NC Dignity Club part 7: always wear your invisible crown

[Belonger]

A thread for anyone wanting support with going or staying in No Contact. No judgement, just lots of support. Warning: this thread can seriously increase your willpower and self esteem!

Recommend also visiting website from Natalie Lue, Baggage Reclaim, or reading her book The No Contact Rule.

Watched a clip from this TED talk on FB earlier and it reminded me of the film Inside Out, which shows that sadness has an important role to play in dealing with our pain. This video is about 16 mins long, but well worth a watch when you have the time.

TED talk

I've been distracting myself on POF to avoid dealing with the pain of separation, but I realise now that I need to feel the grief and deal with the impact of both the relationship and the end of it. Hope it helps some of you too.

Thank you MyRelationship for this TED talk link. It was really interesting and I passed it on to my eldest daughter who is terribly good at saying 'I'm fine' when really she isn't.

Bloody, it is fucked up. I stopped being able to cry for a long time. Like I had run out of tears. Horrible.

Seshi it is so good to let it out. You are poorly as well so please be kind to yourself.
Myrelationship thanks for link. Will watch later. Is it the same addictive POF guy?
Today is ridiculous here. Nothing to do with NC's. Just juggling everything and everything going wrong and book day haha. Although it keeps my mind busy i also miss the little texts of support from either NC really that gives you that littke puck up when day is hard. Do any of you female like some of friends always had to have had a harder day. One in particular I feel like saying i have listened to how hard your day has been for years can I just have one day a year. It sounds stupid. Anyway, I am ok and will be ok as will we all.

NK.. I don't know. You are separated and it isn't as if your NC is going to move in tomorrow so not tasteless to tell him. But will it add pressure to you though? He will probably need some time to absorb it so would that upset you if he doesn't initially jump for joy upon your news? Have you ever had any 'what if' conversations about the possibility of you becoming available?

Bloody!! I mean it is not fucked up

I am sorry my message doesn't make sense.

Got it anxious !

Thanks for the link myrelationship - watched it and then of course saw another - I don't know how to link it properly

www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_how_to_fix_a_broken_heart

Yup we are all doing what we shouldn't

Loved the Ted talk... Thank you... @anxious I have a friend like that who always has to have the big dramas... To be honest it's another reason I love this thread because I can rant, cry or be pathetic on here and no one judges or cares... We are quite literally in it together! @oldbrook well done for entering new NC territory

Anxious sorry you've had a bad day. Any thing you want support with on here? I had the worst day yesterday and am glad I wasn't in contact with NC as I learnt I can get by without him. Which is good.

We've had no 'what if' discussions. I have no idea what he thinks of me beyond physical attraction. But I'll be proceeding with the separation with or without him. I think I'll drop it in casually about mediation and let him process it.

Oldbrook well done. I'd say it will be sinking in with him that it is different this time. I've no idea what my NC is this time. I'm in unchartered territory with the separation and I'm terrified

Is it the same addictive POF guy? yes, same one with the dreamy eyes that I could get lost in even though I've only seen two photos of this guy! I came down this morning and told myself I'd wait til lunchtime to check my messages. Then thought "I'll just have a quick peek now, just in case as he was on at 9.30am yesterday". Luckily my laptop conspired against me and was flat, so I had to charge it this morning! Now compulsively checking every half hour. Need to knock it on the head and deal with the real issues here.

@Bloody loved that talk... :"" you can fight and you will heal... "

Just read this

Beautiful seshi - just what we need xx

Beautiful seshi - just what we need xx

That's lovely Seshi thanks

I'm feeling philosophical at the moment. I don't know what is around the corner but I believe life will be better

We've got through another day ladies... @oldbrook hope today is good for you... If any of us wakes up in the middle of the night like I do so often... Post!!!

Oldbrook well done on day 14! You do sound so much stronger. How is exH being? The snow is beautiful but we just can't seem to handle it here. My kids are hoping for a massive snow storm on Friday.

NK, you did survive yesterday without NC Please remember about him placing you higher than the mother of his children. How is stbexH being today? Calmer I hope. Glad he was reasonable about the job issue. I will be ok, you know typical busy doing everything with external factors adding to the stress. My Dad being one of them. Thanks for offer.

Seshi thanks for great quote.

However sad embarrased or pathetic we may feel about a decision, action or feeling, no one in this thread will judge and we will understand. I really hope everyone knows that and feels they can admit to something if they want help advice etc about it.

An embarrassing confession. I bought a Giffgaff sim a while ago to bung in an old phone purely for stalking just to see if it was true NC has lost his WhatsApp or if i was just blocked. He was telling the truth but how stalkery is that.

@anxious now you have given me ideas... 😂

anxious