Cheating husband? Help with WhatsApp please!

[betrayedorcrazy]

I recently downloaded WhatsApp to my phone to talk to a particular friend who is not on Facebook. I knew my husband had it so wasn't surprised when he popped up in my contacts. I mentioned it to him and he said he hadn't used it since messaging a friend a few months ago.
I saw the last seen thing when I sent my friend a message and, being nosy, clicked on my husbands. I was out at the time and it said last seen about 10 mins after I went out. This was about a week ago and he seems to go on it once a day when I'm not about. He has an iPhone and leaves all his apps open but always swipes this one away. He has 3 old chats on WhatsApp but when I looked in the data and storage bit there were 3 more numbers - 2 saying 2 messages and one saying 1 photo, he has deleted them since I told him I have the app.
I then looked in network usage, and the status media bytes received is showing MB rather than KB as everything else does. That's a lot right?
I googled WhatsApp status and see that you can post a status that lasts 24 hours. Now I'm wondering if that's why he only goes on it once a day, to look for a status update from someone. There were none in there this morning when I looked, but if I do find one and open it will he know?
He seems perfectly normal and I have no reason to suspect anything is wrong apart from him lying about not going on this app. I have no idea what I'm doing with WhatsApp so would appreciate any info people can offer.

Sorry for such a long post.

Trust your gut and see what you can find out. My ex was cheating all over the show and I should have read the weird whatsapp behaviour better, would have saved me a lot of time, money and heartache! I hope it turns out to be nothing but well done for not burying your head in the sand...

Nobody I know including myself uses message previews, it's so easy for a colleague or friend etc to see something private.

However the rest is slightly suspicious.

Put her number in your phone Betrayed, then you can see when she is online, if he is at the same time. Even if time stamp is off, you can see when they are online.

Hi Betrayedorcrazy,

I used WhatsApp a lot and have recently been using Tinder. Having used Tinder before, I have noticed a change! Men used to want to connect via Kik Messenger. Does your husband have this app? With Kik you connect via username and it was very discreet, phone numbers were not exchanged.

I blocked men who used Kik. But, I've noticed that men are now using WhatsApp. In one case I had a suspicion he was married, so blocked him.

I have just found this link and I have learnt a couple of things I did not know about WhatsApp: messagingapplab.com/news/whatsapp-3-ways-to-find-out-if-your-partner-is-cheating/1482/

The first option looks confusing how they have specified it but do the following and apologies if you already have been told this:

Go into Chat
Then click on write a message at the top right-hand corner, which then shows a list of all your WhatsApp contacts - at the top, it will show 'frequently contacted'. You can see the numbers he contacts the most.

Option 3 of their advice is sterling.

Good luck
Delphi

I used WhatsApp in a similar way when I was with an abusive controlling ex. It was the only way I could speak to some of my friends, mostly male, but some female. It's a different point of view, but it was very effective at hiding my activity.

I would go on and quickly send a message to say 'I'll be free for a chat at X time, if you're available' or 'I won't be able to ring today as planned'. They knew not to message back unless I said it was safe, and I would delete the messages and force close the app, because he always likes to go snooping through my phone.

I also had previews switched off when we were at home together, because he would read something into everything, and often just turned off alerts for all messages, so I could only see them if I opened the app.

Looking back, I can't believe I thought this was perfectly acceptable!

I was doing stuff behind his back that he wouldn't approve of, and never found out about, but in my case it was all innocent and he and was an arsehole.

The school mom thing would make me go hmmm tbh

Hmm it all sounds very sus to me

My ex was secretive with his phone and it was my gut that was right. Ot wasn't cheating it was to do with money but my gut was right

Good luck I hope it's not what you think x

If u use WhatsApp detector u can put dh number in and the school Mum it won’t show u the messages but when they are both online

Not to alarm you OP but this was EXACTLY how I caught my husband cheating. Constantly on WhatsApp, changed the message preview thing. He’d also turned off the thing on whatsapp that automatically saves photos to your camera roll (worth looking at that too).

If you think he’s capable of cheating on you why are you with him?

People are the only animals that fight their gut instincts, oddly ...

Go with your gut. Dig deeper.

That frequent conversations thing only refers to live chats. So my ones I’ve deleted are not on there. Also. Turning whatsapp off?!

Lucky my husband should’ve done that - I found loads of photos of her on his phone that had been sent via WhatsApp. Bloody idiot.

Shudder

I think what the prior poster meant about turning whatsapp off is , if you turn your phone onto airplane mode then you can access messages without it showing on the app that you've been online . However it doesn't seem like the OP's hubby is aware / concerned about this , as his timestamp is on display .

Go with your gut OP , as some people have said they have experienced similar situations with their ex partners and it turned out they were cheating. Hope this isn't the case.

And to the people saying "it's only going on whatsapp , who cares" I think you've missed the point...the DH advised he hadn't used it for months yet opens the app every time the OP isn't there , that combined with changing passcode and hiding message preview is slightly suspect ....

OP has your DH gave you his new passcode details, understand the kids not having it but if you ever had an emergency then it would be useful to know it...if he hasn't told you or refuses to tell you then that is slifhly off imo xxx

*slighlty

Still spelt it wrong , fuck it , you know what I mean!!😂

I haven't been on my own with the laptop to get the pm.
Thanks to all who have commented. It's very useful , I didn't realise the top ranking thing referred to live chats, but explains why some are further down the list.
To whoever put why am I with him if I suspect him - that's the whole point, I didn't. I didn't suspect him when he turned the text previews off. If he is cheating then it will be an absolute bolt out if the blue.
If he was checking WhatsApp once a day normally it wouldn't ring alarm bells. Just the fact he said he's not been on it in months and is hiding it. Earlier he took himself off in the front room 'to read the news' and checked it then. We work from home together so I'm with him all day. He goes out ion appointments so I will keep an eye on where he's going.
I've emailed all of the phone bills to myself so can look on my mobile. I'm upstairs now while he's watching football. Going to make a note of any texts on the bill I don't recognise. He never deletes texts so if I type the numbers into his phone and it's not there that will give me a good starting point.
I have always trusted him but I know these things happen

As a heads up, WhatsApp is an internet app so uses mobile data or WiFi - it doesn't usually show on a bill.

Sorry I am confusing people here - I mean by switching off data so that errant messages don't come in .

In WhatsApp go to - Settings - Data and Storage Use - then look at the Storage Use . It's ranked by usage and oyu can go into each one and see number of messages, number of media items.

What are media Items? Are these photos?
I did look in here about a week ago and now most of them have vanished.
I'm looking on the phone bill at his texts, not for WhatsApp stuff. If he hid his text preview to stop me seeing stuff then I guess there will be texts that he was expecting replies to.

Yes media items are photographs.

Never ignore your gut, I did, and my h was cheating on me for 14 months, through whatsApp and messenger.

I was going to suggest the same as Bloody. You can see how many messages have been sent and received.