I'm 35 today I've realised my marriage is over

[mammymammyIRL]

Dh emotionally abuses me.
He shouted at me & shoved me in front of our four year old ds for the last time on Sunday morning.
I don't want my 7 year old dd growing up seeing her parents not getting along
I don't want them to think Daddy's getting cross with Mammy is normal or ok

I can't do the rest of my life living like this.

I, for one am a follower of yours mammy, I have you on my 'watch' list, not that doesn't sound creepy at all, does it 🙄.

I admire how positive you are and how far you have come. You should be so proud of yourself and your children.

Much love xxx

Thanks mummy

Wow mammy, is he living in a different world? As if he would stick to that, lol!

I hope he reels his neck in lass.

He text yesterday morning about dds horse riding so I asked him why he wanted to know & he asked can you take it because he wasn't around.
I got my chance to message about arrangements then. He lied about times they come home at from his etc so I pulled him on it. then he got ratty, then he said you tell me when I can see them & we'll see, I said no discuss it reasonably with me, he asked what I suggested. So I suggested 2 set evenings each per week & every second fri/sat/sun, he said we can try that out. I asked him to choose which two days & if he'd like to start with fri/sat/sun & what time pick up was this sat & return on sun, only response was pick up at 4.30 sat & nothing else it's a small bit of progress I suppose.

He put it €153 less into joint account for last week with no explanation as to why. I'll have to keep a tight watch on spending to ensure we can meet the bills.

He really is in arse mode. Well done you Mammy on not losing it with him.

I want to say everything diplomatically by text so I've proof of conversations

That's a very good idea, maybe also take screen shots and email to yourself. He's just trying his hardest to exert control over you. Asshole.

Mammy you’re handling things really well. Make sure to mind yourself too

Already done @Apileofballyhoo 
Will do @notWORKzilla, they're heading away this evening at 4.30, I've a bath, nice dinner, movie planned after some decluttering

Rushed home to be here for 4.30pm, he won't be here for at least another hour. Said he never said 4.30, I have it in a text. Doesn't matter to be at all today but he didn't know that I'd no plans to go anywhere but it's not fair on dc plus we rushed through what we were doing in town and there was absolutely no need.

He’s a real piece of work isn’t he!

Yep, turned up at 7pm, mocked the dc for having suitcases (their choice, not mine) and was pigheaded when I asked what time they'd be home tomo, as if I didn't have any right to ask.

Are you going for any counselling or anything, Mammy? Just wondering what the best way is to talk to the DC about him. Have a look at AleC and onitlikeacarbonnet threads. There's a balance between not bad mouthing him and letting them know you disagree with him being unfair to them. But I'm sure it's very hard to find the balance.

He's being a nasty piece of work.

Not yet ballyhoo but I'm not ruling it out though. There's a course for dc starting on mon for 9 weeks but it's on same thing as activities they have so I'll wait until next time it's offered I think. Will look at those threads thanks

Yes mrsmozart he really is.

Had a nice time last night, catching up with a friend by phone, catching up on the soaps etc

Hope last night and today went ok for you and DC @mammynowanauntyIRL .
His behaviour really is disgraceful.

@Thatsnotmybookworm tried to get him to commit to which two days & if he wanted to start every second weekend next fri or not. After a few text exchanges he said what happened to unlimited access you promised? I said unlimited access was never discussed, what was said was that I wouldn't stop you seeing our dc. I said we can figure this out fairly between us or we can go through solicitors and court, if you want to wait until after you've brought them back this evening to finish discussing this so as not to take up your time with them that's fine too.

I've just had a lovely nap, today I cleared out some of his things from kitchen, putting his stuff into his wardrobe & any stuff that needs dividing up or decisions on in a separate spot. Also cleaned the fish tank he had left festering for 8 months in sitting room not envy

Poor DC. You are doing ace mammy. He's doing his best to twist everything isn't he.

Good plan on starting to clear him or of the house. Even if you sell he still needs his stuff to live away and will reinforce the permeant message

@lifelongfrugaleer he took his clothes & wash things & one photo collage of his ancestors none of his clutter at all. So nothing that takes effort to sort.

When dropping off dc he said are you taking them to tomorrow's activities or am I? I said what do you want to do he said I will, grand so I said. Then he tells them to have homework and dinner done before he picks them up, totally impractical as they need to go as soon as I get in from work & he knows this!

I'll wait until dc go to bed & then message him that he takes the entire evening Monday or not at all.

I actually read that post on another thread & I do feel I have support but there's no one can do this practical day to day stuff except me, no-one can deal with that prat (or another word beginning with pr) except me and sometimes that's overwhelming, naps help with that! And my running will help too when I get fitter.