NC Dignity Club part 7: always wear your invisible crown

[Belonger]

A thread for anyone wanting support with going or staying in No Contact. No judgement, just lots of support. Warning: this thread can seriously increase your willpower and self esteem!

Recommend also visiting website from Natalie Lue, Baggage Reclaim, or reading her book The No Contact Rule.

oldbrook belonger NK reading your posts in the hope that some of your strength and sense of calm wings its way to me today !

If you block on WhatsApp you don’t get messages sent whilst they were blocked. Not sure about SM. I haven’t blocked my NC but he’s now dropped down my WhatsApp chats so he’s not on the first page when I open. I’ve muted him so if he sent a message (he won’t) I don’t get alerts.
It’s going to be hard today - I won’t break NC but I just feel so sad

oldbook brilliant about ignoring the comment. I know what you mean, it is really hard at first, even on a habitual level and we're all brought up to be Good Girls who are polite and answer messages! But it feels so powerful to resist that old conditioning.

Bloodyuseless I sympathise and I'm very sorry your day has started with tears. But those tears don't necessarily mean that the rest of your day can't be fab in an unexpected way. One of the worst things about the NC is that our feelings change all the time in the first weeks. Your changes of heart (friends, not friends, etc.) are so normal.

Belonger, I love that quote!

I'm not calm today Bloody I'm p*ssed off.

Oldbrook I'm so in awe of how far you have come. Glad all is going well with your exH.

Any messages from the biologist Getting?

I'm afraid I've no idea about messages and blocking.

Ravens and Belonger you both sound in control

What's pissing you off nk?

If I unblock I wouldn't see any messages, they don't get delivered if you block. And I wouldn't want to see any anyway, it would just weaken my resolve. I want this finished, I want to let go.

Bloody you’ve done amazingly to get to day 18 - well done! It’s normal to struggle and the realisation that this really is it is hard!

Ah I'm just sick of the situation with H. If he tried this hard years ago we'd be okay but the love is gone for me.

My photo has sent NC into a bit of a lather. So he's been sending inappropriate messages which in turn are getting me into a bit of a lather. I'm not responding to them but sometimes I'm sick of being the sensible one. It's my own fault so I'm not expecting any sympathy.

Oh YES to feeling pissed off about always having to be the sensible one NK!

I switched on my phone this morning to find a sweet message from the biologist sent yesterday evening wishing me a peaceful night.

I don't know about blocking and unblocking messages on SM. I do know, but you probably all do too, that on the normal message app on your phone the blocked messages get stored so you can access them whenever you want. Which defeats the purpose of blocking in a way!

I woke up in the middle of the night, as I have done for the past week since the biologist thing hotted up craving him. It's awful. It's hormones. I've now learned to just let the feeling pass. And it does: for a while.

Seriously though it's good to be in control of oneself when there isn't any other option.

Hormones are a complete curse Getting. I feel absolutely tormented by them the past few days. It's just awful

How did you feel about the message?

Oldbrook I definitely don't deserve a star the way I'm feeling at the moment. I've still not told NC about mediation.

Doesn’t help that my work computer password is his name :(
I don’t want it to pass right now - I can’t believe it’s over. But I will be good for now. Waivering though - thinking might give it 2 weeks ... but will take one day at a time.

All that patience and enduring quietly means that when you are back in contact with him NK the craving can be worse.

It was a short message. Knowing him (as I do in a way) I could imagine him not knowing what to do for the best...wanting to send one, being afraid of my reaction.. I sent him one back this morning wishing him a peaceful first day back at work.

I'm tormented too NK, hormonally speaking.

Quick morning on break. Sorry you are upset Bloody.
NK a bit of a lather! That sounds like a carry on film quote. Hope you feel less tormented as the day goes on.
Seshi good luck with event.
Love and strength to all you x

Morning all. All the 'old hands' (me, OldBrook, NK, Belonger, anxious, itsa, gettingthere and others) and the newbies too - welcome.
I am finding it hard to keep up sorry. I go back and read but by the time i've scrolled down to make some personal comments my mind has blanked out again. I dont know if its the meds still or the insomnia or just that my short term memory has been shit for some time now? but I am sorry if it doesnt show that i am reading and following you all because I am. I think this thread is an amazing place - really supportive and special and I am so glad to be here.

it is snowing here (north england). I read it is snowing a little in London. DOM will hate it - he wont even go out in the rain. The house he lives in has no heating and has quite extensive mould. I have been sitting on my hands all morning about texting him - that' i am warm in bed (my back is agony today) with a pot of coffee and plenty of books and he would be welcome' but I WONT. I agree, hormones are a bitch sometimes

Hi basseting, glad you're snug and warm. Keep sitting on your hands.

(Does anyone else think 'fnarr' when they read 'sit on your hands', or is it just me?? )