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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Facebook messenger!!!

236 replies

Dez85 · 22/02/2018 23:13

Evening!!

I am feeling so angry right now!!

Cut a long story short, my boyfriend was on my laptop earlier and it crashed and wouldn't reload so he just left it.... I've just loaded it back up and his Facebook comes up, still logged on!

Anyway, he's on his phone right now at the other end of the sofa, & I'm on my laptop... I can see that he's just 'waved' at 5 women, 3 of which have replied and he's having conversations with!! Every time he sends a message, he deletes it so the convo disappears. But little does he know, I'm watching them pop up and reading every word.

I know I shouldn't be invading his privacy & I have never done this before but bloody hell...

What an absolute C**t. Or am I over reacting?

OP posts:
HelenUrth · 23/02/2018 00:06

If you're using a PC as opposed to a Mac, just keep hitting the "prt sc" button (might be near top right of keyboard on laptop), it'll take a screenshot every time which will be stored somewhere on your computer. (where is another question!) I'm sure it can be done for a Mac but don't know specifically what you need to do, maybe someone else can advise.
But much easier than trying to take a photo of the screen with your phone.

tafftum · 23/02/2018 00:06

Ew what an absolute scumbag. So sorry op, must be awfulThanks

tafftum · 23/02/2018 00:07

Also, since he's at YOUR house show him the door

GottadoitGottadoit · 23/02/2018 00:10

nope. He is being disrespectful.

anxiousnow · 23/02/2018 00:13

Had you suspected anything prior to this Dez? Keep an eye on your fb when he is next online. What an absolute creep to be messenger nasty women whike he has you and is in your home. So sorry you must be finding it so hard not to blurt it out.

debbs77 · 23/02/2018 00:14

I would totally have posted a status update from his profile about him and that it's such a shame his girlfriend has left him

BackInTheRoom · 23/02/2018 00:15

OMG! Shock

Original poster
Dez85 · 23/02/2018 00:19

Oh my god.

I've just been back on, obviously can't sleep & clicked on archived messages.... loads.... not any since we have been together though.

Look at this one though. I know it's 5 years ago but still....

(He was in a 10 year relationship, 2 kids)

Facebook messenger!!!
OP posts:
ThreeFish · 23/02/2018 00:22

You've seen it real-time. Do you need more evidence? You're not married, with kids, a mortgage.
Get rid of him and look for someone who actually wants to be with you. When you've done that thank your lucky stars that you found out before.
Disrespectful my arse. Show him the door.

chickychickyparmparm · 23/02/2018 00:24

Oh god, he's horrible! I agree, there's nothing to bide your time for. You haven't been together long so hopefully you can extricate yourself fairly easily.

GlitteryFluff · 23/02/2018 00:24

Just show him the door. Cut your losses now whilst you're only 8 months in.

Boobaloo1 · 23/02/2018 00:34

Get fucking rid, Jesus. What are you waiting for?

Theshipsong · 23/02/2018 00:34

You don't have ties. Thank your stars you've had a lucky escape.

TheJoyOfSox · 23/02/2018 00:35

Ask him outright “do other women ever message you and flirt?”

If he says no, tell him to get out.

The first rule of catching a cheat is to find out if they’re a liar. Once they prove they are a liar, you know not to trust a word they say. (Sorry if I sound bitter, I’ve been lied to in the past)

LemonysSnicket · 23/02/2018 00:36

Check archived messages Angry

LemonysSnicket · 23/02/2018 00:37

Ah you already did ! Good job

Original poster
Dez85 · 23/02/2018 00:44

Okay I've just said to him 'Sarah, (my friend) keeps getting this guy messaging her on Facebook, he's in a relationship!'

Him 'oh what's he saying?'

Me: bla bla, have you ever messaged any other women while we have been together?

Him: no, why would I have??

Me: just asking a question!

Him: well where's all this coming from?

Me: no need to get all defensive, I'm only asking because this guy is messaging Sarah & I just wondered if that's the sort of thing men do now if they are in relationships!

Him: I'm not getting defensive!! well no, why do I feel like you've got something to say!? just spit it out if you have.

Me: I haven't!! I was just talking in general.

Him: oh okay, nah I never go on fb messenger anyway!

OP posts:
LilQueenie · 23/02/2018 00:51

smack him in the balls with your laptop the lying cunt. Angry

ChishandFips33 · 23/02/2018 00:52

8 months in and this already plus a history of this behaviour

'Wave' to him as you move on - you deserve better

Baudelairian · 23/02/2018 00:53

Run as fast as your legs can carry you OP! He’s shown his true colours and you’ve seen it with your own eyes.

You’re 8 months in to a relationship but imag8ne being the poor ex who was his long term partner.Pregnant while he flirts with other women, horrible!

Cut your losses and drop him like a hot,nasty cheating potato.

MiffedMummy · 23/02/2018 00:54

Just say, "you know what, I've just realised I don't like you very much and I'm definitely not horny so you can leave." What a dickhead.

DrunkUnicorn · 23/02/2018 00:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Newerversion · 23/02/2018 00:55

Christ! He is not a novice at this! You must be hurting a lot right now, he is a disrespectful twit. At least you have seen who he is though.

apacketofcrisps · 23/02/2018 00:56

Sorry but is he thick? How can he not realise when you’re practically telling him?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 23/02/2018 00:56

Don’t you only need to save the password if you log out?

As in if you stay logged in it should come up everytime you go directly to Facebook on the laptop but don’t use your own on it or go to the sign in page just put it in the search bar and click on the Facebook picture that comes up on google

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