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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Met a guy, do I message him or not?

261 replies

paleontologist22 · 25/02/2018 23:00

Early last week I had an overnight stay at a hotel in town due to a works event. In the residents bar at night, I got chatting to a guy who was also there on work. We hit it off and got on like a house on fire. Around 4am he said he had to get some sleep as had to be up early. I said bye to him but he said he would see me at breakfast and maybe we could swap phone numbers then and keep in touch. I ended up sleeping straight through breakfast and therefore never saw him again.

Now I know his full name, and I've found him on social media (yes I googled him!). Would it be really stalkerish of me to send him a quick message? Just to say something like oh thanks for keeping us company, let me know if you're ever in this part of the country again?

Or do I just leave it and forget about him? I mean he was just a guy. And he actually lives in another country so I don't think anything would ever really happen but I just haven't been able to stop thinking about him and how well we got on or even how attracted I was to him!

OP posts:
GottadoitGottadoit · 26/02/2018 22:57

Thank god you sent the message, in the circumstances you've described I think it would actually be rude not to!

bonfireheart · 27/02/2018 00:23

Did you hear back OP?

heron98 · 27/02/2018 09:37

I absolutely would. What have you got to lose? He might not reply but then again he might.

One thing though, if you're not friends with him on FB the message may well go to the "other" inbox that no one ever checks. So maybe send him a friend request first.

paleontologist22 · 27/02/2018 09:45

Sorry to say I haven't heard back from him. The message has one tick (delivered) but that's it.

Safe to say I think it'll be stuck in the 'other' inbox for a long time!

OP posts:
sportyfool · 27/02/2018 09:53

Send him a friend request . You have nothing to lose .

Purpleknickers · 27/02/2018 10:03

Facebook have changed it now so people get a notification saying XX wants to connect with you

Heartofglass12345 · 27/02/2018 10:05

Not always, i found another hidden message request folder that had really old messages in it before Confused

Heartofglass12345 · 27/02/2018 10:06

I really want him to read it Grin

Perfectnight · 27/02/2018 10:46

They have got rid of the ‘other’ folder.

sportyfool · 27/02/2018 11:08

Just this morning someone said they messaged me who I'm not friends with and I couldn't read it until I sent them a message .

ALittleBitConfused1 · 27/02/2018 11:29

If i get a message from someone im.not connected with my messenger asks me to accept the request before I can read the message.
I don't always get a notification but I click on messages it shows me 1 message to accept. I suppose it depends on whether you check it or not. I really want him to read it.Smile

GottadoitGottadoit · 27/02/2018 14:26

Send a friend request!

loveyoutothemoon · 27/02/2018 14:28

Friend request!

Afterthestorm · 27/02/2018 14:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

paleontologist22 · 27/02/2018 18:41

Sorry guys I've been at work battling the snow most of the day!

It doesn't allow me to send a request. Think it's because we don't have any mutual friends.

He'll just read it when he reads it now.. 1 week, 1 month, 1 year, who knows?!

OP posts:
loveyoutothemoon · 27/02/2018 19:53

Does he have a phone number showing on his profile?

Lizzie48 · 27/02/2018 20:20

It's a pity you can't add him, but my Facebook account doesn't allow people to add me as a friend if we don't have any mutual friends. Does the Facebook info include an email address? That can be a little less pushy than a text message.

paleontologist22 · 27/02/2018 20:27

Oh god no, I was gutsy enough to send a simple message but nothing else! Confused

OP posts:
Bloomed · 27/02/2018 20:33

Can you work out his work email/find him on linkedin?

paleontologist22 · 27/02/2018 20:37

@bloomed in all honesty, I don't think I want to go that far! A Facebook message is ok, but then to go other avenues of getting in touch would make me feel uncomfortable if it was the other way around! Blush

OP posts:
bobstersmum · 27/02/2018 21:18

Just read all of this and I really hope he reads your message!

anxiousnow · 27/02/2018 22:09

Does his profile give you the option to wave?

Dontletthebastardsgrindyoudown · 27/02/2018 22:12

Did you add him on messenger too? I recently bought something on a selling page and I sent a message to seller, they weren't reading it and then I noticed I could also 'add in messenger' once I'd clicked that it sent another type of request and I got a reply Smile

paleontologist22 · 27/02/2018 22:26

@Dontletthebastardsgrindyoudown would it not be weird that I sent him a message yesterday and then added him the day after? I only met the guy once, don't want him to think I'm some kind of weirdo stalker girl!

OP posts:
Sally2791 · 27/02/2018 22:30

Do it! Otherwise you will never know...

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