Dating thread 130: dates with more issues than Vogue - mad March hares every one of 'em

[BeenThereDating]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

I may be talking out of turn kin but to me that it is fairly obvious that she is . You don't get a guy to your home on the second and third date and shag him if you want a relationship . Maybe she is just checking everyone's financial status before she decides who is going to be the lucky guy ?

vet I think it was me who started the kissing on first date - although it wasnt a date, just a drunken snog (oh the shame) it was my first kiss since stbxh and I split and it was nice. I think I just wanted to see what it was like...

Ive not dated anyone since we split and am only now dipping my toe into the dating scene. Scares the bejesus out of me tbh.

kin it sounds like she is playing games. I dont do games either, it sucks.

Kin thought you went out to dinner? So hopefully she isn't multiple dating. Perhaps she really has the hots for you - the financial thing could be that she is making sure you're not after her money - it is certainly something I would want to check out after the one before last but not this early on. Well my F w/o B came in handy this morning - someone broke in - nothing taken but as I'm here 90% on my own, it was very scary.

Val that sounds very scary. Where you there when they broken in? Hope you're ok?

Kin I echo what others have said - she's playing some sort of game. Fine if you want to play along but it's obviously making you uncomfortable so it's possibly time to move on.

Val hope you are ok. He came to your rescue so he must think a lot of you :)

kin Trust that gut of yours! If she starts asking for money, run. Maybe she just wants to make sure you are not going to end up being a cock lodger :)

I have a date tomorrow with Mr Italian. He sent me a few pictures last night, and he was so desperate to show me his wares, but I asked him not to at this stage because I haven't met him yet. He was respectful and didn't although he did share his bulge in his trousers ;p I am going to drive to him, have sushi (I will travel anywhere for sushi, he is about 45 minutes away) and go from there. He also told me today, he goes back to Italy on Friday then returns for two weeks soon...........I am taking this one as it is. Maybe there will be a chance of MB's.

Runs we were asleep in bed and were woken by them popping the door - I don't care about the material things they could have taken - just scared the hell out of me to think I could have been alone.

That sounds very scary Val Good to hear you had someone with you. Look after yourself today

Pud we care a lot about each other - but we can't make it work - far too different and in this case, opposites just can't agree on anything lol

Thoughts please peeps:

So Mr Italian got my spidey sense tingling. Basically on whats app he is with a small baby, so I asked him if it was his and if he was still in a relationship. He said the baby was his, but no not married or in a relationship.

I asked him if he had instagram or facebook: he said no he deleted a year ago. I asked him why, he said because he didn't like people knowing his business.

Anyway, I reverse google imaged one of his tinder (all) and one came up with a hit. Instagram, his profile pic, his name. But private.

I just sent him a screenshot and said "look what just came up as a suggestion of who I might know on instagram. He said its his profile but he deleted the application and the profile stays for year online.......

He's bullshitting isn't he?

pudding sounds like bullshit. Have you put his number in facebook search? That could show if he has a fbook account.

I've just had a message from a 22yr old on Match. Unfortunately he lives about 1.5hrs away or that could've been fun

runs I did, and searched his name too as it comes up on instagram, and nothing on facebook. He said he deactivated his account and doesn't use either. He is saying he is not lying and he will show me tomorrow........hmmmmm.

1.5 hours isn't far! But 22......even that is a bit young for me, i think my bottom line is 28.

pudding then I would just be very very cautious with him.

22yrs old is way too young for me! Still it has put a smile on my face for the rest of the day!

Hope you’re ok Val. That sounds quite scary.

So I’ve just been asked out. Met Mr TV on Bumble. Matched two days ago. Moved to WhatsApp to share photos (bands, nothing rude!). He’s very chatty. Can spell and form a sentence. We have a lot in common and he asks me loads of questions. I’ve played it super cool (Thanks WMLB). I’ve been nice in messages but not replied immediately. Anyway, we are meeting for a drink next week. And I’m really excited!

I think I’m quite choosy about who I actually see. I was asked out by someone the other day and declined as he just didn’t do it for me. But time is quite precious so I don’t want to waste my time. That said maybe it is better to see as many as you can as face to face is by far the best way to get to really know someone.

