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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

NC Dignity Club part 7: always wear your invisible crown

999 replies

Belonger · 23/02/2018 15:09

A thread for anyone wanting support with going or staying in No Contact. No judgement, just lots of support. Warning: this thread can seriously increase your willpower and self esteem!

Recommend also visiting website from Natalie Lue, Baggage Reclaim, or reading her book The No Contact Rule.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 25/02/2018 22:22

Ah no I'm so sorry Anxious. I will not let you message again. Time to move on from him now.

H is making me feel suffocated. He seems to be everywhere. It's very hard. How's yours?

LittleGidding · 25/02/2018 22:32

Sorry you didn't get the response you wanted anxious

Well I'm going to bed happy and positive tonight and I'm leaving it up to him to contact me when he wishes to do so. I can't believe how embarrassingly needy I have been with him, really not like me at all. He might think his relationship is great but I know he'll probably self sabotague as always. I don't need that.

The bitch is back with her head held high and her crown firmly on Grin

MyRelationshipIsWeird · 25/02/2018 22:49

One day at a time Raven - we can do it!

NC Dignity Club part 7: always wear your invisible crown
MyRelationshipIsWeird · 25/02/2018 22:51

My he's the awful person not you. He sounds like he deserves no more than complete ghosting and it would be a product of his own behaviour. Thanks Little - it's just hard to reconcile that with the man who would give me a foot rub every evening and spend an hour making me totally happy in bed, take me on amazing holidays etc. He was the perfect man, until he wasn't. Sad

anxiousnow · 25/02/2018 22:52

Thank you NK I completely understand what you mean about him being everywhere. Sometimes I find myself hiding in the play house in garden just to talk to a friend on the phone. I don't think he can keep this effort up for the whole 4 months though if it is so different to his usual self. Do you?

anxiousnow · 25/02/2018 22:54

Myrelationship and little. Stay strong. Nothing till Friday at least. I.love that!

MyRelationshipIsWeird · 25/02/2018 22:54

My relationship try to think if his smug reaction knowing he could get you back. I know anxious it was one of those moments where the scales fall from your eyes and I saw just what he thought of me! He said "sorry you're so predictable" Shock

I'm glad to have found you guys here to keep me accountable and I will do the same - "DON"T CONTACT HIM!" Grin

Ravenscloak · 25/02/2018 23:13

Im doing ok actually - which makes me think he is as well. Which makes me sad - was it really so unimportant that it can be forgotten in a couple of days? I don’t know.

Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 25/02/2018 23:18

Oh well anxiousnow let's look at the positive here - you did it now so no arsing about until next Friday . You can be 5 days NC by then !

I do understand though how saying something like that " I may well do it at this date " can help - it is a sop to your brain right now so that you can get some peace from all that inner chatter !

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 25/02/2018 23:18

Anxious no I don't think I can keep this up for 4 months. I just want my own space and he is seriously encroaching on it

Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 25/02/2018 23:20

oldbrook good for you for not responding . It can't be easy !

anxiousnow · 25/02/2018 23:23

Sorry NK I meant do you think he can keep it up? Is there anywhere to escape too even if for a night?

myrelationship good! We all help each other through. We can do you it.

ravens NO it doesn't mean it was unforgettable to him at all! Men just compartmentalize and act 'not bothered. You don't know what his silence means but it doesn't mean he has forgot

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 25/02/2018 23:42

Anxious nowhere to really escape and he is going around with a constant sad face. It's very wearing

anxiousnow · 26/02/2018 00:08

Sorry NK. I know it is hard x

Oldbrook · 26/02/2018 00:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seshi · 26/02/2018 06:20

Morning everyone... This thread changes so quickly. Hello to the newbie NCs.... I have really struggled this weekend but it's a new week and I am running an event in London over the next few days... @anxious I may follow your mindset and not allow myself to think about contacting him until Friday... Although I know that the best outcome all round would be to wait 30 days. I am scared he has met someone new though. Oddly last night the last 11 messages I sent him... Which all went unanswered...suddenly had a blue tick against them...? So I think that he probably was thinking of me yesterday but that's only because he would have been watching my football team on TV...

Never mind a crown I want a wand to magic any thoughts of him out of my head forever x

Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 26/02/2018 07:24

Day 18 but it is still a struggle . The longer it goes on the more you realise that this is it - it is over. He left me with a "get in touch with me if you still want to be friends" message but I will never move on if I do that and he will never get in touch first as I believe he now thinks he had his fun and he has got away with it unscathed . There are times I want to message him to beg him to go back to what we had but I won't - how pathetic is that ? There are times I even entertain the idea of taking the "friends" option. I'm not feeling my usual morning strength here and I don't know why . I don't like starting the day with tears .

seshi London will be a great diversion

everyone good luck this week

Original poster
Belonger · 26/02/2018 07:26

Morning all, I'm way behind with this fast-moving thread! I hope everyone is well and welcome to new people. Wishing everyone a good day and a fresh start if that's what's wanted. Oh, and wrap up warm those of us in the chilly UK!

I'm still NC, still blocked and not been tempted to unblock or contact over the weekend. Hope this feeling of distance and not-really-bothered lasts. I suspect he might try and contact me later this week because we sort of made a pact to keep out of contact through Feb, so I will be tested then. Currently planning to stay NC and ignore any contact. Fingers crossed and crown polished.

Will try and catch up on the thread but bear with me if I've lost track!

OP posts:
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 26/02/2018 07:37

Morning all. Hope everyone is good

seshi · 26/02/2018 07:38

@Bloody I am experiencing the same feelings..
, @belonger keep it up... Sounds like you have made terrific progress

Oldbrook · 26/02/2018 07:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ravenscloak · 26/02/2018 07:46

Morning all. Snowing here in London! I felt quite strong last night, now I just feel sad. Still busy week ahead. And on day 4!
Good luck everyone!

Oldbrook · 26/02/2018 07:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 26/02/2018 08:03

Oldbrook I'm so glad you've ignored the comment even though that must be so hard for you

Belonger will you unblock him in March to see if he's messaged?

Bloody there are certainly lots of ups and downs on this journey. Being friends is not an option for me and my NC

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 26/02/2018 08:04

Hi Seshi Ravens and Anxious