The Fabulous Crown wearing cafe. No contact thread part 9...

[seshi]

Hello ladies for anyone attempting, going through or wanted to try No Contact. We don't judge on here... Just lots of lovely support and advice... Come join us

@NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 you're not me me me. And I think kisser guy was fishing. Take it as a compliment and STOP beating yourself up x

@Oldbrook hugs x

Eeek! If anyone is thinking of a book pls dont put me in!!!

Did we come up with a likely date for a London meet up?

I could do Easter hols on a Saturday or Sunday (beg/mid) but only SAt on the last wkend (14th / 15th)

I think he might be fishing too. He is such a lovely guy and there is a spark for sure but I can't go there in the middle of all this mess with H. I'm an emotional wreck. I want to keep things nice and balanced with him so do want to respond but not sure how.

Would love to pour all this out to NC as he's the only person irl I know that is separated but I'm afraid he'll think really badly of me so I'll avoid him.

Oldbrook it is a shame you couldn't stay friends but he has missed out on an awesome woman being part of his life.

TheParting, do you really think people will notice? I wouldn't have a clue who any of my FB friends were friends with.

nk you are so not me me me and the one with great in me advice all the time. Firstly, you are separated albeit not officially, secondly it was just a snog. If you like him I think you should tell him that but tell him you are in a situation at the moment, presumably he knows that anyway. You are very wise and measured so I'm more than sure you'll find the right thing to say.

I meant un me advice as in you are always giving great unselfish advice to others.

I'm having trouble with conflicting thoughts about my NC. He was generally lovely in so many ways. He'd do whatever I wanted to do regarding days out with or without kids, or dates (but only because he was too lazy to organise them himself and said he'd only get it wrong so he'd get on his pity horse), he was very supportive of me in lots of ways, very affectionate (although I hated the way he'd say "come here please" like he was talking to one of his kids, and ask for a kiss or a cuddle. I HATE being asked as though you usually deny them or they are supplicating themselves). He was very generous, paying for driving lessons, not accepting money for camping trips (I paid for most of our food though and he was working whereas I wasn't but I did offer to pay my share, I don't free load), his parents were lovely and they treated my DC like a grandchild and were so welcoming and friendly as were his aunties who we went on holiday with. He cared about my kids and joined me in hating my ex and how he was behaving. He offered to pay for me to have private hospital treatment, would frequently offer to lend money if I was short, dropped everything to help in emergencies and spent all night in a hospital chair with me when I was ill. BUT he disparaged so many things that meant a lot to me, criticised my parenting, criticised my DC, took the piss out of my DC and the last time I saw him referred to DC as a shit, had no respect for my boundaries regarding being groped in public, made me uncomfortable and emotionally unsatisfied in the bedroom, despaired at my refusal to change where I shop to save money and made me feel bad for buying things he viewed as unnecessary, was boring, had no passion for anything in life not even the things he liked, he was a depressive who didn't want to do anything to improve his life except take meds as anything else required facing some harsh home truths and working to make himself a better person so that HE'd be happier, he was still far too involved with his ex-wife over the kids instead of just getting on with separate parenting on their respective weeks, he agreed to whatever his ex wanted, too dependant on his mum, couldn't cope with life's little stresses never mind big ones. Some things I overlooked but recently they all snowballed and I told him it was over. Still unsure about that decision as I'm convinced he doesn't actually realise he's doing half the things and if I brought them up he'd deny them and turn them round. Head stuck firmly in the sand on his issues and I'm unreasonable. I feel so relieved since ending it though and I think that speaks volumes.

Evening ladies..
Off for hospital appointment tomorrow to check up on how Ds's hand is healing..nervous..

Please add me to your WhatsApp circle pretty please 🤗

Well. 24 hours since last contact with ex. It's been a long day! Well done all of you this new street is scary and unfamiliar. I'm glad you're all here too xx

Good luck @Teensandfuture

Good luck for your son teens

Was just going to say the same thing Theparting I wouldn't know if my friends weren't friends anymore on FB so I'd unfriend if you're ready to do that.

Thanks very much Itsa for your lovely words. I just replied and said it was the other way round.

Sounds like the negatives far outweigh the positives Book. Anyone that took the piss out of my kids would get shown the door. That reason and that reason alone would be enough for me.

Teens hope all goes well tomorrow

Oldbrook you have great clarity. At least you are admitting it was a smoke signal. Wouldn't it be lovely if you could end up friends.

I messaged him there so we'll see if he responds. Thank goodness he's a nice lad.

Well done Ginger. How do you feel?

Off to bed.
Teens good luck for you and your ds tomorrow.x.

Bookangel he sounds a lot like mine, but the fact that you can still see his good points as well as his downsides is a good thing; you’re not demonising him, you’re seeing the balanced view and making the right choice to leave him in your past. He’s not your person anymore and that’s ok. Have a read of the link I popped on a little while ago x

@NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 honestly? A bit lost and lonely. I'm not frightened of being alone, but I am not 28 any more and I feel small and alone. Like a tiny dinghy in a huge ocean just drifting. I was fearless in my 20s and 30s. Now I just feel washed up and past my prime. It's all just a bit sad really.

Ah Ginger you're not past your prime. None of us are. We are all wonderful on this thread and we don't take any crap. The next person you meet will be right for you because you now know what is wrong.

Goodnight Basseting and good evening My

ginger I think us women all feel like that. Funny how men the same age generally don't seem to feel the same. You are not though, you have years of fun and frivolity left in you, just had the stuffing knocked out of you. Look at all the older women you know having fun and enjoying each other's company even if they are single, divorced, widowed. Less often can it be said for comparable men. I don't want to be a man demoniser as I still think there are plenty of good ones but us women are so good at putting ourselves down and feeling middle aged and dreary and actually it us far from the truth.

Wise words Itsa and NK - each time we get it wrong, we’re a step closer to getting it right!

Night you lovely lot! See you in the morning! Who's opening up and do we have enough eggs? X