Dating thread 130: dates with more issues than Vogue - mad March hares every one of 'em

[BeenThereDating]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

Thanks so much, will do it now x

I'm not on Match Jelly so can't help with that one

VET you didn't actually say whether or not you fancied him... didn't sound like you did . As PUDDING says you are clearly awesome, and honestly, he sounds as though he would probably bore you over time. Keep the faith!

And by the way, and on your recommendation, I have been reading Why Men Love Bitches - it is brilliant, thank you for that suggestion. It is keeping me mildly sane and stopping me from messaging Mr M. I am getting some nice messages from others who I really have little interest in whatsoever yawn

SpringtimeSun - dialaRAF sounds great. Please update in due course!

ok - Ive done it, joined POF. No idea how site works, got messages from local guys, just trying to work my way round the site for now. Might have to widen my search because where I now live its a big town, but not THAT big. hmmmm springtime

Pudding I'm sorry I was wrong and I'm glad I was. I thought your instinct sounded right.

I also joined PoF today. Not sure if there are a lot of older men on there. I do have an iron though. I'll call him Mr Red. Funnily enough he first approached me on a FWB site but he didn't appeal for a reason I can't remember. I later joined the site again with a new account and he was still on there and I messaged him but then he didn't reply. I know he is not on that site anymore. He doesn't recognise me because I've never had a photo of my face on either site. I shall see what the next few days bring but hope we can meet up for a drink.

Vet Next!...

Thanks pudding and Runs. I'm genuinely not that bothered that he doesn't want to see me again, he wasn't what I was expecting as I said, and although I would have tried another meet up, I don't think I would have ended up fancying him.

I think this type of man is pretty common tbh - don't be too interesting or you'll make them feel inadequate; don't be too independent or you'll make them feel emasculated; don't be too intelligent or you'll make them feel ignorant; don't have a better job than theirs or you'll make them feel inferior yadda yadda yadda... Meh.

Sorry, I missed the others, cheers Tinder and Falcon

pudding Mr Italian sounds very keen, and also decent to have shown you his Instagram to put your mind at rest.

Jelly I'm not on Match either or I would have looked at your profile for you, sorry.

Spring where did you find Mr DialARAF??

Vet meh and also BALLS to those men. There are guys out there that celebrate intelligence, confidence and accomplishment (I nearly put Charisma Uniqueness Nerve and Talent: been watching too much Drag Race) and the others don’t deserve us, frankly.

Mr Slight’s “subscription is running out” (WTAF is this? It’s so frequent!) and wants to swap numbers but what with Mr Mr getting all stalky I’ve said no.

And after a couple of messages Mr Twinkly has disappeared. Well as much as being online but not replying is “disappearing”. I really doubt I’ll hear from him again though and I trust my gut.

NO worries springtime I had a very enlightening feedback from runfor and have made some changes already. Got a lovely message from a lovely sounding guy but he has no kids and everyone I’ve dated without kids has been a disaster in terms of everyone’s expectations so I’m going to do it differently this time.

Jelly happy to help with your profile. Let's hope the new one brings you lots of dates.

Vet I met him on a night out in my town (the last minute type of night out where you don't even shave your legs )
I live in an area with a Raf base and an Army barracks in very close proximity. That has its pros and it's cons.
Anyway he's entirely unsuitable for anything more than the occasional night of fun but we do have a laugh.

Thanks to all for your input on Miss Keen - I definitely think she is playing games and is unsuitable for the longer term. Her questions about money concern me as she she was probing way beyond the basic "are you broke or solvent?" type scenario.

Val Hope you aren't too shaken by your experience, it must have been very scary for you.

Vet Don't change for anyone. I know I am only a sample size of one but not being interesting, not being independent and not being intelligent are all deal breakers for me and someone with a better job than I would make for a very welcome and refreshing change.

spring I live in the close to several army bases, have dated a couple squadies, none suitable for a relationship, most of them don’t seem to want anything too serious but they are fun.

Mr Camper turned out to be a bit of a twat, got our wires crossed last night and somehow he thought I was seeing him tonight, I then had to explain that it was too short notice to get child care and it was my daughters birthday and I have plans (going out to eat). He then got really funny with me saying he would go out alone, then ten minutes later said ‘are you sure you don’t want to change your mind and join me?’. I then got a bit funny with him as obviously I couldn’t change my daughters birthday plans or magic up childcare from nowhere. He doesn’t have kids and as most men who don’t have kids he thinks I can just hide them somewhere and go out when I like.

