Break Out The Red Flag Bunting, It's Dating Thread 131

[VetOnCall]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

a beard you could lose a badger in Brilliant 😂😂😂

So what is the etiquette with OLD, you chat to different people, how many ?
I currently have 178 messages, is it rude not to reply and say your not interested?
I just can't trawl through them
, but some seem to be sending multiple messages that I've not even opened.

Holland I've found the safest way is just to ignore completely. If yo u engage and say thanks, but no thanks or the equivalent, you're likely to get drawn in to conversations you don't want to have! Either that or be called shallow for saying no before you've 'got to know them' etc etc.
Save yourself the hassle and just ignore!!

Treated myself to a new teapot and a couple of books this weekend. Think I'll find this more intellectually stimulating at the moment than OLD.

Joking aside, intelligence is a hugely attractive quality for me. It's one thing I can't/ won't compromise on.

Sky- Thanks, that's what I thought.

falcon definitely agree - stimulating conversation where I can learn and vice versa is very attractive as is someone showing interest in my job which most men get squeamish about and pull 🤢 face

Wish me luck am going on my date. First proper one and I'm having a MASSIVE wobble.

Well, yesterday date went well, but he is far too short for me and definitely no spark on my side. We talked, had lunch, had a few drinks and talked some more. No more Mrchef he is friend zoned.
mrOil is offshore now but sent me a lovely message before he went yesterday so will wait to hear from him when he gets back. mruniform is far far too serious, havent heard from him for a few days and probably wont again.
mrSnog is back on the scene again, we had a long chat and went out last night together. Lots of drinks, lots of laughs and we talked the whole night, it was just me and him. We bumped into a few people that we both knew when we were out and it was fine... and he made me breakfast at mine today. I have no idea where this is going, if anywhere, but its fun. I like him. Not quite ready for the smitten bench though. And he is a great kisser. Have I mentioned that before?

silver . good luck, remember to have fun.

OLD is so funny. Figured I'd smile at a guy and see what happened as half the time the profiles aren't active. A handful of questions in and he's asking me how I like to be spoilt and then saying he could arrange for my answer to happen. This is after saying he'd buy me flowers and chocolates to be romantic, especially on Valentine's Day.

Silver good luck and enjoy!

Jax where are you finding all these dates?! Half the profiles I get sent aren't even active.

Hope all goes well silver!

Not sure why the replying quickly is strange to me, perhaps because it all seems strange and I don't know what the 'rules' are of online dating. I say dating but not actually dating seems all a bit unreal to me.

Good to hear others are a fan of the mega messages. Not sure mine are that interesting but at least they give the person a choice of things to respond to?

Wild Saturday night in the sofa for me!

Or on the sofa, but might get in the sofa for some warmth if all continues to go as it is going .

It doesn't bode well when they tell you your photo is fuzzy because they haven't paid to join and are enjoying the free messaging on offer this weekend

literary Im on PoF - dont get me wrong, Ive learned VERY quickly that many men LIE about their age and height. And I get more than my fair share of dodgy messages. I just dont reply.

Out of the many matches they send I can honestly say that I only message or reply to a select handful. Yes, you can message someone you like the look of or someone who has an interesting profile.

Jax I might give it a go. I'm on eharmony but get so few matches. In fact I'm down to 2 and they are nothing to write home about. I think I have quite a strong profile and that might be off putting to less confident men. I'm 41 though, I've not got time to mess about and know what I want in life.

silver fingers x’d you have an awesome first date with no red flags!!! Look forward to your update

jax awwwwwww sounds good when are you seeing him again?

saud there’s a happy medium between quick responses and having a life away from OLD - the bloke I’m speaking to at the minute replies quickly if we’re having a back and forth convo but he does tell me when he’s off out and unlikely to respond which is unnecessary but kinda nice that we don’t then have that angst of why they’ve not replied - I also like there to be mutual first texting of the day lol
He hasn’t suggested meeting yet so if he hasn’t by end of play tomorrow I’m going to bite the bullet - I’m meeting me old friend for dinner and a movie tomorrow, I really value his friendship so not sure we should strive for anything more than fwb and just enjoy it for what it is

I’m still unsure why I get loads of messages on pof but sod all from tinder/bumble - same photos and same info if anyone would like to critique my profile and help me gain swipes I’d be grateful

Hope the date is going well silver

Jax I need to toughen up. I reply to most because I don't want to be rude, but end up bored very quickly. Maybe I should just delete them. Or at least say thanks but no thanks, then go.

POF has been great these last few days. I hated it last time, but I've found some interesting people this time round.

I don't think I'd be much help Barm, I get quite a lot of matches on both Tinder and Bumble but then hardly any of them actually message and the ones that I message on Bumble hardly ever reply. I matched with one bloke on both yesterday, messaged him on Bumble and the match expired because he didn't reply. Why the fuck bother to swipe right on me twice in one day and then not reply? WHY?!

I deleted my Match profile after the 3 day trial ended. There was literally only one person on there that I liked the look of but I've already seen him on POF. The rest were truly grim. If you're on Match, you're at a loose end and want to feel better about where you live do a search for men aged 35-44 within 50 miles of Exeter. I dare you.

FML!

I'm an arse.

He was funny, seemed kind, was cute and interesting but held polar opposite views to me (foreigners are bad), but I got drunk and snogged him anyway.

silver oops. Its not the end of the world, dont beat yourself up over a kiss.

Im on week 3 (I think) of OLD and Ive learned from everyone on here the 'rules' tom if you like the look/profile then send a message, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
literary its the only place Im on. I dont have time to be doing multiple sites and you have to sift through the 'hook ups' and weirdness but there are some decent, genuine people on there.
barm not sure when Im seeing him - my family are all going to my sisters for dinner later and I know he is off tomorrow.

Silver never mind. Hope the kissing was good.

Tom I usually reply to most messages even if it's just to say thanks but you're too far away/not what I'm looking for. I've only had one who got nasty. But I don't get loads of messages.

Barmcake happy to look at your profile if you pm me the link. I've looked at a few for people on here.
Love the username btw.

Trying to catch up, the thread moves so fast.

I had a message on POF this morning from a man that looks almost identical to the man at the gym that I have a crush on (it isn’t him as the man at the gym is married and slightly fitter), he has asked me if I would like to meet so hopefully when I return from my holiday we can go on a date.

I’m also hoping to meet Mr Tinder next weekend but now his brother has been taken I’ll and hasn’t got long to live, I feel sorry for him and it’s hard to know what to say. I’m off on holiday tomorrow so a week off of OLD and probably no WiFi. I shall catch up when I get home.

Met my date from last night for a coffee and a wander round the shops this yesterday.
He really does seem like a good guy, though I'm super-honed for red flags. Feel ridiculously relaxed about it all which is odd, because he's been the nicest guy I've met by a long shot. Probably due to the fuckwits we've all met through OLD, my expectations are low so I'm not coming across as needy or intense, so probably coming across better iyswim.

I've done the drunk kisses far more often than I care to mention silver. I'm fairly tactile at the best of times, when I've got a few vodkas inside me I'm a nightmare.

An enforced week off OLD is probably a good thing love, hope you have a great time 😎