A thread to moan on until I’m rid of exP

[UnimaginativeUsername]

(Ex)P and I are separating but we have to live together until we sell this house (due to finances). So I thought I’d start a thread to help me get through the next few months.

Still checking in on the thread.

I'm liking how you're all looking forward to your future's without your Ex's.

I'm stuck with mine for the foreseeable future as he won't move out. He won't put house up for sale because he knows he would have to give me a higher percentage of the sale as our 2 children would live with me.

Its rather annoying seeing his great
big pile of dirty dishes that have accumulated over the last few days but I'm refusing to deal with them and starting to think about putting my clean ones in a place where he can't get them or is this being a bit silly

That sounds so frustrating @Turnedovernewleaf.

Could you file for divorce and have the house sale become a requirement of that? Or (like me) did you just not marry the wanker in the first place?

@UnimaginativeUsername

Yes, it is rather frustrating, but not showing him any of that. He is such a different person to what he was.

We're not married so makes things less clear cut I'm afraid

Yeah. I guess it does mean that he has to be motivated to move.

It is so hard to hide how frustrating you find them. Well done.

@ UnimaginativeUsername

Thank you.

Sounds as though your strong and motivated, keep going. Cheering you on all the way !!

Thanks .

In today’s ‘what has ex done that’s deeply irritating’ segment we have: he bought a remastered copy of call of duty 4 and has been playing it with DS2. DS2 is 8. I thought they were going to play fortnight. He said ‘I turned the blood off’.

And now I’m the ‘bad guy’ who has vetoed it and said they should stick up splatoon and a bit of fortnight.

When I started playing GTA Online (I'm 20) I got shown the ropes by a ten year old.

Also ex decided months ago that I couldn’t be trusted to order DS2’s repeat prescriptions so he was going to do it. DS2 has been having to use his blue inhaler this week (which is unusual for him). He needed it at swimming yesterday and tonight he needed it after walking up the stairs. So I checked his brown inhaler and it’s totally empty.

This is classic ex. He leaves everything to me and then complains that I don’t do something right/well enough. So he announces that he will do it instead. But they he just doesn’t. He’s done the same with DS2’s homework too.

And he monopolies all the time so it’s hard to get any time to actually do things like homework, piano practice, reading. You know, all the dull stuff.

So tomorrow morning I’m going to have to make sure DS2 takes his blue inhaler before school and then phone the doctor and arrange an urgent repeat prescription.

When I started playing GTA Online (I'm 20) I got shown the ropes by a ten year old.

That must have been weird.

DS1 will be 18 in under 3 weeks and he’s got no interested in GTA. He really doesn’t like violent things. He’s still salty about having been to see Deadpool, which he hated. He even complained about the language!

While discussing CoD tonight, DS1’s contribution was that splatoon was way better than CoD anyway.

I’ve been thinking about this, and I’m particularly annoyed about the 18 rated video game because ex regularly has a go at me for letting DS2 watch 12 rated films. He plays totally unsuitable video games with him (halo, final fantasy XV) but I suggest that DS2 might watch ghostbusters with me and I’m dreadful and irresponsible.

I don't actually do any shooting in GTA. I just like flying planes around

Ghostbusters is suitable from 5+ surely

And yes, the 10 year old was very much an expert with divorced parents who you could tell tried to buy his affection

The more I read about your ex, the more I can see why you are dying to move to your own place.

Such a hypocritical twat!

Ghost doesn't he seem so punchable?

Ain’t Mandy the lucky one - not!

OP I know you are playing the long game, by keeping quiet and calm, showing a good example to your DS's and not poking the hornet's nest, but aren't you at least tempted to shake itching powder in his undies or cling film over his toilet seat!

He would be top of my punching list!

aren't you at least tempted to shake itching powder in his undies or cling film over his toilet seat!

Mostly I just try to minimise any time spent with him. That’s the best way to minimise any desire to murder him.

This morning, as DS2 and I were about to leave, ex rushed downstairs in his pants. Ostensibly, this was to tell me that he would be working at home this morning but in reality it was so he could try to shift the blame for him having a tight deadline for something on to the admin people at his work.

Apparently he is going to send the thing he has to finish to them this morning with block capitals telling them to process it straight away. (Because he seems to believe that this admin team have ‘6 hour lunch breaks’). My approach in the same situation would be to phone the team first thing and ask them if they could process it today while really apologising for the rush. But, if anyone works in university admin, ex is one of those academics.

Admin staff clearly fall into the category of people ex doesn’t think matter so they don’t get his pretend nice guy face. I feel for them, as I know exactly what that’s like!

Friday lunchtime is such a bad time to drop urgent stuff onto people's laps. I bet he's not Mr Popular with them!

Yes. I can totally imagine what they’ll have to say about him. All of it will be richly deserved.

Don't worry they'll only give him the bare minimum support they have to! The academics that co-operate, are helpful well you willingly go and beyond for them

Haha. Yes. I can imagine he’ll get the absolute bare minimum.

I mean, block capitals? That is never the way to get someone to help you.

Unimaginative - Sorry to just drop in but I've been reading the whole thread - You ladies are GREAT by the way....

why did he think you would care.... in the slightest.... CAPS or not?!?!?

All drop-ins are very welcome on this thread.

I’ve no idea why he thought I’d care. I think he’s used to me caring about, taking an interest in and even helping him with his work. So he’s struggling to understand that I no longer have any obligation or desire to give any thought to his work.

Not that he’s ever taken any interest in mine. For example, I spent weeks helping him to turn his thesis into recognisable English; he’s never even glanced over my thesis. And he didn’t notice that I was off work for 5.5 months too. I wasn’t even trying to hide it particularly.

Hi everyone. I've read the whole thread and bloody loved it. you lot are heroes. I'm rooting for you all!

I was in this situation two years ago - almost two years ago I separated from ex and then had to live with him until just before Christmas when he got his new house.

It is so funny to read all the same things about your guys as my ex. Thinking they know best about things they know nothing about, which are nothing to do with them anyway; pomposity; baseless judgmentalism on parenting; general lack of self awareness; etc etc etc. OMG and the WEIRDNESS about food.

the day I remember really clearly was coming back from a business trip, overnight flight, horribly exhausted and jetlagged and really looking forward to seeing the dcs, whom I'd been away from for 4 days. I collected them from school and then ex hung around in the sitting room with us all evening, eating loudly off a plate on his knee. It always annoyed me that he has this weird noisy picky way of eating bits primly in the sitting room and thinking he had eaten less than if he had laid the table and eaten with a knife and fork; and it made me feel eaten AT because there was always someone CHOMPING at you in the sitting room. I asked him to take his food somewhere else - I coudln't leave the room as I hadn't seen my girls for 4 days and I was buggered if I was going to be forced to hang out with my annoying ex after a gruelling business trip.

He had a massive tantrum about how horrible I was and flounced off. It was so weird to me that he WANTED to hang out with me, after all, I was his ex too. But he was really offended that I wanted to be without him.

Anyway you are all doing brilliantly. Here's what happened in my story: I raised the money to buy him out of the house, and he used it for a deposit on his own place, which is walking distance and the kids live a little more than half time with me. He moved out just before Christmas 16. It has been brilliant ever since.

I control my own space, my own money, my own time. Everything is where I left it and no one is hiding my screw drivers or covering every door handle in the kitchen with pesto. Ex has more respect for me now and doesn't treat me with that weird patronising dismissive contempt that he had before. If he did I wouldn't care as I don't have to see him.

Your lives are all in the process of becoming BRILLIANT

I'm going to keep following.