The Fabulous Crown wearing cafe. No contact thread part 9...

[seshi]

Hello ladies for anyone attempting, going through or wanted to try No Contact. We don't judge on here... Just lots of lovely support and advice... Come join us

@Olikingcharles I don't think he's hurting at all. He's angry with you for not jumping when he says. Sorry it's still so hard.

@Oldbrook just how many porno cocktails did you have when we were asleep?

Ah Ravens it's so tough. Is there any chance for you two do you think?

Ginger I'm just so drained by him and work. And then NC in the background. Thankfully work seems to have turned a corner which is great. H is on his best behaviour and I do feel sorry for him because he is trying but the love is gone. I have no attraction. God I feel like a proper bitch. How are you today?

Morning Oldbrook, My and Bloody

@NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 I know what you mean. You can't fake it any more and I guess your H's efforts now just feel too little too late. It chips away until you've got nothing left. You sound exhausted. I'm ok. Ex still badgering me to come to my blood test with me. God knows why as I'm such hard work all the time?!?!?!?

Morning all. Sounds like oldbrook had a good night in the Cafe! Glad you're feeling positive again oldbrook.

oliking you're doing so amazingly well, 60 days is brilliant! I agree that you just have to sit this out, feeling bad for him - he's just sulking is all, he'll be fine. It's not kind to give someone mixed messages - we hate it when our NCs do it to us - so you are being kind by sticking to your boundaries and not contacting him.

ravens 20 days is great, I'm so impressed by your clarity about what you need to do.

NK really glad your work situation feels better, that's great. Your H sounds really hard to manage, hope the time to mediation and separating doesn't drag too much.

ginger do you think there's some controlling going on with him wanting to come to your blood test? Given that he's decided YOU'RE the problem he wants to make sure you goddam well get yourself fixed? He sounds an absolute pain in the arse.

Morning everyone! It's a beautiful day here! @anxious sugar rimmer that is so funny! I know what you mean about feeling guilty about your DCs not being enough. I really struggle with this and hate the way my NC has filled my head when I could of been doing stuff with Ds...

I also understand about not wanting to join a group for fear of being Billy no mates... But I force myself to do it and its always way better than you think... Plus it gives you a real sense of achievement. I am consciously trying to push myself to do stuff out of my comfort zone at the moment in an attempt to become stronger mentally... It's all about the warrior!! Probably a load of tosh but it's something else to fill your head with.

Well as I was typing this NC has called me twice to say that he is coming to kasabian. He wants to meet me there which makes me nervous and has asked me to look for trains. So I am anxious about this now!! I swear if this goes tits up again I am going NC and aiming for 60 days like @oik... Such a great achievement!!

@basseting @Bloody @ginger.... I could get to London if you want to meet up at some point? @ravens how are you doing? This time of NC that your in was the bit I found hard and crumbled so stay strong!!

Thanks oldbrook yes I'm feeling brighter this morning. Day 4 for this phase of NC, and it feels a bit different this time because on other attempts there's been an end in sight - at Christmas, and then in Feb, both times I thought a few weeks of NC could 'reset' things so I'd be able to handle having occasional contact with him if I chose to. But I've tried that and it was rubbish and went straight back to feeling hard to love (wasn't looking to be loved by him, that was never going to happen and nor was I going to fall in love with him, but hadn't realised how shit it was making me feel more broadly).

This time feels like I've accepted properly that I don't want him in my life in any shape or form, it's just not kind to myself to do that. So I feel a bit like I'm stepping into the unknown with this NC. I've not blocked him because - to be honest - I want the pleasure of deleting any message I get from him - if I ever do (might not, no idea really).

FB newsfeed is talking to me/us this morning

@Belonger and @Oldbrook yes the controlling/knight in shining armour thing did cross my mind too. It's a fucking blood test. But yes it does smack if ensuring that I get 'fixed'

He must at some level be shitting his pants that he's losing his support team/fan/enabler - he will sense that you've changed and are pulling away and not playing his games any more. I love that!

@belonger I have a feeling that I will be feeling like you are in a few weeks. Maybe going NC is like riding a bike... It takes a few attempts to get it right but once you do you speed away and never look back. @nk glad job is improving... It's so shit when work and love life are tits up!! We need some kind of rest byte! You are always so wise on here though... Propping up our crowns

Ffs I told him I don't need him to attend and he sent this:

It's only because I've been upfront with you that you're actually doing something about it.

I had my first blood test just before Xmas and have been waiting three weeks for an appointment from the doctor to confirm the kind of test I need for Christ's sake. He's fucking deluded.

Sorry just ranting now. I'm so fucking annoyed! If I badger him about stuff I'm accused of hectoring/spoiling things/ruining the evening because I wouldn't let a subject drop. Apparently though it's fine in reverse.

God why can't he just leave me alone?

YES I am up for a London meet up.
SO UP FOR IT!!!

(ps can you tell when they have last used FB then?)

Easter holidays????

Day 32 - just feel a bit blah today ( late night ) and too much discussion of NC yesterday with lunch friend ( due to the anniversary trip ) and I am just weary trying to battle this all the time . I KNOW how utterly unsuitable he was and what a cheating knob he is . I KNOW he is not part of my life now. My brain just needs to ease up .Off to do a really tough class this morning so that will cure me.

Good luck everyone today !

seshi he wants YOU to arrange a train for him ??? See I can see everyone else's twats for what they are but we have a little "soft spot" for these wankbadgers ( Thanks to - basetting ? )

And now he's written this:

I'm sorry it had to be me that confronted you about this. I'm sorry that you seem to be blaming me for it. Im sorry that you can't see how unfair that is. Im sorry for a lot of things.