I'm 35 today I've realised my marriage is over

[mammymammyIRL]

Dh emotionally abuses me.
He shouted at me & shoved me in front of our four year old ds for the last time on Sunday morning.
I don't want my 7 year old dd growing up seeing her parents not getting along
I don't want them to think Daddy's getting cross with Mammy is normal or ok

I can't do the rest of my life living like this.

In the uk it's 20% of your income.

We know we're on different sides of the fence so we didn't discuss it any further

It's great that your parents have offered financial help. Just a word though in case they offer further help - I was advised years ago when I initiated divorce proceedings and took my parents with me to the solicitor for moral support, not to let parents' money muddy the waters before the financials have been sorted out. Until we divorced I paid most things myself and they helped with cash or groceries and they helped me a bit more with house stuff after it was all finalised.

Thanks will keep that in mind, just knowing they'll support me to get out of my marriage is worth more than the money itself.

I know what you mean Mammy - if I had known they would be as supportive as they were - emotionally and financially - I might have been encouraged to leave 8 years sooner, when he had an affair. Hindsight eh?

It's taken mine six months to get to this stage

Mediation has been terminated by the mediator, he shouted over her & wouldn't let her speak so she ended it.

Well that wont look good in court surely?.

Validation for you too.

Definitely fluffy 6 months wasted but at least I'm proven right

Appointment made with solicitor my friend used for her divorce for week after next.

Onwards and upwards Mammy!

Well you thought you'd end up doing this! I know it's not fun and expensive but I would cut him absolutely no slack about the houses now...everything needs to go into the pot.

I hope the mediator can give your solicitor some of the unreasonable behaviour as a showcase!

Also let the lawyers play the games instead of engaging with him about the divorce.....stay strong you are heading in the right direction

Iwillgetout that's exactly my plan I tried to do it fairly & he fucked it up so it's going to be done properly now

Good luck with everything. You have tried your best so moving forward with a clear conscience on your part .

Weenurse that's exactly it.

This weekend is my first weekend ever home alone!

The silence will be liberating.

Hope you're enjoying your weekend mammy

Beupstanding
It's actually been good. I think I'd a happy balance of doing things with friends & spending time alone at home too.

Fri night-ate out with friends & had a couple of drinks(not drank since beg of jan, didn't enjoy how I felt after so won't be repeating)
Sat - walked to collect my car, and later went for a walk with my friend, did chores & then went for lunch with another friend before coming home to dinner & movie in my jammies
This morning, stayed in bed late & getting up now to have a lazy breakfast over the paper, order grocery shopping for delivery tomo and then do some chores before h & dc arrive home

Just read your entire thread mammy & wanted to add my voice of support. You sound amazingly strong (& patient!) & I hope you get the outcome you deserve. for you.

Thanks for reading entire thread @HannahnotAgnes I'm just trying to minimise the impact on my DC's lives

I can totally appreciate that - you're doing a great job.

Thanks x

Just read your thread mammy.
I knew that you were separating from your h from the other thread, just wanted to say you are doing such a great job of holding it together for you and your dcs, I don't know how you are managing to remain so calm!
Glad you enjoyed your time alone.

Take care x

Thanks curvy that means a lot that you read my thread.
I'm staying calm because I'm determined to come out of this with my dignity intact & without giving anyone cause to point the finger of blame at me.
First solicitor appointment is Tuesday 4th sept and things will get interesting from then when he gets a letter kickstarting the process.