Facebook messenger!!!

[Dez85]

Evening!!

I am feeling so angry right now!!

Cut a long story short, my boyfriend was on my laptop earlier and it crashed and wouldn't reload so he just left it.... I've just loaded it back up and his Facebook comes up, still logged on!

Anyway, he's on his phone right now at the other end of the sofa, & I'm on my laptop... I can see that he's just 'waved' at 5 women, 3 of which have replied and he's having conversations with!! Every time he sends a message, he deletes it so the convo disappears. But little does he know, I'm watching them pop up and reading every word.

I know I shouldn't be invading his privacy & I have never done this before but bloody hell...

What an absolute C**t. Or am I over reacting?

I think slapper was mild in this case!!

Op so does he realise you have dumped him? Or have you just done the blocking sorry if Ive missed it

@Dez85 ignore the nonsense on here. We all say things in anger that perhaps could be better phrased. You have done the right thing.

What an absolute cock he is and if the "lovely ladies" knew he was in a relationship with you then calling them slappers was mild.

Well, technically I guess I haven't, I haven't actually said the words no, we briefly spoke over WA this morning when he said 'morning' and I said '👋🏻' and then he said he thought I was a bit feisty last night, I then said no, you were just defensive when I said about my friend receiving messages from men in relationships! Then I just blocked him off everything!!! So I guess at some point, if he turns up or whatever i will have to say why I've blocked him, But hopefully he just figures for himself.

I think you should unblock him, say “in case it wasn’t clear, I don’t want to see or speak to you ever again”, then re-block.

I’d attach the screenshots that you do have to that message, too. That way you won’t have to deal with him at all.

Oh I couldn't just leave him to figure it out for himself. I would have to have my say. Undignified, I'm sure, but fuck it.

Whatever helps you move on OP, if you don't want to outright tell him then don't, if you want to have it out and tell him exactly why then do it!

OP - how old are you?
It seems a slightly juvenile way to break up. Are you hoping he’ll come and try to explain/abologise?

You need to tell him.

So what if she's being 'juvenile'? He's a dick and she has the right to do whatever she feels best to help her deal with it and move on. He lost all right to expecting anything dignified off op when he was messaging other women right in front of her.

Josuk juvenile?!!! The way he's behaving is more than juvenile so why should she have to give him the time of day?

How is it juvenile? She doesn’t need to do a single thing else regarding him. She owes him sweet FA.

What an absolute dick OP. You are well rid!

Op are you sure he's going to understand he's dumped from that? I think it's a bit vague.

He'll be coming round expecting an explanation no doubt. May be interesting to see how he defends himself

Do you think he would have come round tonight if he couldn't get you on what's app or call you? Even if he left the kids in the car just to check you were ok?

@Dez85 honestly, you just need to say it. No emotions, or drama. Just say:

I saw you messaging other women. Youvleft Facebook messenger open on the laptop so no point denying it.

Sorry. This doesn't work for me.

Wish you well.

Etc etc

I'm at a loss as to why it is juvenile to block him and move on with her life? Why create drama for yourself - this way is totally drama free

I'm hoping for an update Op. can we please phrase some sayings Op should deliver if he does show up? Mnetters are ace at one-liners etc

So sorry to hear that but be the adult here and at least say to him "oh and BTW. ..blah blah screen shots " then block

We'll now you know why he's divorced ( and that his ex wife's not a crazy bitch after all).

People are always talking negatively abt modern technology but it has just enabled you to avoid fking up your life with a lying, cheating wanker. It's just saved you from wasting potentially yrs of your life with him.

May bit seem like it now but you'll thank your lucky stars for it in future.

(May not)

Please heed this warning... Do what you need to do to break up with this guy (and yes he deserves it) but DO NOT screen shot his Facebook page/messages OR send them to him or anyone else! I've just been questioned under police caution.

I did the same thing a couple of years ago when my husband and I were separated but were still living in the same house. I stumbled upon notifications taking me to his Facebook messages when he'd accidentally synced our little girl's tablet with his own Chrome account. I saw some particularly nasty messages about me between my husband and his new partner and screen shot them to save. At the time I thought seeing the messages and his search history was a strike of luck - up until that point I'd been perhaps letting too many things slide so as to remain amicable and the content made me realise just how vindictive they were being.

We've had a pretty nasty divorce which is still ongoing. He and his partner sent a pretty vicious text to me which was so devastating, I reacted by sending the screen shots I'd taken years ago to his and her email. I was taken in for questioning under caution by the police this week after my STBX made an allegation of 'hacking' and harassment against me and the police seem to be taking it fairly seriously. Thank God I had free legal advice that evening - I was absolutely astounded that this could happen. They're now considering the evidence and have said they may issue a police caution which will go onto the National Police database for 6 years and has pretty serious implications or it's possible the CPS may determine there's enough evidence to actually prosecute.

The content of the messages have no bearing - she was threatening physical assault against me and they discussed plotting a campaign to attempt to destroy my finances and reputation. The only things the police were interested in were that I'd looked at his account and had 'scrolled' the page and had 'captured his data' by taking a screen shot. They would not believe me when I was adamant that the account had automatically signed in - they seem convinced that I've somehow obtained the knowledge of how to hack a device! I'm ok with tech, but Jesus that's taking it too far!!

I regretted reacting in anger and sending the screen shots immediately but NEVER imagined it could result in something so serious. I thought perhaps he/she would be embarrassed about what they'd said about me and had done and would maybe change passwords and have his solicitor send me a letter - NOT call the bloody police on me!

Consider that this was my child's device, in my house, with my husband of 10 years signed-in account and I didn't look through historic content, only sent the screen shots to him, and didn't 'distribute' it or change anything on his page or account. Please, please keep that in mind when you consider how to deal with your own situation and the possible long-term consequences it could have on your life.

Good luck OP - I hope you go on to find someone lovely after this horrible episode.

OP I think you have managed this in such a graceful way! I would have gone mad. Well done you classy girl! I love how you have just blocked him of everything 😂. Kudos to you! Onward and upwards xx