NC Dignity Club part 7: always wear your invisible crown

[Belonger]

A thread for anyone wanting support with going or staying in No Contact. No judgement, just lots of support. Warning: this thread can seriously increase your willpower and self esteem!

Recommend also visiting website from Natalie Lue, Baggage Reclaim, or reading her book The No Contact Rule.

Morning everyone, good luck with your event seshi. Hope you feel better soon

Good morning!

Seshi take good care of yourself. It's rough feeling ill but I always find it a relief when I understand why I've been so emotionally bogged down about something; the body and mind are so closely linked.

Good news NK re: your H.

I'm back here after a tumultuous day yesterday in several ways. Today I'm going to have to get back down to getting on with tasks in hand and unwinding emotionally.

I have been following your threads for a while and now need some support to go low contact and eventaully no contact :(

Met a guy end of April (on an unconventional website) we were both seeing others etc. No problems. We got on amazing and in september decided to see eachother exxclusively in a fwb type set up. Both adamant we didn't want a traditional relationship. Been seeing eachother every other weekend and we get on amazingly. But im starting to feel more and he is happy with how things are. I cant see this ending well for me. I am kind of just waiting for the day he meets a "proper girlfriend" and just drops me. He keeps saying how much he likes me..we go out for meals, cinema, weekend away in London etc. He has told his friend about me. I feel so confused and weird for a few days after seeing him (almost like a come down) and I really think i need to end it but I enjoy our time together so much that I really struggle with not talking to him. (God that sounds pathetic :( )

Well the real H reared his head this morning. He had been on his best behaviour for about 2 months but the mask finally slipped. I'm actually glad because I was beginning to doubt myself that he could be nice (even though I'm not remotely attracted to me). He was shouting at me and calling me a clown.

My initial reaction is to contact NC and arrange to meet but of course I won't. He read my very innocuous message (We were communicating all day) at 8pm and didn't reply for whatever reason. I'm not even going to try and over think this one. So angry today

Sorry ladies I realise my worries are more separation/H related than NC at the moment. Feel free to tell me to bog off to another thread if it's inappropriate.

Tardis so sorry to hear that. Have you both had a good chat and both absolutely sure where you stand?

Thanks Oldbrook. I just want him out of the house now but have a long financial road to go down. In a way I'm so glad he showed his true colours again.

What made you fall out of love with him Oldbrook? Can you get them things back?

With H I don't even like him. I don't find him attractive and when he touches me I cringe. There is no going back for us

Really sorry he's being an arse nk but can understand the relief that he is as unlikeable as you thought. It's hardest when we start to doubt ourselves.

Welcome tardis, that sounds like a really painful situation. Not for him though sounds like he's getting all the nice parts of being in a relationship without actually committing to anyone. I know it's a generalisation but I don't think fwb situations really work for women, usually. In fact I increasingly think 'modern dating' could have been designed to suit men... And women who don't like it are accused of being clingy or needy. Bollocks to those accusations, says I!

Starting week 2 here and feeling pretty good, giving myself a for week 1. This has been so much easier than my NC over Christmas, in fact I've only seen him once in over 2 months and am pretty pleased with that. Couldn't have stayed so strong without you all keeping me on the straight and narrow.

Today's mission

I agree oldbrook, and we don't get shown that it's OK to ask for what we want, or even to know what we want because we're generally raised to look out for everyone else instead.

A few people have mentioned their NC guy awoke something in them or gave them something they never had with anyone else. I had that too. And it's easy to believe that they are our only chance if ever getting that thing whether it's passion or deep connection or feeling heard. But I wonder if our job is to take that awakening, that new experience, and make it our own - really believe that we deserve it and can find it in lots of things and people and in ourselves. Like take the spark that the NC guy brought and fan it ourselves, to a fire that we control. Not assume that they are the only source.

Not sure if that makes sense!

Well done for keeping busy and posting here instead of contacting plush

NK, never bog off to another thread. Everybody here, I'm quite certain, thinks you are absolutely ace and we'd be lost without you.

Love the crown ring! I've seen some cheapish crown shaped rings on etsy, I might get one as a reminder of our power!

NK, this day is off to a bad start. I guarantee that things will change in the next few hours. You're right to be pissed off. Don't cover it up. I had to do that for far too long. Not anymore.

We're all here for you.

Nice idea Belonger.

Have been in an ongoing exchange of messages with my NC man. It's good to be friends and it's good to see that he hasn't changed one jot. He's pushing ahead with the sexual messages. They make me laugh now. He has no power over me anymore.