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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Met a guy, do I message him or not?

261 replies

paleontologist22 · 25/02/2018 23:00

Early last week I had an overnight stay at a hotel in town due to a works event. In the residents bar at night, I got chatting to a guy who was also there on work. We hit it off and got on like a house on fire. Around 4am he said he had to get some sleep as had to be up early. I said bye to him but he said he would see me at breakfast and maybe we could swap phone numbers then and keep in touch. I ended up sleeping straight through breakfast and therefore never saw him again.

Now I know his full name, and I've found him on social media (yes I googled him!). Would it be really stalkerish of me to send him a quick message? Just to say something like oh thanks for keeping us company, let me know if you're ever in this part of the country again?

Or do I just leave it and forget about him? I mean he was just a guy. And he actually lives in another country so I don't think anything would ever really happen but I just haven't been able to stop thinking about him and how well we got on or even how attracted I was to him!

OP posts:
Trills · 26/02/2018 10:33

He is not going to find you.

You didn't show up for breakfast, he's going to take the hint and not chase you.

So it's up to you to do something, if you want anything to happen.

StarlightSparkle · 26/02/2018 10:42

I would and I did!

It didn’t lead to anything in the end but I was still glad I did as otherwise it would have played on my mind that I could have let someone perfect slip away!

paleontologist22 · 26/02/2018 12:07

Oh god I'd really talked myself out of it and gone to sleep!

OP posts:
paleontologist22 · 26/02/2018 12:07

I'm at work so I'll think about messaging him later on. Again I'm not looking for a relationship but another friend wouldn't be too bad!

OP posts:
Vitalogy · 26/02/2018 15:32

Any good OP?

Shayelle · 26/02/2018 16:32

1000000% message him!! And report back Grin

MrsJoshDun · 26/02/2018 16:36

Just send him a message saying sorry for missing breakfast, explaining that you overslept and didn’t want him to think you’d been rude.

Nothing wrong with that.....then see what happens.

paleontologist22 · 26/02/2018 17:46

I sent him a message through Facebook, it's got one tick assuming that means delivered but not read? Not sure how often he may use Facebook anyway but it's gone now!

OP posts:
Confusad · 26/02/2018 18:42

I think you’ve done the right thing, at least now he’ll know why you didn’t show for breakfast!

Vitalogy · 26/02/2018 18:55

Good luck.

TheWickerWoman · 26/02/2018 18:59

I bet he’ll be pleased to hear from you as he probably thought you’d changed your mind not turning up to breakfast.

7am! Holy shit, that’s one hell of an all nighter without a drink

sportyfool · 26/02/2018 19:04

You arranged to meet at breakfast and essentially stood him up . Message him . You will be able to tell by his reply if he is keen or not .

overnightangel · 26/02/2018 19:06

Did the right thing messaging him, good luck!

EarlGreyPlea · 26/02/2018 19:42

I’m not normally a fan of making a move on men in this sort of situation, but in this one... honestly, I would, and I think you should too.

EarlGreyPlea · 26/02/2018 19:43

Just seen you’ve already done it - great! Fingers crossed for you.

Perfectnight · 26/02/2018 19:50

Do a friend request as well.

Awakeupnorth · 26/02/2018 19:53

I was going to say isn't that what LinkedIn is for, but I see you've messaged him on Facebook.

Cricrichan · 26/02/2018 20:05

Do a friend request too as messages often get stuck in the 'other' folder. I've not seen emssges from friends for years as I didn't even know that folder existed and can only access it through a laptop

paleontologist22 · 26/02/2018 20:45

Hmm I just looked on his Facebook and I'm not able to add him. May be because we don't have any mutual friends? I know my FB is set that way. Aah well I've sent the message now, he may see it, may not!

OP posts:
user1492877024 · 26/02/2018 21:12

I'm guessing he's married. Sorry.

MrsJoshDun · 26/02/2018 21:15

I now get notifications of a non friend sends me a message. I think fb did something recently to try and prevent stuff going unnoticed for years in the others folder. So he should see it.

Thebluedog · 26/02/2018 21:21

Well done OP Grin

donerwillbehere · 26/02/2018 21:22

I am so pleased you messaged him !!! I m so excited 😆 well done 👍

paleontologist22 · 26/02/2018 22:17

Haha thanks @donerwillbehere I'm not holding out any hope for a message back but I'm proud of myself for being gutsy enough to even send the message! 💪🏼

OP posts:
SuperSkyRocketing · 26/02/2018 22:34

Well done OP! Keep us updated. Keeping fingers crossed that you get a reply Grin

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