathetic about it or anything though. I suspect he’ll look to find another cook and housekeeper ASAP.

@UnimaginativeUsername Yes. He is. Can't decide if he's so arrogant he doesn't care what I think or feel - or if he's so insecure he can't contemplate us breaking up.

He had DCs today and all was fine - so i have that feeling of 'maybe it's not that bad'. But it's only yesterday morning that the oldest was in tears because of him.

It might be both, tbh. Selfish, arrogant and insecure. A winning combo!

@UnimaginativeUsername

I agree with what @RandomMess has said ' he clearly needs more practice ' ....... what an adventure (not sure if that's the right word to use ) to find a GF lunch for DS2 .

As you said 'm&s would of been more than ok' My mind boggles of what he was thinking about

I admire you all for keeping as calm as you can while having to live with twats!

Shitwithsugar - so he doesn't want to pay the costs but sending back the petition and disagreeing, no doubt increases the legal costs.

I was wondering how you were getting on @shitwithsugaron. It’s great that your DD likes the new house.

It sounds like you ex is realising he has ever diminishing power over you, so he’s being ever more petty in an attempt to delude himself that he is calling the shots. It sounds really unpleasant. I hope the sale goes through quickly for you.

Today I took DS2 to the seaside for GF fish and chips for lunch. He loved it. He was going to go surfing, but it was foggy and not very warm, so we’ve come home and are watching the captain underpants movie. It’s about as good as I thought it would be - but DS2 likes it.

How is DS2 feeling now? My niece had the same diagnosis as your DS and putting my her in a GF diet made such a difference almost immediately

DS2 seems to be feeling much better. His eyes and skin look much brighter, and his eczema seems to be much improved. His stomach never looks bloated any more either (he’s got a tiny waist and a bit of a six pack, but I noticed it often looked a bit bloated when he was getting ready for bed; that’s not been the case all week). I keep wondering if it can have had such a difference in a week - but he does appear to be much better. He hasn’t had any headaches or joint pains either.

So far, so good.

I’m watching DS2 at swim training now. He has so much more energy and stamina than he had before. It’s really quite a noticeable difference.

Mu niece was like that, she always had dark circles around her eyes and really just ale skin. In only a few days she was pink and bright eyes, made such a difference

Yes. Absolutely. DS2 looked like he was dead in the school photos this year. He is looking like a human now. His skin is a completely different colour!

He’s got so much energy today that his coach is making him go twice in every relay tonight because his team had one less swimmer.

@shitwithsugaron Your DD won’t know any different. It’ll just be the way her family is. DS2 will remember but will almost certainly realise that this way is better. He’s already excited about being able to eat in the living room if he wants to!

@UnimaginativeUsername

It sounds as though you've had a good couple of days, hope it all continues

I have.

Ex took DS2 to a novelty climbing centre today and then to Nando’s for lunch. DS2 suggested Nando’s because I had told him they are good for GF. It appears that the way to tackle things is to teach DS2 to manage his diet (he’s 8) and he can keep his father right.

Once again the child adulting better than the father. XP is a thick bastard. Imagine not being able to find gf there? Even the civic centre does gf in the cafe. He is making zero effort and further evidence that he cannot be trusted

Yes. He is an idiot.

I went in a day trip with DS2 to the Farne Islands today. It was great fun. He loved being dive bombed by terns, and especially that one shat on me. He was disappointed he didn’t get shat on.

UnimaginativeUsername wow your ex is an arse. Glad you had a fun day with DS2 and that the GF diet is having such an impact!

shitwithsugaron sorry your ex is such a tool. I hope you get your money back quickly. Good luck with the social event, it will be ok.

My house is on the market! I'm freaking out going for a second viewing of the house I love (It's too late haha) and am hoping to make an offer on it. Weirdly, I feel like I have to run it by the ex which I know is completely daft!

That is so frustrating about the CMS payment @shitwithsugaron. He has to pay it, so he should just reimburse you. The bastard.

I hope the family event goes well. Don’t worry at all about being a single mum at 28. Honestly. I should have had the sense to stay a single mum at 28! Anyone who thinks less of you for it is an idiot.

@iwantanewusername I really hope you get the house. I felt really weird deciding to buy a house without discussing it with ex. But that’s just because I’ve had to put his opinions first for so long. It’s good to make my own decisions now.

DS2 and I cooked a GF cake that didn’t taste like shit today. So that’s a win too. It tasted like ‘the best brownie ever’ according to DS2. it wasn’t supposed to be a brownie, but as long as it tastes good!

Just read the whole thread, You should be so so proud of yourself for the way your handling this.