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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

NC Dignity Club part 7: always wear your invisible crown

999 replies

Belonger · 23/02/2018 15:09

A thread for anyone wanting support with going or staying in No Contact. No judgement, just lots of support. Warning: this thread can seriously increase your willpower and self esteem!

Recommend also visiting website from Natalie Lue, Baggage Reclaim, or reading her book The No Contact Rule.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
MyRelationshipIsWeird · 27/02/2018 23:50

Good point, I don't want to end up relying on someone else either. But I do need a hug and a snog. His profile said Free Hugs :) and he's 6 foot, so I can just imagine snuggling into a warm armpit!

anxiousnow · 27/02/2018 23:52

myrelationship ok tell me he has big strong arms and tatts and I'm hooked too Wink

anxiousnow · 27/02/2018 23:56

@plushsuppie321 how are you doing?

anxiousnow · 27/02/2018 23:57

Myrelationship thinking of my NC's hugs now too. Addictive

MyRelationshipIsWeird · 28/02/2018 00:02

mine was a short arse, but broad. I'm not fussy, any man hug at the moment!

Oldbrook · 28/02/2018 00:37

This reply has been deleted

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NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 28/02/2018 00:50

Thanks Anxious. H is being pretty supportive about the job situation and has agreed to a ceasefire of sorts until I can get through this. I have to say NC is totally to the back of my mind through all of this which is probably good. He is 6ft 2 and gives great hugs Smile

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 28/02/2018 00:51

Take it step by step Oldbrook. You're doing fab. Have they all still gone for lunch?

When do you start your new job?

Oldbrook · 28/02/2018 01:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seshi · 28/02/2018 05:56

Morning day 17 for me... Woke up full of cold and sore throat. He was the first thing I thought of this morning... Feeling like I am regressing

Ravenscloak · 28/02/2018 06:15

Day 6 for me. Morning everyone. seshi know exactly how you feel, he’s in my head all the time too.
It has felt like an age - far longer than just 6 days.
Also not making sense this morning - I’m sure both our lives were better for having the other one in it - mine certainly was, seems odd just to end it. But I think NC will be allowing the dust to settle for both of us (I hope).

Ravenscloak · 28/02/2018 06:16

Day 17 is amazing!

seshi · 28/02/2018 07:51

@raven thank you... I echo all of your thoughts... We definitely made each others life's better. Its the abruptness of the end that I can't understand

Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 28/02/2018 08:06

Day 19 of NC ! seshi I know it's all up and down but am getting to a point where he is beginning to be a bit of a memory and it is even longer since I actually saw him in real life . Watch this I will walk into him any day now ! However I am still mentally immersed at times in the details of his day to day life - where he will be, what he will likely be doing , the days when we would normally have been seeing each other " what will he be doing today instead ? " What a load of bollocks, eh ? Why does your mind do it ? It has dawned on me that I never had contact with previous exes due to them or myself moving elsewhere so have never been in this situation before ie. liable to walk into him .

I suppose what is easier for me in many ways is that HE has not contacted me ( unlike the contact that some of the girls on here get ) The ball was left in my court with the offer of being "friends" . Doesn't even say much about that offer if he hasn't come back with it again, does it ? Still- thinking that it all meant nothing to him should propel me forwards to not think too kindly of him .

First thing I used to do was look at him on WhatsApp - now I come on here and post my ramblings instead .

Re the OLD parting anxious etc I am not sure if it is good or bad as a recovery aid . I started to do it but think the pressure of it ie wanting to meet this fabulous man who was going to shag my NC out of my mind didn't quite work ! Most of the few that I have met are twats . Since I have abandoned OLD I actually feel more like "me" again.

Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 28/02/2018 08:08

Just reread that and what a weak sounding post . Am currently in the " I am never going to meet anyone who makes me feel like that again so am happy to be on my own " frame of mind .

Oldbrook · 28/02/2018 08:12

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seshi · 28/02/2018 08:23

@Bloody thank you... I haven't seen mine since NC and we had a bit of contact through Jan but its 20 days ago since he told me that he could not be in a relationship now and I have not heard a peep. Ours was a LDR so I have very little chance of ever seeing him again.... At the moment that makes it worse for me

seshi · 28/02/2018 08:24

Sorry meant to say haven't seen since new year

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 28/02/2018 08:26

Morning all. Day 4 of non initiation. Hoping today will be better than yesterday. Each round of NC gets easier than the last

Original poster
Belonger · 28/02/2018 08:36

Morning everyone, hope the Brits aren't too snowbound.

Day 9 for me and doing OK, have found something else I hadn't blocked him on so did that yesterday, so feel fairly watertight now! Will be both relieved and disappointed if I don't hear from him tomorrow (we had agreed to keep out of contact until March), because I'm a contradictory human! But mostly am enjoying the relief of no longer checking for messages - all those little highs and lows were unsustainably exhausting.

My work and focus has improved a lot since NC.

Hope everyone has a decent day

OP posts:
Oldbrook · 28/02/2018 08:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gettingthereshopefully · 28/02/2018 08:42

Morning all!

Most of the few that I have met are twats . Since I have abandoned OLD I actually feel more like "me" again.

Bloodyuseless, you're spot on with that. I slept with a man I'd been out with a few times end of last year (not met on OLD, this one, but who had come up to me when I was out with my children one evening). He was in some ways a good guy and so very different from my NC. That one-off sex did absolutely nothing to help me forget NC. I also stopped OLD last summer and I definitely feel much more myself these days.

I really hope your day is better than yesterday NK.

Ravenscloak and seshi it's so normal that your men are in your heads all the time. It will ease with time, I promise you. It's the drug and memories working through your minds.

A long spate of messages with my NC yesterday. Glad we are on good terms. Glad I found them almost boring (yes, really) which needs to be heeded by all of you because I NEVER imagined reaching the stage when I'd find contact with my all too fascinating NC tedious! And very glad I can be honest with him now and tell him when I find things boring, etc. I never dared do such a thing when I still had strong feelings for him; I was so afraid of rocking the boat. Couldn't give two hoots now.

gettingthereshopefully · 28/02/2018 08:43

I really must read back on yesterdays posts; I haven't taken the time to yet.

gettingthereshopefully · 28/02/2018 08:46

Belonger hurrah for more focus since going NC. I agree with that too.

seshi · 28/02/2018 08:48

@getting I so want to be where you are.

You rock!!!!!

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