The Fabulous Crown wearing cafe. No contact thread part 9...

[seshi]

Hello ladies for anyone attempting, going through or wanted to try No Contact. We don't judge on here... Just lots of lovely support and advice... Come join us

NK no temptation on my part and would have my 3 year old in tow.

Thank you everyone. This is one of the hardest things I have done. I loved him and I let him break men

woss we’re all here for you. Hope it goes ok today. It will be an emotional one so be kind to yourself. Have you got any help with the move, other than van man?

He didn’t break you, you’re still here and you’re taking care of yourself. You’re just a little cracked. You will be fine.

Day 2 of complete NC. Every hour seems like a day. It's hard. I just wish he'd have some kind of epiphany and realise that he needs to work on stuff too. That it's not just me. It's really hard.

@wossgoinon I'm sorry you feel so low. We've all got your back here.

@NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 you ok after your snog?

Beautiful quote my - I also like the thing that says that cracks are where the light shines in

ginger I know it's hard, it's really hard at first and that's why you've been trapped in the abusive cycle with him. What you're doing is HUGE - courageous and life changing. There are people in the world who love you and someone you haven't yet met who will show you what a loving, sexy and supportive relationship feels like.

Keep going one hour at a time. This is like a fierce workout for your heart muscles - they are getting stronger with every minute you resist the urge to make the pain go away by getting back on the merry go round. If you contact him you will make you feel better for a few minutes because you will have the hope again, but then remember how shit you feel after your interactions with him? You'll feel like that again, but worse.

He isn't going to have that epiphany I'm afraid. But you have.

You got this.

bloody well done with not scratching the WhatsApp itch - that's brilliant progress! Sounds like a real turning point.

Nice one oldbrook! 'At least they think I’m hilarious and have an excuse to act like children' - love it!

Glad you had a lovely time

Beautiful quote My

He didn't break you Woss. He damaged and dented you but you're strong and you stood up and said no. Onwards and upwards now

@Belonger I think I have a girl crush on you!
You say the most amazing things that make so much sense. Thank you. X

Belonger has it spot on Ginger. What you are doing is massive. Can you write down a few bullet points of what he has done (cheated, fraud, stole the dog) and screenshot them and put in your phone so you can look at them everytime you are tempted to text him.

Sounds like a fab evening Oldbrook. Lol at Mr. Snog. We aren't friends on fb but a mutual friend tagged him in photos that I'd put up of the night and he commented there. I replied because I wanted to be nice and he liked what I wrote so hopefully that's an end to It!

"I'd rather be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong reasons." That's one of my favourite film quotes.

Lol ginger - if I say anything helpful it's because I've been where you are now, and I know how hard it is. But oh my goodness it's sooooo worth it.

You're breaking an addiction basically, and that is HARD. And changes your life! You're doing brilliantly, keep going.

Morning you luvvverly lot!

Gets pans out, puts fresh coffee on, some uplifting music...

An odd day for me. Last Tues I was offered the major surgery for today but as I was unable to confirm on the spot ( re childcare cover, I'll be in for 5 days) they have delayed it till early May. I dont have a date yet so I am twitchy something will go wrong and I'll miss it.
Actually the weather here is wild and more snow forecast so it would not have been a good weekend to travel so far (its about 200m) and hard for exH / kids / practicalities.
Both mine are off today with high temp / sore throats so will dip in and out here as i can.
Seshi I will pm you my details for WhatsApp if I may?
If we are doing a meet up might need to book tickets soon for budget

@NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 every time I weaken I think about all those things. And how I've just sucked it up - along with all the crap he has fed me since we got back together (more of the same) and yet somehow I'm the problem?!?! He's helped himself to my son's Ritalin,lied, shouted, accused me of spoiling things to cover up his mistakes. He's unreliable, egotistical and arrogant.

My kids can't stand him and apart from great sex I can't think of a single way he enhances my life. Yet apparently no-one will love me like he does.

How do I pm from my phone?

Morning Basseting you taking orders yet?

Ginger did he take ritalin to get a buzz? Who does that? Just remember your kids dislike him for a reason.

@NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 yes. I've taken it rarely on occasion to get me through s day if I've been up all night with kids but that was a long time ago. But he was Nicking it and doing it like coke. I used to dabble with coke recreationally (with him) but realised it was all part of the negative cycle we were in and that it was actually making things worse not better. It also started to be the case that the only way we could 'relate' was if we were on it. Please don't judge. I know it's not clever.

I stopped because it was making me feel like shit and am working on cutting down on booze too which I use to dull the pain. I realise this doesn't exactly cover me with glory but I'm working on being better

No judgment here Ginger I used to take stuff back in the day in my 20s, gave it up before I had kids.

The more you say though the worse he sounds. I'm not giving out to you but you shouldn't be taking other stuff alongside your Prozac. It'll be messing up with your dosage and mental health. He is beyond toxic. He sounds dangerous and could really lead you down a bad road. I know it must be so hard for you but please don't go back to him, think of your beautiful kids

"I stopped because it was making me feel like shit" - see, you can totally do this, you already did it with one substance, now you're doing it with a relationship! And it's bloody hard because you're giving up something which momentarily takes the bad feelings away.

The bit of your brain which wants the bad feelings to go away is actually faster/speedier (because it's more 'primitive' than the part of your brain which understands the long term crap consequences - that's why we have to work so bloody hard at first to keep reminding ourselves why we're giving it up.

No judgement AT ALL from me ginger - we've all done stuff we're not proud of in the attempt to get through tough stuff.

@NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 I'm not taking anything else now. This was in the past. X

ginger can I tempt you to some brunch instead?
I have crispy bacon, mushrooms, eggs, spinach, tomatoes, hash browns, fried bread (yum!).
Also yoghurt, honey, seeds, granola?
Coffee tea juice (bit early for cocktails here but not down under?)

I have been having an interesting set of emails with MF.
He sent the 'i'm a bad person, I am thinking of you/contacting you too much' email about 3 weeks ago (he had been Msging a lot, I said No problem and stopped contact) we have slowly begun to email again. He is being wistful/ romantic. I am saying 'yes but we parted then, you are committed now, and I am just glad we are friends again'. I am conscious of comparing this to DOM and wish I had played it that way with him. Sigh.

Day 5 Puts Crown on. Makes umpteenth million snack for kids.