NC Dignity Club part 7: always wear your invisible crown

[Belonger]

A thread for anyone wanting support with going or staying in No Contact. No judgement, just lots of support. Warning: this thread can seriously increase your willpower and self esteem!

Recommend also visiting website from Natalie Lue, Baggage Reclaim, or reading her book The No Contact Rule.

Love that there's no judgement on this page. Staying classy means so much to me. When he thinks of me I want him to think strong woman.

Love the straight talking straight from the heart seshi! Yes, we're classy chicks; that's for sure!!

Fuck 'em.

The biologist is not a sod. I still think he's genuine, I truly do. But that doesn't mean he's not been blinded by his hormones and willing to cheat on his wife.

I get so pissed off at how I alway love hearing their sweet talking, their earnest feelings but I have this shield, called cynicism, which may prevent me at times from opening up but it often protects me from falling way too deep.

He really wants me to open up to him; to find out why I've suffered so much in the past. I just don't want to share that with him because even if his intentions were sincere I'd be opening myself up to being vulnerable. Never give them the rope to hang you with... is that the right expression? I've been living away from UK for far too long to remember everything.

@nk you are strong...! You rock... Remember that

Yes, I love that thought of them seeing us as strong. I'm not going to open up to a man until I truly feel I can trust him.

That's not going to happen any time soon.

My NC in July during an amazing night at a hotel asked me to open up to him about lots of things. I truly didn't feel any better for it.

Maybe your instinct is about something good happening to you NK.

@belonger how are you doing this evening?

Thanks so much Seshi.

It would be nice to have something nice happening Getting. I have that anxious feeling like I'm getting ready to meet him. I'm going out tonight but there's not a chance he will be there. Our world's are so far apart. But that's what it feels like. Butterflies before meeting him.

We are all strong on here. Just because someone messages their NC doesn't mean they are any weaker. They are strong coming on here and admitting it

I'd love an amazing night in a hotel with my NC. So immoral to admit that but I would. Don't worry I won't do it, just being honest.

You get a for being honest NK.

@nk me too... I still long for him even though he has treated me so badly

I've just remembered my last meeting with the 'notaire' over a week ago, (remember the infamous 'I would have loved to have been beaten by you' meeting). We were talking about a money transfer and I said to him 'just let me know when I need to give you my 'phone number...er, I mean account number'.

A Freudian slip if ever I heard one.

Ha ha ha Getting you have a few romantic interests. I'm picturing you as a very elegant lady!

You're too kind NK. My point was that the subconscious and our body language often betray us.

So, are you going anywhere nice NK?

Gosh lots of us feeling crap today..
I'm not that bad today actually and realised today is 1st time in ages I didn't stalk NCs WhatsApp first thing in the morning...ill get to the point of indifference one day...

Wow these threads move so quickly to try and keep up.

What a mess I've been the last two days after messaging him Thursday. Drank far, far too much as well so I'm going to take a break from the booze for a while, it's not helping and I'd worry I'm heading down the self destruct route which I know I have reacted in that way in the past.

Exh came and sat with me last night. He thinks I'm upset about breaking up with my exgf last year, I can't really tell him who it actually is as they know each other - not well but a small town.

Feeling a bit more settled today. I have to let him go in that way and move on with my life. It's the loneliness that is killing me though. I have great friends but it's not the same and by God how I miss sex I even had a moment of madness that I could ask exh for a shag but I think my life is complicated enough

LittleGidding I miss the sex too. Last year was an altogether different experience but since my dad passed away in autumn I've just closed in on myself.

Hi all

Been out all day and trying to catch up! Loving the support on this fab thread

I do that too gettibg, close in on myself when I'm struggling with something. In fact that's the reason NC and I broke up way back. I was having a really hard time and then a family member died suddenly. I freaked out and ended it, pushing people away as per as I couldn't handle a relationship too. Yeah, regret that massively now although I care about him so much more than I did back then.

Oh gosh, that's exactly LittleGidding. Without going into detail last year I was having quite a bit of fun in that department and then my emotions were so raw after my dad died and I started wanting more from my NC man (possibly a replacement man to look up to after my amazing dad was no longer there) and it just seemed easier to close in on myself rather than open up and admit to feeling vulnerable. It seems obvious that sex would be the first thing to go in such moments because you're truly opening yourself up to someone in that case.

But I still miss it.

Closing in on yourself is akin to animal instinct when pain is involved, I think.

oldbrook yes start from the start from today. Not easy though is it? Even though we both took control and brought an end to things. It doesn’t feel good. It’s that flat feeling. A sense of loss. Even though it’s the right thing to do. Annoyed with myself for giving too much and annoyed at him for lapping it up with not that much returned.

Let's face it Rhubarb, it can be boring doing the right thing sometimes.

That’s so true ‘getting*. It leaves a gap to be filled.