A thread to moan on until I’m rid of exP

[UnimaginativeUsername]

(Ex)P and I are separating but we have to live together until we sell this house (due to finances). So I thought I’d start a thread to help me get through the next few months.

Exactly.

When we first met I didn’t really eat much in the way of sweets or chocolate. He has a very sweet tooth so he’d always insist that I share cake with him.

My bum would prefer that I went back to my original way of eating though!

he does something annoying or weird and then acts like everyone else is being horrible for being irritated with him.

He sounds v similar to my ex in that - the one who brought me breakfast in bed, when I don't like eating in bed and hate being woken up. Who brought me food I didn't like. Which he made before he made the tea, so the peanut butter on teacake (boak!) was cold by the time he brought them up and woke me up with them.
Then when after several years I told him to stop because I didn't want it, he got all faux offended that he was just trying to do a nice thing.

After we split, in one of his stupid emails, he even said "you seem to have forgotten I made you cups of tea" - er.........yes, but that's just a small thing people do for people, not an indicator of your undying love and affection.

Oh my god they’re just pathetic aren’t they?! My ex was a cheating shit bag. But as a result it made him super paranoid about me cheating cos I was much younger and pretty at the time. He used to pace up and down outside the bathroom door when I was on the loo to make sure I wasn’t on the phone to someone else cos that was clearly what he was doing. My god the liberation when I finally got away from him and into my own place was the best feeling in the world. So good that’s why I think I’ve stayed single ever since so I can prolong the joy of doing what I want, when I want!

Projection of own weird insecurities. Misery loves company. Thank god you won’t have that company anymore. Some poor other soul has to deal with it

My ex accused me a few times of cheating - on very spurious 'grounds', such as 'wearing black knickers', 'avoiding intimacy' or 'mentioning a night out I had forgotten to tell him about when he had been away on business' (I so rarely go out, but it was my niece's birthday and my sister asked me at the last minute, having forgotten I was staying in London for work). Yawn.

Now know it was 99% sure he was cheating and that would be why he kept doing it.

@Van hahah! You just reminded me that I got accused of cheating because I missed a bikini waxing appointment. He said ‘Which hipster are you fg who is into retro disco bush?!’ Pathetic turd bags.

Your exes sound dreadful. Ex mostly just projects weird stuff onto me, and it really gives me an insight into how screwed up his thought processes are. I find myself wondering who would ever think or do that and then it occurs to me: he would.

Luckily ex has never really accused me of cheating. He did get a bit funny and asked out right about the sex of my friend with a name that’s more often given to boys. What did happen was that he changed his tune about the morality of cheating. It went from ‘totally unacceptable’ to ‘well you never know what’s going on’ round about the time I’m pretty sure he started seeing someone.

This morning I have applied for a mortgage (with NatWest - it’s always NatWest that’s got the best deal when I apply for a mortgage for some reason) and instructed a solicitor. I have no reason to be, but I still feel nervous about it all.

I also decided to do the low carb bootcamp - if nothing else, it’ll help me get back to the ways that I used to eat (and presumably help with switching DS2 to a gluten free diet when we finally see the consultant). So I’m drinking enormous amounts of water and needing to pee all the time! I’m technically not overweight (in BMI terms) but I’m quite short and bigger than I’d like to be so any weight loss will be a bonus.

I also signed up for a free aerial Pilates class in June! That should be interesting (it certainly won’t be graceful).

How is the lad progressing with the snowboarding lessons?

He’s doing ok, I think. The instructor said he should be on the main slope now, not the little boarding slope. His heel edge is good but he needs to work a bit more on toe edge. He’s starting to work towards proper turning now, rather than just falling leaf.

He really loves it. In his mind he’s going to be a pro-swimmer/snowboarder with a fallback plan of computer science.

aerial Pilates?

Good lad.

Snowboard is really difficult to learn but once it clicks, it clicks. It's also really much more harder to learn on what I guess is a dry slope, once he hits the snow he will find it so much easier.

My 4YO DS isn't aware that I've booked him a week of lessons at Tamworth snowdome over the Summer holidays. Hopefully he'll love it.

My employers have had since May 3rd to complete a reference for the EA dealing with my rented house

That is so frustrating. Hopefully someone in HR will just get on with it.

I suppose it's another step towards making it real for us. Another point at which, I don't know about you, I began to feel like this shit is really happening and it's not all been a bad dream.

You’re probably right there. It’s also that I’m doing it on my own for the first time, so it’s just me and my salary that count. It shouldn’t be a problem, but still makes me feel nervous.

Ex has a letter regarding the divorce waiting for him when he comes home. I can't wait to know what's in it! I've held it up to the light but can't see much

Ha ha. Hopefully it’s telling him to be realistic.

aerial Pilates?

Yes. I have no idea either. It was free and near work so I thought I’d give it a go.

@A4710Rider I’m sure your 4 year old will love it. It is hard, but fun with it.

It is a dry slope. The main slope at least has sprinklers on it. He did get a go in the snow on it one day when we had snow. The next week he was miffed about how much harder it was on the plastic.

I forgot to mention. Ex texted me at 8.44 to ask if I’d instructed the particular solicitors we always use. He said he’d instructed them for the sale but couldn’t do it for my purchase.

But when I spoke to them, he hadn’t contacted them at all. Nor had they heard through the EA our house is being sold with. They had heard from the EA that is selling the house I’m buying though.

The woman on the phone laughed and said ‘so he’s just telling you that he’s done everything but isn’t actually doing it then’. I think she fully appreciates why we’ve split up from that alone.

Regardless, I’ve instructed the solicitor for sale and purchase, and informed the EA. Apparently I should hear back something about the mortgage today - then it’s just about the valuation. Eek.

He's such an arse, his failure of trying to bully you is quite hilarious... almost like he is trying to delay the sale so your purchase falls through

I’m not sure that he has any particular purpose with it. He’s probably just being a git.

I’ve done it now anyway and I’ll take my ID in to the solicitor’s office this afternoon. These things move at a glacial pace at the best of times, but at least it’ll be moving.

I need to know a moving date for you lol chanting you on

Oh. I do too!

Ex is in the living room, which is underneath my bedroom. He’s got the tv really loud (with a lot of bass through the sub). This is annoying.

It’s even more annoying because I have put up with years of him insisting that everyone has to have the tv at just about audible. It was all part of his delusions and paranoia about the neighbours hearing anything in our old house. He also refused to use any of the rooms that shared a wall with the neighbours, which meant he spent his entire time hiding in the box room.

But when it will piss me off, he has the tv on loud. Wanker!

Ear plugs the orange shaped foam ones are brilliant.

I don't think earplugs would do it. You need something harder, heavier. Maybe a hammer?

He doing it to get a reaction from you, because you got to the solicitor before him and now he sulking.

I have visions of him only being able to afford a middle terrace house and skulking around it so the neighbours can't hear anything. Of course his neighbour will just think he weird and no one is interested in what he is doing.

Of course his neighbour will just think he weird and no one is interested in what he is doing.

Exactly. He is weird.

He’s planning to stay in the spare room in a flat after the sale and then figure things out. That’s even better than a mid terrace. My bet is on him buying a detached new build with teeny tiny rooms eventually.

I have elected just to ignore the loud noise. I figure any response will give him what he’s after.

Fuse out of the plug...