So no dates this week for me

Lovemusic Mr Camper sounds like a knob. Interesting your experience shows men without kids are not fab at empathising...hope that isnt the case always! I dont have enough experience to know but I met dated one lovely bloke who was keen on kids but it didnt work out for other reasons (actually cos he was not well travelled / cultured so converation got tedious).

Btw, hello Everyone ! Newish to this thread!

I have been speaking to a lovely iron Mr Purple Paisley. I initially said I wasnt interested (genuinely wasnt) but we carried on speaking as friends. Eventually met last weekend for a whole day - was lovely. As friends.

Afterwards I stupidly indicated I may be interested in more. Stupid as I think playing it cool was better. Since then I feel things are awkward but have spoken at length on phone 2 evenings this week. But then he mentioned a match conversation with someone else.

How do I find out if he is interested?! I feel so vulnerable! I have kids, he doesnt.... I am would get over him in a jiffy but I dont like this no mans land.... I dont know how to behave. Why is he telling me he liked me and but then when I suggested another date saying we dont need to label things. I just want to know if there is Potential and what he actually wants.

Ughhhh. He is nice but when I write this all down it sounds bad. Hmm. Sorry! Ranted!

Locotion If I met a woman and was interested but she then said she wasn't, and only wanted to be friends, I would never ask her on a date after that. So, in this case, I think you may have to put yourself out there and make a move, or at least drop a big hint, if you are now after more.

Kinunir I know - its all rather messy. This was all over around 6 months with long period of no contact by the way. Then re-kindled contact when I joined Match again. I initially said I wasnt interested because he had a misleading photo (hair and now has alopecia so no hair). It wasnt the hair but the misleading nature that put me off. I clarified I wasnt interested because he kept speaking to me and I didnt want him to get lead on by my conversation. Oh dear.

I think I will just have a chat. Im not interested in being friends so will just ask him. Otherwise waste of time and investment.

Runs - woohoo, two in one weekend!!! Hope you like one or even both.

Kin - I'm deeply suspicious of MissKeen and wonder if she is playing games. If you are enjoying MB, then keep going but I think as you rightly say, that may be it for her.

Pudding - glad you did a bit more background on Mr Italian. He may be fun!

Val - hope you are ok. That sounds horrible.

Bloody - what the hell is it with these bogus 'army officers'.

Vet - onwards! Who is next?

Love - good luck with Mr Camper

So, I had 5th date with Mr Wales. He is lovely and I believe I may have to go and sit on the smitten bench.

Margo that sounds lovely. Always good to hear someone is off to the smitten bench.

Love I thought you were meeting Mr Camper next week? Are you still going to meet him? It is annoying when people without kids full time don't realise you can't be spontaneous even if you would like to be.

Location do you want a romantic relationship with him? If you do then you need to tell him. Otherwise he will stick you in the friends only category while he looks for dates. If he says no then at least you know where you stand.

Great news, Margo

Runs I thought I was meeting him next week but somehow his misunderstood and thought we were meeting tonight. I’m not sure I want to meet him now as he acted like a dick when I told him I couldn’t meet him tonight. He has messaged me this morning telling me what a lovely day it is and how he’s going out on his own.

One of my old irons has looked at my profile and it has annoyed me a little, I can’t remember what I called him on here but I went on several dates with him, had MB and then he vanished (stoped messaging me) even though all seemed good when we were together. He must have recognised me from my profile photo but still clicked on it. He had a different profile photo and I stupidly clicked (didn’t realise it was him as he has grown a beard) so now he will see I have nosed at his profile.

Had a message from someone with no profile photo this morning, in the message was a photo of himself, a selfie and on the back of his phone (his phone case) is a photo of his wife and daughter . Won’t be messaging him back.

Im in! Ive looked, read and retreated. Whats the 'meet me' part on PoF? Do I have to pay for that? Ive got nearly 100 who want to meet up! Really?
Ive also had a few messages, most go along the line of 'hi, how are you' 'good morning' but a couple are 'like your bed hair' or 'you are so sexy'. cheeky fucker, that was it just done!
The pic I put up was to show a friend my new highlights and low lights so maybe thats why. Some profiles have made me laugh though which is a bonus.
If anyone wants to look at my profile and sort me out then feel free. I suppose its like everything else, once you do it once (OLD) then it gets easier.

Jax happy to look at your profile. I've looked at a few before. PM me the link.

Jax I'm happy to look too if you want a male POV.

thanks runs and kin I will message you