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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Facebook messenger!!!

236 replies

Dez85 · 22/02/2018 23:13

Evening!!

I am feeling so angry right now!!

Cut a long story short, my boyfriend was on my laptop earlier and it crashed and wouldn't reload so he just left it.... I've just loaded it back up and his Facebook comes up, still logged on!

Anyway, he's on his phone right now at the other end of the sofa, & I'm on my laptop... I can see that he's just 'waved' at 5 women, 3 of which have replied and he's having conversations with!! Every time he sends a message, he deletes it so the convo disappears. But little does he know, I'm watching them pop up and reading every word.

I know I shouldn't be invading his privacy & I have never done this before but bloody hell...

What an absolute C**t. Or am I over reacting?

OP posts:
jessei · 23/02/2018 07:06

So sorry op! At least you haven't wasted more time with this cheat. I feel sorry for the next person he has a relationship with too!

InfiniteSheldon · 23/02/2018 07:09

Can't believe you let him stay

bimbobaggins · 23/02/2018 07:13

I’d just get rid. If this is what he’s up to when he’s sitting right next to you I’d hate to think what he does when you aren’t around.

TellsEveryoneRealFacts · 23/02/2018 07:17

Only been together 8 months...

My advice would be to not make it 9 months.

You now know he is a sleazy scumbag and a liar.

PastaOfMuppets · 23/02/2018 07:18

Wait, so you let him stay over last night after all of that, and now he's gone to work*, and you still haven't dumped him? Why do you want to be in a relationship so badly that you'll put up with this?

  • Who knows where he is
SM2132 · 23/02/2018 07:18

It is really hard to be sat there normally, then an hour later having to process the fact that you should dump him.
Tell your friends what you have found and get their support.
If you stay with him, you will regret it.
I had similar with my ex, found out he was messaging women on facebook, one in particular. I confronted him, he dismissed it as me overreacting and that he was only chatting. We stayed together (had a toddler together at the time). It continued. His lies got worse. He left me in the end, years later. For a woman he met online. Not that he ever admitted it. Said he met her after we split. (1 week after we split after an 8 yr relationship...yeah right).
I would have saved myself a lot of trouble and heartache if I had been brave and done what I knew was the right thing to do at the time.
When someone shows you who they are, take notice. Once a liar, always a liar.

AdalindSchade · 23/02/2018 07:19

Of course it hurts and you'll be sad for a while but honestly you need to just end it. The only thing in the future for you both is hurt.

StarlightSparkle · 23/02/2018 07:30

What an awful man. So disrespectful to you and his ex, the mother of his children. As others have said, just be glad you don’t have kids/ marriage/ house - chalk this one down to experience and move on.

justbeingmyself · 23/02/2018 07:30

Sorry to read all of this OP. You handled yourself excellently last night, he is obviously a lying manipulative prick.

You won't ever be able to trust him again, and I think you should definitely cut your losses and walk away. I know how hard that is though, sending you strength to do whatever you need to Flowers

TooMuchGreys · 23/02/2018 07:32

Please just end things with him. He will inevitably hurt you (even more) in the future. You will never be able to trust him now.

NoKnownFather · 23/02/2018 07:37

It won't matter if you stay with him for another 8 months, he won't change so why delay the inevitable? You don't need any more proof of his lies etc.

Pack his things while he's at work and leave them outside the front door....or drop them to his workplace. Either way, have a friend with you at your home or stay with a friend for the weekend.

Flowers
TheBlindspot · 23/02/2018 07:38

Echoing the PPs here. Pack his stuff and kick him out! My first ever LTB.

BrownTurkey · 23/02/2018 08:00

Why would you even share a sofa with him now. He lied to your face totally disrespecting you. You have the upper hand so keep your dignity and end it.

FinallyHere · 23/02/2018 08:06

I will just have to keep watch I guess??

Really??!!!?

He already has children, is on-line flirting with lots of girls and fully expecting to sleep with you.

Just wondering what you are looking out for? Him to show himself as a liar? [tick]

C0untDucku1a · 23/02/2018 08:07

End it. Theres no point staying.

hellsbellsmelons · 23/02/2018 08:08

This is exactly how I found about my ExP.
He was messaging all sorts.
I dumped him.
You should do the same!
They really do think we are clueless airheads.
Wankers!
Dump him by messenger!

gingergenius · 23/02/2018 08:28

Sous like your decision is made for you OP Confused

Original poster
Dez85 · 23/02/2018 08:41

Yes I will be dumping his arse, I don't know why I didn't last night to be honest, I guess I just wanted 'stronger' message proof.

Anyway he's just text 'good morning, you okay? Xx' as I was asleep when he left (wasn't) I sent back 👋🏻 so surely he has the hint I now know. Just a little hint before all shit hits the fan.

Thanks for all of your replies!!!!! Good residence I think!

OP posts:
Original poster
Dez85 · 23/02/2018 08:42

*riddance

OP posts:
Pickledonion24 · 23/02/2018 08:47

Well done with the hint not sure he will understand it as he didn’t get the other hints last night Grin

Rosiie · 23/02/2018 08:50

The fact that he's deleting the messages so quickly speaks volumes.

gingergenius · 23/02/2018 08:50

He'll deny all knowledge op. Let us know how it goes! Sorry you've had to put up with this.

FinallyHere · 23/02/2018 08:52

Just a little hint before all shit hits the fan.

He doesn't sound the type to notice hints which do not suit him. And he has a few contacts in reserve, I expect he will just shuffle the pack and continue. Good for you getting rid, onward and upwards.

Psychobabble123 · 23/02/2018 08:52

What a thick bastard!!!

PootlesLovelyHat · 23/02/2018 08:53

Wave him goodbye 👋

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