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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The Fabulous Crown wearing cafe. No contact thread part 9...

999 replies

seshi · 12/03/2018 21:01

Hello ladies for anyone attempting, going through or wanted to try No Contact. We don't judge on here... Just lots of lovely support and advice... Come join us

OP posts:
Thread gallery
31
wossgoinon · 17/03/2018 07:34

He of course denies it.

Original poster
seshi · 17/03/2018 07:39

@oldbrook come to the UK!! Or at least come visit.

@woss that is a terrible thing for you to see... I would be devastated. God he really really does not deserve you. Remember this is not a nice man!! He is toxic. Let him go have his sordid NSA... It's a shallow life! He won't find happiness. What can we do to help you today?

OP posts:
gingergenius · 17/03/2018 07:42

What a shut @wossgoinon. I've been there. It feels like someone has blown a hole in your chest. I'm so sorry. As seshi asked, what can we do to support you? X

wossgoinon · 17/03/2018 07:43

I don’t know. I just feel so low. And conned. There was just so many red flags. I just didnt want to see them .

wossgoinon · 17/03/2018 07:45

Now I’m crying. He disappeared for week a couple of years ago. Blaming me for something. Then I find out he was cheating on me for a whole year. I still took him back

gingergenius · 17/03/2018 07:50

So sorry @wossgoinon. But your eyes are open. This is the hard bit. Accepting that he is never going to change. He's never going to be the person you need. It hurts and it's hard to accept that (I'm still trying - hope is a bitch) but with that acceptance you'll find the strength to move on x

Original poster
seshi · 17/03/2018 07:52

@woss baby steps today. If you want to spend the day crying do it... You have to grieve. But if you can try and get out today... Can you see friends? Fresh air is so good for the soul. @woss your self esteem is shot... You need to start building yourself up again. Its a shock I know and just horrible. But he does not bring you any happiness just stress and heartache. But as I say baby steps today... If you need to take some time out today to cry and let it all out. And keep posting

OP posts:
Original poster
seshi · 17/03/2018 07:53

@anxiousnow hope is a bitch... It's our downfall

OP posts:
Ravenscloak · 17/03/2018 08:17

Morning Day 23 NC for me.
I had a dream we were back together Sad
Went to a school thing last night - a few people asked about him so I told them. I said he was overwhelmed and his kids couldn’t give and his work couldn’t give so his relationship had too.
A weekend with my kids coming up, not much planned. It’s snowing here in London!

Original poster
seshi · 17/03/2018 08:29

@ravens congratulations on day 23....That's fab! It's snowing here in the east midlands as well. Looks like we won't be going far today

OP posts:
Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 17/03/2018 08:57

Day 37 NC and Day 3 or 4 ( ? ) of No WhatsApp looking ...

was out on my "date" last night - it was OK , not huge spark but it was a diversion and no gaps in the conversation . Then when driving home my phone was playing random music and an NC track same on and I cried . WTF ! Our physical and mental attraction were so strong. Sad

Going to catch up on the thread !

Ravenscloak · 17/03/2018 09:08

Thanks seshi Are you sure your relationship with NC won’t work? He’s coming to the concert and proposing a 2 night stay? Where will you stay? Same room? He still gets you to help him out with his phone? Or was he flaky do you should move on and do better?

Ravenscloak · 17/03/2018 09:11

Day 37 is amazing bloody and not checking WhatsApp.
NK hope things are better today, you’ve had a bit of a rollercoaster recently.
Hope everyone has a good day!

Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 17/03/2018 09:14

belonger that Recovery cartoon - very very true !
In general , ladies - fck them and their weak pathetic manipulating messages which come when THEY feel like it* I have been exposed to that ..(thousands of messages between us in 7 months Shock )

NK good luck with the "talk"

seshi well done on all the running !

MrsG you said it - a "fantasy life"

MrsGryllsTheSecond · 17/03/2018 09:33

Thanks ginger, seshi and bloody* for talking so much sense. This thread helps so much. I read everything and I am learning and I am in a better place now than I was a couple of months ago. I’m looking after my DC solo today and so have my hands full so minimal MN. Hope everyone has a good day Flowers

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 17/03/2018 09:36

Morning all and Happy Paddys Day

Ginger well done on not texting after having a drink. I've trained myself not to text NC after a few drinks since my drunk dial in Dec. It seems to be working well.

Teens I'm delighted your son seems to be recovering from his op. Well done on 1 week NC.

Mrs I'm not NC either and the ladies all reassured me that we chat about all sorts not just NC. Feel free to stay on here. I can completely see why you want to escape your situation. No judgment from me Flowers

Woss sorry you had to read that email. Just further confirmation as to what a dead loss he is.

Seshi well done on the 6km. You are so fast. Any more messages from your guy?

Ravens well done on Day 23. Huge achievement. Was the school thing good?

Bloody glad the date went okay. Typical that the song came on when you were on the way home. Hope you're okay.

Morning Anxious, Oldbrook, My, Belonger and everyone else.

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 17/03/2018 09:42

Had the chat with H last night just so he is aware that we are separated and waiting on mediation for a definite separation. He doesn't want it so it is so hard to bring up. Anyway we had a talk and I think he is clearer. I hope he is.

On a separate note NC is on a lads holiday and is pretty much messaging me constantly. I was thinking he wouldn't message at all but he Is, a lot. What's that all about?

Oldbrook · 17/03/2018 09:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Belonger · 17/03/2018 09:50

Morning all, but disappointed not to have loads of snow here, after all the dire warnings!

Day 7 for me today, still have no desire at all to make contact, which is lovely after having to work so hard for so long. It's as though thoughts of him/us have moved to an entirely different part of my head, one I only occasionally have reason to visit

Thinking of you all Flowers

Belonger · 17/03/2018 09:51

Nice inspiration

The Fabulous Crown wearing cafe. No contact thread part 9...
Bookangel · 17/03/2018 09:57

Leaving the thread. Good luck everyone.

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 17/03/2018 09:59

I guess I am Oldbrook. I certainly wasn't expecting to have so much contact from him when he was on a lads holiday. He confuses me so much.

Well done on Day 7 Belonger

meowimacat · 17/03/2018 10:09

Morning everyone, day 6 for me. I am so gutted today, I had a great night out planned tonight with a friend who has also split with her boyfriend. Thing is she lives 3 hours away and it's snowing and due to get really bad later, so I'm going to have to cancel and she will be gutted. I'm gutted too, been looking forward to it all week.

This is the first Saturday I have not seen NC in 3 months as well. Instead of being out having fun, I'm going to be sat at home on my own with nothing to do and nobody I know that lives nearby.

I also discovered from his Instagram that the girl I used to see calling him is someone different to who I thought. So he was probably hooking up with her the whole time he was with me. :( Feeling crap today. I don't know whether to delete him off Instagram, I feel like that's the final nail in the coffin, and part of me doesn't want to lose him but part of me feels I should.

Oldbrook · 17/03/2018 10:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Belonger · 17/03/2018 10:17

Bye bookangel, best of luck to you too