I have had 2 dates

1. culturally a good fit, really nice guy but I just didn't fancy him which is a shame
2. lovely bloke, miles away, totally miles away but I'm willing to live with that

neither had children

also chatting to 2 other people - both of whom have children. Both seem nice - not connecting on an emotional level but having day to day type of chat

feeling quite optimistic but forcing myself to take it slowly

kin I have found a lot of men have been v explicit about finances with me which makes me think either a lot of women ask or they think it's something that's a positive (not that you can always believe what people say)

pudding can you get a friend to request to follow him? then see if he accepts.

so i spent the night with MrF, our 6th date, have DTD since date 4. his phone pinged and he laughed and said “tinder” ..i didnt say anything but it killed my mood to be honest. later we were chatting and i asked was that really tinder, and he said yes it’ll be someone sending him a message. fair
enough, we arent exclusive but it still hurt a little, ive hid my tinder profile because i cba to multidate.

he said he just goes on it when hes bored, and he doesnt take it seriously, just as a joke. i said if im having sex with someone, j dont think its nice to be also having sex with other people, and he agreed. but i dont know. what do you all think?

we get on so well, have alot in common, have such a laugh and have great sex. i know sex doesnt keep a guy, but he said its the best hes ever had, so why still swiping on tinder? ego boost?

what should i do?

kin it sounds like she's playing games. I don't understand why she's seen you three times but still on OLD but may be that's just me being sensitive and romantic!

esk1mo at least he was honest and said he was still on tinder. But I wouldn't like it. I'm slightly uneasy at multi-dating but once sex is involved then both parties need to delete profiles.
To me it says well I like you enough to get naked with but I'll keep looking in case someone better comes along. I think you need to make it clear that you want to be exclusive and he needs to delete his profile.

TomHardys Mr TV sounds great. Hope it works out. And it's good to hear that Bumble does work. I've never had any success with it.

I must be giving out the right vibes or something because in addition to my two dates this weekend, I've been asked out by two more blokes today. They'll need to form an orderly queue!

It’s my turn now!

bloody wow that is quite a spiel. Clearly again English not his first language ;)

esk1mo least he is honest, maybe he was bringing it up so you could have that chat? All sounds very promising, but I would also (if that is how I felt) say if you were to continue sleeping with him and investing time in him you would like assurance he isn't contacting or sleeping with anyone else. If he doesn't want to, then you have the decision to keep on seeing him?

I have followed him on instagram but he says he deleted the app, and never goes on it, so then he wouldn't see it would he? He has been very insistent he is being truthful, but my radar is on high alert. he evern sent me screen shots of his phone to show facebook and instagram are not on there. I asked him what that would prove?? i could easily delete apps off my phone, doesn't mean I am not using them. I don't know I was looking forward to meeting him.............but I have a very very strong girl code.

Urghh Been fed up with scammers and some are getting more sophisticated than that

Kin there is a saying re people in your life for a season or a reason etc. I would apply to Miss Keen and move on gracefully. She doesnt seem to be the fit that you seem to prefer longer term.

Run Glad the buses are coming along for you.

Very busy here. Taken myself off the sites as couldnt be bothered for the moment. Have a couple of RL possibilities that seem more interesting so exploring them over next while.

pudding You can log in to both FB and IG on the respective websites. You don't need the apps. However if he is cheating, he probably showed you his sex phone and so of course he wouldn't need the apps on there as they'd be on his real phone. You should trust your instinct here.

falcon sex phone? FFS why can people not be upfront and honest these days?

I was chatting to a friend yesterday and she said we are both going on POF.
It made me laugh, I need a sex phone, a new ID, a new email address - not use my own name... anything else Ive forgot?

Lots of people who are cheating use separate phones, not all of course but some. Equally some who aren't cheating will have a separate phone for OLD. I think in this case this guy has a sex phone.

I don''t know if he has a sex phone or not , I think he just doesn't have his apps on his phone (or removed them to prove a point). I asked him to accept my friend request on instagram and then I will know he is telling the truth. I have not invested in him, for me its no hardship if he doesn't in the end want to meet because he can't prove or disprove what i am asking him. He has tinder app on his phone, but I said he could obviously just delete the app when he returns to Italy. Maybe he is telling the truth but one thing i would never do is knowingly go be with a guy who has a girlfriend or wife.