NC Dignity Club part 7: always wear your invisible crown

[Belonger]

A thread for anyone wanting support with going or staying in No Contact. No judgement, just lots of support. Warning: this thread can seriously increase your willpower and self esteem!

Recommend also visiting website from Natalie Lue, Baggage Reclaim, or reading her book The No Contact Rule.

Here for you SeshiI think it really helps agreeing steps with someone. When Nk and I had a day agreed I couldn't message as didn't want to let her down.
Friends That might help you too. How about no contact until Friday for a start?

Bloody ha that was awesome, thank you and never taken the wrong way by me.

NK thank you. I have had several chats with my H about things. I didn't want to but the money side worsened so I was forced to. Again he sits and thinks and agrees but that is as far as it goes. Sometimes i feel so trapped. He'll compliment me or touch me. How are things with yours? Is he still over trying? Sorry missed your tipsy rant I hadn't been on. Are you ok?

Here with an available hand seshi

Thanks for your post about EA bloody. That's part of the reason I need to step back as it could be easy to slip into and I don't want to be that person. The lines have been blurred enough between friends and lovers. We've both discussed how we have feelings for each other and that could been seen as already tip-toeing into that area already. Put it this way, I doubt he's showing the gf the messages.

I'm grand Anxious I was a bit OTT in my ranting but all good here.

I'm not surprised you feel trapped. Is there anyway out?

seshi Great on Day 14 !!

Love you ladies

You're doing so well Seshi the first 14 days are the hardest. The next bit will be easier

My aim this week is to stop looking at WhatsApp to see the last time he was on. I know his routine/work pattern etc . Is it pathetic to say that it gives me comfort to see that he is even on there ?? I need to remember the times that he read or did not read my messages in an attempt to get me to "go to him ". He admitted that he used it to manipulate me although of course he didn't use that word !

There is something healthy about NC. Stepping back, refusing to get into intense, heated and conflictual discussions which often serve little purpose. And letting emotions settle...or not.

Change your settings so you can't see last seen bloody. I don't have it on mine. Is there a way of doing it on messenger too anyone know?

Put it this way, I doubt he's showing the gf the messages.

LittleGidding, you made me laugh there!

Not pathetic at all Bloody. I get worried if I haven't seen my NC online, in case something has happened

I wonder if our nc check to see if we’re online. I’m not sure if my nc would even know you could do that on messenger.

Neither my bonkers NC nor my biologist are on SM. So that simplifies things for me, thank god.

Yes I agree Getting NC is very healthy and definitely allows for your head to clear. I knew after the messages nearly 2 weeks ago I needed to go NC for a period of time regroup. I find it very beneficial

We both have that in common, then NK. As already mentioned I am a passionate person but I feel the need to step back from intensity and regain my equilibrium. It's so important to me, especially when raising children who need stability.

Rhubarb my NC definitely does because he has sent me a few late night messages telling me to go to bed (joking) when I've been online.

My NC is not on SM himself but a family member is Public with all their posts - just too tempting !

little the problem is I want to see his presence

It definitely is really important to me too Getting

Gah I want to message him

I just typed a huge reply and lost it by clicking an ad by mistake

Glad you are OK NK
Getting when is your next session with the biologist?
bloody I check sm too but know it us unreliable. My phone shows as online when it isn't.

mygas sit on those hands. Tell us what you want to say

little I agree about EA being more hurtful than physical. My H had one. Loads of texting back and forth. Broke mine and my Dc's world. Even Grandparents Aunties Uncles siblings and friends were hugely affected. It is the reason I am a shadow of my former self. It was different though as she knew from the beginning that he was married with children. He didn't mislead her. Although he is the one mostly to blame. How long has he been with his gf and do they have children?

NK Getting stepping back is a skill I want to learn. Especially as you Say, to keep sanity and stability for DC's.

Well I sent the photo. I'm not particularly photogenic so it was hard to resist sending a good photo. It was in relation to the conversation we were having.