Dating thread 130: dates with more issues than Vogue - mad March hares every one of 'em

[BeenThereDating]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

Pudding I missed Pedro too !!

falcon I used to be much bigger and never had any problems getting dates before I met my ex - though I feel much more self conscious now as I get lots of compliments on how good I look but I’ve only been naked with one person since losing weight and am much more scared bout the deflated balloon that the spanx hides in photos :(

I see winkers in a different light now and shall go throw a few winks about myself lol!!!

It’s really interesting what sites work for what demographics - I’ve had a lot of conversations and dates from pof, lots of conversations but die out very quickly on badoo, tinder and bumble I get nothing off even though I’m close to London - weird!!!

tinder and bumble I get nothing off even though I’m close to London

Tinder is great on the east side of London, POF total rubbish. I've always imagined Guardian Soul Mates to be popular on the west side for some reason, any of you locals able to shed light on that?

kinunir I’m north east of London (I think - I’m northerner so never get my bearings lol)

Tuesday is normally date night but not had one for 6 weeks - hopefully a night out on Saturday may bare fruit - though I much prefer OLD to meeting men in social situations - think I give off a ‘don’t come anywhere near me’ vibe

val just Google ..your post at 17.37

Checked out FabSwingers but seems most men on there are looking for hook-ups/ ONS type things. Will give it another go maybe when I have more time. I deleted my profile for now. Will try another site instead.

Falcon I use ‘adult friends online’ it’s free for women (men have to pay for membership), there’s a mixture of people on there, some are looking for a longtearm FWB, I find people are pretty honest on there unlike POF.

So Mr Camera wants to meet me but he’s off on a skiing holiday at the weekend (for a week), I told him we can sort it out when he gets back. I’m not feeling that keen about meeting him, he sounds really sociable, has lots of friends, has parties at his house and his best friend is a female who he spends a lot of time with. I’m not a very socialble person when it comes to hanging out in groups, I have friends but tend to just meet up with one at a time for a coffee .

Jest realised the guy I met on the other site (who was meant to be a FEB type thing) has a profile on POF, he has been messaging me on and off for weeks but I haven’t had time to meet up with him and I’m not too bothered as MB wasn’t that good.

Kin I have a friend around St Albans area who says Guardian Soul Mates is great. She's in her 50's and gets loads of dates.

love im the same, i dont think i could date a social butterfly, or a party animal. partly because i find they always have to be “busy” and im very laid back, some days i dont even change out my pjs

falcon i know your Q has very much been answered, but i just wanted to add that you dont even have to mention it. do you have any body pics online? im into weightlifting and ive lost count of the number of fit, muscly men that prefer women size 16+

esk1 I’m a busy bee but by 6pm I’m in my pj’s, I’m ok with a meal at a pub with a friend but not a party with lots of people. I think he would find me really boring as I’m happier with my own company.

It's horses for courses in terms of weight. Nobody can be everyone's cup of tea. I'm a very athletic size 8 and tend to get messages from men who are also athletic as it's pretty clear in my profile that that is what I'm looking for. I wouldn't go for an overweight man and in turn I'm not going to be attractive to someone who likes a big bum and boobs, or who likes tiny women as I'm 5'7. I don't think it's an issue though, it's just another way that people narrow down who they're attracted to.

I can't remember who mentioned the first date kissing upthread, sorry. I don't think I've ever kissed anyone on a first date who I didn't already know and fancy beforehand. They're still a stranger on the first date and I don't want to kiss a stranger, I have to get to know them a bit before I can decide if I fancy them or not. I usually know one way or the other around the 3rd date (ish), but I've not actually made it that far with anyone since I started OLD in December!

I'm off work tomorrow and meeting Mr Medic early afternoon, quite looking forward to it. If he's as good looking in real life as he is in his photos I might know before the 3rd date although if that is the case then he probably won't fancy me because life.

Have fun Vet and thanks Love and Smeaton

I'm happy to have a bit of a snog on the second date. I want to know if they can kiss fairly early on in the process.

My weekend is now sorted. Date 3 with Mr Eyes on Friday. Then date 2 with Mr Hat on Sunday.
I'm leaving the day in between just in case I get any other offers .

Falcon Being very nosy and after reading about it on here , I checked out Fab Swingers and got contacted by a driver of a Wikinson's lorry who was delivering stuff to the local Wilko a couple of nights a week - words cannot express my delight at this . Dear God......

Sick face rather than envy Bloody

I know what I want. I want the 1-1 of a relationship but I don't want to have to think about the future. I just want to have fun. It sounds perfectly sensible to me but seemingly I'm at a table for one when it comes to finding a man interested in the same.

Thanks Vet needed to read your comment there before I went and deleted my skinny ass off all dating sites :)

So, just back from seeing Miss Keen again and a triple platter of mooseburgers was enjoyed but... that's all she seems to want. Any time I suggest going out, she counters by saying we can just chill out at hers.

Ideal for some men I guess, but not quite what I was hoping for.

I'm also a bit perturbed by her asking about finances. Probably innocent but I'm extremely wary about that line of questioning after the last one.

Go Vet and Runs! Glad you guys advised me on my profile coz yours are obviously working for you!

Welcome to all the new OLDers

Kin sounds like you've spotted some red flags.

It's strange to not want to be seen in public with you Kinunir. Is she seeing others?

Judging by all the OLD notifications coming through on her phone, I'd say that's highly likely Falcon.

Obviously I don't know your story but at a guess, I wouldn't be surprised if that has something to do with it. Guessing it's v early days for you but she's also asking about your finances?? Wow.

Kin it would really piss me off if a date constantly had POF messages flashing on the phone. It's just plain rude to have your phone visible like that. Does she read them when you're there or ignore them? Either she's playing a treat 'em mean keep 'em keen game to reel you in. Tell her it bothers you and see what she says or just move on.

As for questions about finances those come later on down the line
although I do like to establish home ownership and whether or not the mortgage is paid off quite early on! For me there's no right answer but it gives me another piece of info for my mosaic of him.

As for not wanting to go out maybe she can't afford it or she really fancies you and just wants to be physically close all the time. I'm like that. I can go out any night of the week so if I have time with my man I prefer to spend it with him naked.

Been She never reads the messages in my presence but the last couple of times I've seen her, she's placed her phone in a position where I can easily see it - I'm wondering if she's playing a jealousy game with me? I myself never play games and I don't do jealousy so I ignore.

I kind of get why finances would be of interest but, after Miss Intellectual, I do wonder what the real motive for asking is.

Of course I don't mind the physical side - it's very important after all - but I am beginning to wonder if that's all she wants?