Little Friend??

[FriendOrFwend]

Been seeing someone for 3 months, things are going well. See eachother once/twice a week, speak every day, speak on the phone. He’s met my sister (not planned, we bumped into her on a date) and she loved him. We haven’t had a talk about ‘us’ yet but feels like it’s all heading in the right direction. Until today when he referred to me as his little friend in a conversation.

Now I can’t decide if he was being affectionate/jokey OR he does not see me as anything as other then a mate who he goes out with, has a good time then has sex with. What do people think?

Is this your first relationship?

My little friend was an incredibly sweet thing to say. Very affectionate. Aww.

How can we possibly know what he meant?!

Ffs just ask him!!

Your reply was perfect! Waiting patiently for reply.

She asked him “Are you still seeing your little friend?”

I recall my mum saying a few times that a visitor would be bringing their friend. The friend was invariably a partner!

Aw, I sometimes call DS1 'my little friend' . I love him more than anything on earth (well, except maybe DH and DS2 )

Soooo he didn’t mention the friend thing at all in his reply. His text said ‘hey on my way home from work now, it’s been a long day. I’m going to go straight to bed I am so tired. Hope you’re ok xxxxxxxxxxxxx

So now I’m not sure what to think

I think he likes you! I also think that's very sweet

I am seeing him this weekend so I’m going to ask him. 3 months isn’t rushing things is it? And if he isn’t looking for anything more then what we have now then I’d rather know before I fall any deeper. And if he does well obviously that’s brilliant. It’s just a minefield. It was never like this when I was younger (a looooong time ago). I got into a long term relationship when I was 19 and we were together till I was 27 (2 years ago). It’s all changed so much with online dating, tinder, social media etc.

Also he can sometimes take hours to reply to a message. On Sunday he text me in the morning and said just at work on a quick break, I’ll give you a ring when I finish. Then when he finished (about 1ish, he works shifts) he text me saying just finished (then general chit chat about work), nipping for a couple of drinks with a few people from work. Hope you’re ok. THEN I didn’t hear off him all day till 11.45 (I was fast asleep by this point and read it Monday morning) saying home sweet home, turned into a much later one than planned. Hope you’ve had a good day.

So hours and hours and hours since we last spoke. Now I know I sound needy (understatement of the century) but would that worry anyone? The lack of communication for hours. He hasn’t got to check in with me of course but it just hurt that he said he’d give me a ring when he finished work, didn’t, text a quick text again then now once in 10 hours did he think ‘oh I’ll see how my little friend is’

Probably my silly anxiety but I worry!

It's so difficult, but I think you need to step back a bit. Have a few deep breaths, then ask 'where are we going with this? I'm getting mixed signals, is everything ok?'

Yeah I know how stupid I sound :( I don’t act like this in real life, just on anonymous forums. And to all my friends.

The thing is I really don’t feel like he’s giving me mixed signals. He is affectionate, generous, kind, we get on really well, he’s really cuddle after sex (sorry if tmi), we hold hands in public, we see each other every week, have met for dinner/coffee during the day( so not all about sex), he asks about my day and things like that. The ONLY negative (until the little friend comment) is the taking an age to reply sometimes. Most days it’s fine, we both work/have commitments (I have dc) and we send texts through out the day. Then some days he’ll not reply for 10 hours and my head explodes :(

Which written down makes me sound about 13 years old

I agree with Pickle, after your updates I'd say just take a deep breath, try not to overthink it (I know that's difficult in itself as I do the same) and just go with the flow,then you can have that chat when you see him at the weekend :)

Yeah I’m just going to relax or I’ll combust. The weekend isn’t far away so we will see what that brings. He’s messaged me again this morning (I was asleep when he replied last night so hadn’t had chance reply to his message) so at least he’s thinking of me I suppose

You don't sound stupid at all!

Some people men are so good at compartmentalising, they don't notice the gaps in communication.

I had a BF like this. He was so absorbed in work, he simply didn't realise he hadn't seen me for ages until he stopped and thought about it. I on the other hand was mooning about waiting for him to call.

You can ask him to be a bit more consistent in how he texts and calls- say how much you love hearing from him, and that it cheers you up no end, and you'd like him to do it more! But bear in mind, if he is an out of sight out of mind guy you have to work out if you can live with it!

Just chill. Stop over thinking things. Men do not think as deeply as a women do. It was a text. Probably him just trying to be affectionate. I'm sure he didn't put much thought into it before typing it and sending it! Chat to him on weekend about defining the relationship but try to stop overthinking it. It's not like he doesn't text you for days etc. I'm sure everything is going well and will all be fine

pickle's post is a good one OP

I know how you're feeling, I'm pretty sure everything will work out :)

If i was you, I'd be thinking about my outfit for the weekend that'll take your mind off it for a while, I'd probably be starting to get ready now 😂😂

But then again I've been single for 3 years sigh

Do you see him on fri or Saturday evenings?

Don't think it's much to worry about ATM , so calm down.
After 3 months I think it's reasonable to want know whether you should invest more or not

My friend pointed out to me (after me telling her about Sunday) that he messaged on his break, messaged when he finished work then messaged when he got home. What else do I want? Which put it into perspective.

Yeah we see eachother Friday or Saturday nights, just depending on which night we’re both free then sometimes in the weeks for a date or for dinner/drinks on my lunch break.

I’ve taken one of my beta blockers and a going to treat myself to a new top for our date and see how it goes.

Your friend is right OP

It all sounds lovely tbh, and great idea treating yourself to something nice to wear

But yeah everyone is right in saying some men see it differently. He is never on his phone, he said on our first date he barely uses it whilst mine is basically welded to my hand. He probably just doesn’t even think

Me and my partner rarely text. He and I usually both take hours to reply

If someone’s at work I wouldn’t expect an immediate reply anyway. I don’t even text DP on my break unless I need to ask/know something.

Obviously every relationship is different but personally I would back off if somebody expected me to text them throughout the whole day.

I also think his ‘little friend’ was said in an affectionate way. But I do think you should have the chat at the weekend so you know where you stand. If he makes out he’s ‘unsure’ of things then I’d walk away if I was you. After 3 months you know whether you want to continue with somebody.

Distracting yourself is a good idea. It's good that you recognise you get anxious.

Honestly, I really think you're over thinking the friend thing - in the first instance and his lack of reference to it.

He likely thought it was lighthearted chat and thinks nothing of it so it wouldn't occur to him to mention it.

I wouldn't even ask about it or what he meant. I don't know, just seems a bit, if not intense, unnecessary maybe?

I'd just go with the flow and carry on as you are, having fun, enjoying each other's company and see where it goes.

When you feel yourself doubting and wobbling offload here. And buy yourself lots of tops.