The Fabulous Crown wearing cafe. No contact thread part 9...

[seshi]

Hello ladies for anyone attempting, going through or wanted to try No Contact. We don't judge on here... Just lots of lovely support and advice... Come join us

Just heard from NC regarding some work stuff. Replied simply and strictly to do with work. He then asked how I was. I ignored him once so he persisted. I said I was keeping myself to myself as that felt safest all round.

Does that count as breaking NC???

ginger what a star you are! You're doing great. You're sticking to your plan of minimal contact

Had a lovely day with my dd as I kept her off today (head phoned this morning very apologetic about the crap behaviour From dd's teacher) and we went to the beach to photograph some stuff for some of my uni projects and we've been making and doing at home so feeling quite fluffy now and glad I haven't engaged.

Bookangel that is sad about your kids not having a male role model. I'm so glad I didn't introduce NC to my kids, as they would be so upset not to see him again.

Ravens I feel the same, I need to feel as though I will see my NC again, just so I can get through these 30+ days.

I'm on day 5 today, although I started posting on Instagram again after a week not doing so, and I can see he's viewed my story. Decided to get back to normality, and act like I'm not bothered even though in reality I'm gutted he didn't want me for anything more than a FWB. Yesterday I had a really weak moment where I was so angry with him and hurt that I almost messaged him. But instead I took a moment and wrote him a 'fake' letter that I read to myself when upset, telling him all the things he hurt me with. It's pointless telling him, but it helps to read it back and remind myself why I'm doing this.

MyRelationshipIsWeird Yes those kind of messages are the worst. My NC sent me a "I know these messages don't help, but I miss you" which basically was his way of trying to get comfort from me telling him I miss him too. I ignored it. If he doesn't want me back, he doesn't get a message from me. Sigh.

ginger glad you had a good day. Stay strong!

nicked off a different thread:

angry playlist:- apologise (timbaland)

• take the long road and walk it (the music) (such angry guitar!!)
• breaking up (Rilo kiley) ("ooh it's good to be free!")
• blow me (P!nk)
• time of your life (green day)
• go your own way (fleetwood Mac)
• irreplaceable (Beyoncé)
• I couldn't be your friend (Tegan and Sara)
• somebody I used to know (gotye)
• you're so vain (Carly simon)
• the sign (ace of base)
• my favourite mistake (sheryl crow)
• how's it gonna be (third eye blind)
• we are never ever getting back together (taylor swift)

anyone else?

sorry x posts ginger WELL DONE!!! xXx

@bassetting - new rules by dua lipa to add to that list!

The realistic picture of going NC which should go in our book! The direction of travel is still upwards though

Omg yes @Belonger

Ok. He asked a couple more questions. I didn't ignore because the badgering makes me anxious but I answered them perfunctorily but haven't ventured into feelings or conversational territory. I really don't want to share anything personal of myself. I actually had a good day. No tears today at all!!!

Meow it was impossible for them not to see him and we had lots of great times all together. I don't have child care for lo so any weekend activities had to be together. This is why I've said no dating until LO is at school in a couple of years and will be able to have playdates and maybe stay over with my mum.

Well done ginger it must be so much harder when you have to have some contact via work.

Well done ginger, that sounds great. Soon you will be able to ignore the badgering without stress too! (makes sense that a wankbadger would be badgering )

Just want to cry tonight. My hopefully one day will actually be my ex husband has just rolled up in a brand new audi and I have a tenner to last the next four days. This guy doesn't even have enough beds for all his children, in fact doesn't even have his own house, he lives with his gf in an ex council house in a shithole suburb of a big city. I could cry for my daughters who have to share beds and squash into a 3 bed house with 5 other kids. And I really miss my ex tonight and being able to chat to him about things like this. First time I've really missed him and feel like I want him back.

I'm so happy to report that I'm feeling really good today, it feels like I've shifted from having to work really hard to resist contacting him. This week it's not really felt like an effort, and although I've thought about him I don't think it's been as much at all. Something has definitely shifted!

Good work Belonger - enjoy the shift into something more positive.

Bookangel its so hard isn't it. Stay strong. He's not the answer.

Evening all. Have had a very tearful, emotional day. I realise I am going to have to talk to H to make sure he realises that we have split up. I also need to organise a single bed and move into the spare room. I thought the financials would be the most stressful in all this but I was naive. The guilt I'm feeling is nearly tearing me apart.

Thanks Oldbrook. My god it's tough

NK you poor thing, please don't feel guilty. We get one life and it's up to us to make the best of it.

Oh nk I'm so sorry, good luck with the conversation and moving into your own room. You have no reason to feel guilt though, you haven't done anything cruel or malicious, you've just fallen out of love with someone.

NK (((((()))))

NK if it is the right thing then it is going to happen sooner or later.
Doing it cleanly now is prob for the best, hard as it seems.
My is right. We only get one life.