Break Out The Red Flag Bunting, It's Dating Thread 131

[VetOnCall]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

runs that doesn't sound great. Behaviour like that (calling before you're home) would annoy me. I think it's the personal questions that would really put me off. How they can be so up front when you barely know them? Had you had deep conversations prior to last night? If you'd already started opening up a bit then I can understand it. But if you've only had general chat, then it's a bit odd. Do you think he might be a bit over keen?

Do you think he's worth a second chance?

runs nah. Just on the bad kissing and calling you alone would Put me off. Life's too short for shit snogs.

Oh no Runs, he doesn't sound good at all; asking multiple personal questions which clearly make you uncomfortable and calling you like that are both quite controlling behaviours. Those both ring big alarm bells with me - if you felt uncomfortable that is your instincts telling you something and it's generally wise to listen to them. Combined with being half an hour late - it all comes across a bit like some kind of weird test to see what you'd put up with. The bad kissing is the least of the concerns but still bad so it would be a definite immediate bin off for me. Sorry it didn't go better though

My date was amazing!

He looked so much better in person, he had a lovely accent. Right balance of asking questions and answering them. Had a few drinks in a couple of pubs then went to see a live band doing 80s covers - my idea of heaven - then ended up in a nightclub until 3.30am!
There was kissing, and it was very good.

He's asked for a second date over the weekend.

I really feel grounded about all this, not getting my hopes at all because of the experiences we've all had on here, but if nothing else it's made me realise what a good date looks like.

Yay Popcorn! I always find that even if it ends up not working out, having the occasional good date in between all the dross is a really good reminder that yes, there are people out there who you will click with and find attractive, but you just have to wade through a looooot of muck to find the diamond decent ones.

Sorry your date wasn't successful runs - why would he think it appropriate to ask really personal questions?

And although it might sound shallow, I'm on the same page as pud when it comes to kissing.

I'm so pleased to hear your date was a success pud. It is confidence boosting to have a good night out, no matter what happens.

POF is keeping me very busy. No-one I really want to meet, and no-one has asked to meet me! But several interesting conversations, which I am enjoying.

popcorn yay sounds like a perfect date - hope there is a repeat!!

runs bad kissing is such a turn off - it’s a massive dealbreaker for me as it’s one of my favourite pastimes

kin sounds v interesting - any particular field or would that be outing?

Well I was supposed to go out with the girls last night - just about to get ready when it was cancelled - being child free and in the mood for something other than meal for one and tv I text mr old friend to see if he was up to owt - he wasn’t, so I went to pick him up, came back to mine, had a few beers, watched the godfather, then dropped him off this morning

Today I’m staying in bed watching gone with the wind (I’m determined to get through the whole thing - I’ve started it 4 times )

popcorn good to hear your date went well.

I've been giving last night's date a lot of thought. Although he was funny, smart and had a lot of positives, there were too many negative bits. He'd already pushed the time of the date back and then was late, so it was too late to get dinner as planned.
In the middle of chatting about his work, he asked what turned me on. Then changed it to what I found attractive. Probably when he saw my face. He also asked about "bedroom" toys.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who found his phone call to be a bit controlling.
But I can't overlook the terrible kissing. Slobbery with too much tongue. Yeuck!!
I was thinking about a second date but I've decided I can't face kissing him again.

runs eww. sex toys on a first date?! really! was he the one you met on a night out?

Oh god Runs I didn't realise that was what you meant by personal, and the kissing is a a BIG deal, no 2nd date!

Puds if my date tonight goes half that well I will be delighted!

So what do you all wear to a date? I'm having a nervous spin. It's a bar in town and I'm torn between long boots with jeans or more skirt/shirt. Or do I go a bit sexier dress but don't won't to give off the wrong impression.

The town it's in I'm likely to be surrounded by 18yos wearing string bikinis

Sometimes you just have to post it on here to realise how bad the date actually was.
Yes, this was the guy I met while I was out last weekend. Most of the time he was great, no complaints. But I got the feeling he's a bit sex obsessed. And not in a good way.
I've just messaged him to say thanks but there won't be a second date.

Silver I go for smart jeans/trousers on a first date. I'll only put a dress on if I've had at least three dates and I want to give the wrong impression

Ha ok jeans!

Hey attempting but not really attempting online dating as I keep getting cold feet. Is it strange if someone keeps replying quickly? This is completely new territory for me.

Silly thing to stress over, not sure dating is for me!

Hi by the way. I'm attempting to date and meet new people as its been a while since I have been in a relationship.

Thanks, that's true! I think the whole thing just makes me a bit anxiety and how do you knowing people are on they say they are etc? I find it hard to reply without writing a boring novel size answer

The nunnery is looking more and more appealing

I quite like the idea of retiring to a nunnery, saud - although probably for different reasons

I've just discovered someone on Tinder has stolen my profile wording.
He has the exact same write-up as me, word for word. I've swiped right to see if we match but not a lot else I can do about it.

Apologies first, I put earlier pud and I meant popcorn

Smeaton I am currently talking to someone on POF and we have really long conversations. I'm really enjoying it and so is he. We talk about all sorts of things and I look forward to his messages. It's rare though. Mostly it's very short sentences, which makes it hard to keep going.

Yes

Smeaton glad you said that as I think my answers are always too long!

I just got chased up by a guy on Tinder to check if I was still around after not answering dor a while and told him "LOL" did not really leave me anyway of replying. His answer? "Oops sorry".

No dude still no where for me to go!

Voice of Doom (with a side of Cynicism) checking in salutes

I’ve deleted POF and have just gone on to Match to do likewise (they don’t make it easy, do they?)
and Mr Moves has viewed me. Better block him on WA quick before he does a Marley on me 🙄

I’ve decided to take my chances in real life. I had a bit of a flirt with a guy in a greengrocers today; we bonded over a celeriac. Shame he had a good 20 years on me and a beard you could lose a badger in, but I still got it. Oh yes.

bant the penguin look does it for you huh?
saudade why are quick replies making you anxious? You’ll never know who you’re talking to but as long as you follow the dating rules at the top of the thread, don’t give out personal info, maybe speak to someone on the phone if messaging goes well - message via kik if you’d rather not give out your number but you can always delete and bloke - you have to be a little ruthless and be clear on your boundaries as in distance etc and always always always go with your instincts!! Good luck and dip a toe in!!

I too love a meaty message - I have no patience when the conversation is hard work and I end up asking all the questions or leading it - the nice bloke I’m talking to atm - we’re swapping messages at a steady pace about films we’ve watched then we go off on to a ramble about something else - it flows and makes me think that if we meet the conversation would be interesting and not at all difficult

coverme Voice of Doom's trusty sidekick checking in 😀 I haven't found anyone at all to chat to for weeks. I don't know if it's me being jaded, or a succession of completely unsuitable men. I haven't chatted with anyone who can carry on a conversation without being weird, creepy, or just thick. Can't bring myself to delete sites quite yet, but its coming! Signed up to the Times site, and there were TWO blokes within 50 miles. I lasted 5 minutes before deleting it.

runs think you're best off out of that one!!