Dating thread 130: dates with more issues than Vogue - mad March hares every one of 'em

[BeenThereDating]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

No, you’re not Ginny You take as long as you like. I was nowhere near ready with MrMr; even if I’d had the RH I reckon I’d still have needed a few more dates, so it’d probably have been a good 6 weeks.
If it’s the right guy/right relationship they’ll be happy to wait. Gagging, of course, but your being comfortable will be more important than their getting laid a few weeks sooner.

Ginny despite my recent history, I’m typically happy to wait for a while and I think most other men would be too. Just make it clear that you want to get to know someone for x amount of time before getting intimate and I’m sure the unsuitable ones will get the message and a decent one will hang around.

That said, I have a new iron. I’ll call her Miss Keen and say no more

It may be two months or one month for you, ginny but for me it's more about how much time I've spent in contact with that person, which will vary depending on how busy we both are, and how much we chat on the phone or have a chance to meet in person.

You could have three or four hour long dates with someone in the space of two months, with very little communication between them, or you could virtually live in each other's pocket for that time. It really depends how much child free time you've both got to focus on each other.

Hello. Checking in to the new thread. I had a meh date, and I've got a first date tentatively scheduled for next week, but I'm not really feeling it for anyone at the moment, with the weather being shite and having to do work trips to countries I would never ever want to go to if I had the choice. Dating isn't really top of my mind at the moment

Thanks Cover. I am both desperate and terrified in equal measure. And the snow is doing nothing to cool either. In fact, I think I'm going a bit stir crazy. Need to get out and about.

Sadik Boooo to the foreshortened birthday visit. Let's hope the rain melts the snow asap at the w/e (can you tell I'm over 45 . What cake did you make in the end?

Definitely not lame Ginny, it takes me a while to get to know someone and decide if I fancy them too. Not talking two years like but even to get to the point where I feel comfortable to snog someone usually takes 2-3 meetings. It's never been an issue with anyone I've dated, if it was then they're not for me!

Not dating related but I hope everyone is safe in the snow. It is crazy here! I'm in the red zone and we went from a light dusting this morning to foot-high drifts in a few hours this afternoon. The beach was covered 4-5 inches deep right down to the water line - more now as it hasn't let up since I walked down there at about 4pm. It's been non-stop powdery snow and high winds - one side of my car is almost completely covered by spindrift.

It’s been a bit rubbish here, snow-wise.
And I could do with a snow day; I need to catch up with at least 3 seasons of Ru Paul’s Drag Race, possibly 4.

Kin your recent history shows you to be more than patient. I remember you saying you'd seen Miss I for several months and had clearly had lots of contact. It was her 2 year demand I thought was pretty excessive. Miss Keen sounds more promising!

Yes, I agree with you, Bant, about time - quantity and quality, really. This time of year is always a struggle.

My new job begins soon. I'm using that start date as an artificial boundary for 'onwards and upwards'. And hoping to embrace the free associated gym membership with the same enthusiasm . God helps us all.

Thanks Vet.

Our worst day was Tuesday - very powdery snow blizzards - tomorrow's not looking good either, but I think not as bad as your area.

Hope your dog is not like my last one who required 2 -3 hours just to get mildly fatigued!

I meant to write 'god help us all' not 'god helps us all'. Slightly different vibe.

I wimped out on cake Ginny - went for red wine, chocolate and a book, all of which seemed to go down well :)

at God helps us all

Evening all, Glad you had a nice afternoon Pud , with you on the cold thing Covermuch walking in snow today has left me shattered! It's hard work out there.
But finished my book last night, getting irritated with couple of irons I'm talking to as they are so needy, I don't know you so don't look for sympathy for all your ailments, expect to message me all day or want to chat for an hour on the phone, I would rather have a bath!
Not sure why I'm so grumpy? I don't mind the snow and kids are being lovely, think I am still cross with myself for missing the opportunity with the one I met in the pub, how irrational is that, I don't know him either but would happily chat to him for an hour!
Think I better just lurk tonight, miserable sod :)

@Margo, but they are! XD honestly I don't know how you all do it when men are your only choice! No offence @kin ;)
@pud, I think that's called 4chan...

None taken kitten

Think I need to.join you all over here. Having a rubbish time of it on Tinder and need to sort out a pof profile really but I've been on there before and literally don't have the energy for it at the moment!
I'm fed up with men being full-on chatty one minute and then literally disappearing the next. Am I the only one who then scours the message history to see what/if I said anything offensive or wrong.
Aargghhh, need to be tougher but god this is hard work.

change - I'm blessed with a naturally thick skin, but I've also perfected the thought process of: I'm going to be myself - any weird, strange or rude behaviour is about them, and I'm not going to spend any of my time worrying about it. If they randomly disappear, then its a bullet dodged because clearly we were going to be incompatible on some level!

You are right anitt. I need to stop thinking it's me all the time. It's so hard though. I joined Tinder a few weeks ago, swipe left much more than I do right.... have had 2 dates in the last couple of weeks and many more chats started but it's not amounting to much and I get easily bored of it. I'm determined this time to give it a few months though!

Mr POF has given me his number - wants me ring him - love his photos and seem to have a lot in common BUT doesn't drive after a very bad car accident - lives about 20 miles away - says he uses trains and taxis - what to do?

Give him a call :) val

I'm not a good lurker

Evening all, hope the snow isn’t making you all too stir crazy..
I battled into work today for absolutely no reason at all..
No new irons at all Tinder is just a hot mess of hi viz, bed shots, way too close selfies and general time wasters!
Maybe all the good men hibernate?

Val how much do you want to be a taxi IF it works out? I know it wouldn't work for me.

Anitt that's the only way to get through OLD. It's not just a mindset that it's them not you but it needs to be a core belief. It sinks in after a few slip ups.

Eating jeez - what a deplorable git. The good news (yes, there's good news) is your twat radar worked AND you called him on it. Many wouldn't...

Ginny you go at your pace. Your pace is part of the compatibility test...

To everyone else hello!

I'm watching the solution to OLD hell guys - it's 'scientific' which means it can be blindly trusted... Married At First Sight. Sorted.

Sad when he says he's 250km from Moscow is he trying to make Siberia sound tempting and close to all the action?

I couldn't do a non-driver either, would be an absolute no go for me.

I watched one episode of that show Been; I think they're all insane.

Just got off the phone - been chatting to Mr POF for nearly an hour. I'm 60 and he is 64 - normal age gap for me but he sounded so old!!! I feel I'm still 20 ( well perhaps 30 ish) . Have to be honest, after 10 minutes I put my phone on speaker and was half reading a book! Please tell me there are some men out there who are young at heart - might have to break a habit of a life time and go for a younger one - just to get on the same wavelength - I'm not ready to slide into old age !!!