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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Fabulous Crown wearing cafe. No contact thread part 9...

999 replies

seshi · 12/03/2018 21:01

Hello ladies for anyone attempting, going through or wanted to try No Contact. We don't judge on here... Just lots of lovely support and advice... Come join us

OP posts:
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NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 13/03/2018 18:48

Basseting I'm 41 so not too far behind you. I think I just like the words 'twilight years'. It brings up an image of me holding someone's hand and walking along the beach in a warm country. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy!

seshi · 13/03/2018 18:53

@Bloody you are right... He is completely useless

OP posts:
Belonger · 13/03/2018 18:56

Hey bloody - WTF are you looking at him on WhatsApp for ? It tells you bugger all other than that he is alive!

Belonger · 13/03/2018 18:56

(you can always count on me for the tough love Wink)

Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 13/03/2018 18:59

Belonger Grin

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 13/03/2018 19:01

I'm as bad on messenger Bloody Confused

gingergenius · 13/03/2018 19:04

I wish you were all my sisters.

I love you all. Even when I went awol I was checking in and catching up.

Sorry if that's a bit mawkish but being on here has really helped today.

Thank you all x

gingergenius · 13/03/2018 19:06

Sorry. Didn't mean to sound stalkery!

Basseting · 13/03/2018 19:10

NK in that case I'll let you off Wink

I did once have a psychic reading (I know, I know) which said I'd find the love of my life aged about 50. Hmmm

gingergenius · 13/03/2018 19:16

I'm 49 in July. I feel like I've wasted so much time on bad relationships. The only good things that have happened as a result are my children and my photography career. I know being with someone isn't everything but I really though he was my lobster.

Feeling sad again.

gingergenius · 13/03/2018 19:17

@Basseting you did. It's Mumsnet!!!!

Basseting · 13/03/2018 19:19

Oh I'd LOVE you lot to be my sisters!

re 'stalker-ish' - there was someone asking about MN 'back in the day' last week and people were talking about the MN Spreadsheet.

Shall we make one for our ages/ locations etc and give any especial
wankbadgers scores out of 10? Grin

Basseting · 13/03/2018 19:21

X post ginger

Well, apart from the lack of you know what it is WAAAAAYYYYY better fro me, that's for sure!

You lot are utter Star s

MrsGryllsTheSecond · 13/03/2018 19:24

Just popping in to say hi Flowers. This thread moves so fast Shock. Just adding my two pennies worth on a couple of things ...

Basseting so glad you got your photos of Steptoe back Wink

Bloody please don’t go anywhere

Ginger well done on standing up to that sanctimonious twat Angry . However he may have a point sort of Grin I too am peri-menopausal and me and my man always fall out when I have pmt. But I’ve come to realise that in a weird way my pmt hormones are actually like truth drugs. They make me see things for how they really are and unable to tolerate the level of dickish behaviour that I usually suck up. Weird!

I’ve had a slightly strange day. Been at work with him all day. It’s kind of like we’ve entered a new phase. Almost like we both know it has to end, are both feeling more comfortable that that’s where it’s headed but not talking about it or acknowledging it. It’s like all the intensity of feeling has disappeared. I’m ok with that.

gingergenius · 13/03/2018 19:29

Please talk me down. I want to send this:

To quote you:

"To conclude. You become erratic, more tired, short tempered, irrational, the pitch of your voice changes, over protective, you become belligerent about stupid things like films that we're watching. Two weeks further in you are lovely, fun, professional, light hearted, funny, confident, understanding, loving"

So you like me when I make you feel good about yourself. When I reflect positivity and when I am on my 'a' game.

Otherwise you feel it's important to let me know "honestly" where I'm going wrong so I can go back to making you feel good.

Is that how this relationship is supposed to work?

I wish you'd told me. Now I know that I just have to fake being happy so you don't feel I'm being awkward or difficult!

Bloody hell! Why didn't you tell me? Sheesh I'm glad we got that sorted. Let's hang out now I know how badly I'm behaving so I can make up to you for all the ways I've been awful. And I promise never to get tetchy about anything you don't want me to get tetchy about, because obviously if I do that, I'm a big old bitch for voicing my concerns, trying really hard to let you know how I feel about things and be balanced. But we all know that your feelings are most important.

Got it.

I know I shouldn't but I'm so fucking fed up with being made to feel I'm defective.

Basseting · 13/03/2018 19:34

ginger
not saying DONT but DONT (till tomorrow anyway - sleep on it.?)
Put your crown on tonight and spend the evening in the Cafe with us?

gingergenius · 13/03/2018 19:37

@Basseting I love you. I'm so angry. And @MrsGryllsTheSecond yes very very possibly hormonal fluctuations (2nd blood test tomorrow to check hormone levels). If I'm to suffer mad hormonal mood swings, id rather be alone. I can't cope with other people's needs (apart from my children) when I'm like this.

We SOOOO need to organise a meet up!

Belonger · 13/03/2018 19:39

Don't do it ginger!! I totally understand that you want to have your say. But you are just prolonging something that needs to stop. Join us in the cafe and tell us about it instead

MrsGryllsTheSecond · 13/03/2018 19:43

Ginger I didn’t mean to imply that you have a hormone imbalance! Just empathising that I too am same age and have noticed that I’m less tolerant when I’ve got pmt than I used to be. But, I’m not a nightmare to live/deal with with everyone during this time just have no tolerance for the twattish behaviour of my man. So maybe you’re the similar, he’s the one that pushes your buttons and it’s his behaviour that becomes less tolerable when your hormones are in play?

And agree about sleep on sending that. I think he’d know he’d got to you and why give him that satisfaction?

gingergenius · 13/03/2018 19:44

I know. I know. I'm not.

It just hurts so much when you KNOW you're not fucking mental and they make out like you are.

Sorry all. Evenings are the worst. Who's on cocktail duty and who is DJing tonight!?

MrsGryllsTheSecond · 13/03/2018 19:46

Pornstar martini Ginger?

MyRelationshipIsWeird · 13/03/2018 19:47

@gingergenius he’d probably just take it at face value as your sarcasm whooshed over his head. Honestly don’t engage with it, don’t dignify it with even the suggestion that you agree with him, that you’re difficult etc as when you give them an inch they take the whole fucking 9 yards. Satisfy your need to say it here to us and let him stew in silence.

gingergenius · 13/03/2018 19:47

Wtf? @MrsGryllsTheSecond whatever it is, I want it!!!

MyRelationshipIsWeird · 13/03/2018 19:48

MrsGrylls - yes that’s what I said, it’s not that you’re feeling things that you don’t normally feel, it’s that you show your annoyance at the things you would normally let go for the sake of peace!

MrsGryllsTheSecond · 13/03/2018 19:49

Lush lush lush! Vanilla vodka, passion fruit liqueur, passion fruit purée and something else I can’t recall with a shot of bubbles on the side Wine