So I've slept a bit now and have woken up with my brain tossing things around so said I might as well update here.
H showed up at court yesterday and glared at me across the room for first hour, then we got put on list for after lunch.
When we got put back again until later he approached me to know could we talk. I said ok. He said could we not sort this out without going through all this, I'll accept safety order & move out by Sunday if you get me €5000 or even €2000 to make new place habitable, I replied with you expect me to pay you for your bad behaviour, we're here because of both of us, he replied & even squeezed out a tear! I said no we're here because you assaulted me, your poor behaviour not mine. Then he changed tactics & said all I want is to be able to see the dc. I said I never ever said you couldn't, it was you that said what makes you think they'll be with you anyway. Then he says I was going to I don't think you can handle ds, I said ds is mirroring bad behaviour he sees you doing, I'll be fine with ds, this is when he really got angry. He said I'll move out and continue paying mortgage & if anything needs fixing just tell me and I'll do it you don't even need to be in the house when I do. This is a laughing matter because there are three things that I've bought the replacement parts for & he hasn't fixed & that's while he's still living here 
I said no I won't walk away from today's court it needs to go ahead, because I knew these promises of moving out, leaving me alone etc would vanish into thin air minute I did.
I spoke to my solicitor and she approached his and after discussion with his solicitor and between our solicitors, mine came back with he would accept 12 month safety order without me going on the stand again in front of judge, he will move out asap, continue paying mortgage until house is sold, separation will be agreed within those 12 months and that I will facilitate him seeing the dc.
All I ever wanted in the years since ds was born was for H to be a dad to them, do his fair share with them & it's only now that we're separating that he's starting to do this. I hope for dcs sake that he keeps this up. I will allow it initially in the family home until he has his living arrangements sorted.
Next step now is to tell dc & help them through their upset. I think I'll contact school headmaster today just to put him in the picture.
Will see if my solicitor emails me today too
Must get house valued too.