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Original poster

Cheating husband? Help with WhatsApp please!

445 replies

betrayedorcrazy · 18/02/2018 10:41

I recently downloaded WhatsApp to my phone to talk to a particular friend who is not on Facebook. I knew my husband had it so wasn't surprised when he popped up in my contacts. I mentioned it to him and he said he hadn't used it since messaging a friend a few months ago.
I saw the last seen thing when I sent my friend a message and, being nosy, clicked on my husbands. I was out at the time and it said last seen about 10 mins after I went out. This was about a week ago and he seems to go on it once a day when I'm not about. He has an iPhone and leaves all his apps open but always swipes this one away. He has 3 old chats on WhatsApp but when I looked in the data and storage bit there were 3 more numbers - 2 saying 2 messages and one saying 1 photo, he has deleted them since I told him I have the app.
I then looked in network usage, and the status media bytes received is showing MB rather than KB as everything else does. That's a lot right?
I googled WhatsApp status and see that you can post a status that lasts 24 hours. Now I'm wondering if that's why he only goes on it once a day, to look for a status update from someone. There were none in there this morning when I looked, but if I do find one and open it will he know?
He seems perfectly normal and I have no reason to suspect anything is wrong apart from him lying about not going on this app. I have no idea what I'm doing with WhatsApp so would appreciate any info people can offer.

Sorry for such a long post.

OP posts:
userxx · 18/02/2018 18:19

If he was messaging someone, he would be on there constantly not just once a day, also he wouldn't leave his phone lying around it would be stuffed into his pocket at all times. I sometimes have a nosy to see when people were last online.

Original poster
betrayedorcrazy · 18/02/2018 21:23

I googled the numbers he had deleted and nothing. Typed them into Facebook and one cane up with a mum from my kids last school.

OP posts:
saveyourkissesforme · 18/02/2018 21:29

If you feel that something is 'off' it may well be. Why would he say he doesn't use it and then open the app when you're not there.

yetmorecrap · 18/02/2018 23:03

Sent you a PM

Original poster
betrayedorcrazy · 18/02/2018 23:15

How do I see a pm. Sorry it's my
First post. I can't see a notification anywhere x

OP posts:
Hotdoggity · 18/02/2018 23:21

The mum from last school is worrying. I’d be a bit concerned at that.

badsurname · 18/02/2018 23:22

When my husband was cheating he did it over what's app and archived the chat. You have to swipe up or all the way down to find them depending on if it's iPhone or android.

saveyourkissesforme · 18/02/2018 23:24

You can easily delete a WhatsApp chat completely.

Chippyway · 18/02/2018 23:48

How do you know he’s only checking WhatsApp once a day?

He might be on there loads. Just because it says ‘last active 2 hours ago’ it doesn’t mean that’s the only time he’s been active. He could’ve been on there ten times before then

If you’re genuinely suspicious something is going on then you need to do some digging. But honestly, if him using WhatsApp is your only reason to suspect anything, then I think you’re being overly paranoid. There’s nothing wrong with using WhatsApp

Ottybotty1 · 19/02/2018 00:20

I would be concerned that a Mum from an old school popped up as one of the numbers 🤔

C0untDucku1a · 19/02/2018 00:31

The mum from school could be there because he replied to a party invite?

Original poster
betrayedorcrazy · 19/02/2018 08:55

It will say last seen at a time and then it doesn't change until the next day.
Re the other mum, our youngest girls are 14 and have not been friends since they were about 8 at primary school. I really don't see why they would need to message each other.
Another thing just occurred to me - he changed his passcode, and also the text alert on his phone a few months ago so it didn't show a preview of the text. I didn't really think anything of it at the time as he said he was fed up with the kids nosing at his phone.
I always download a copy of the phone bill when it comes so I will have a look back through them later

OP posts:
yetmorecrap · 19/02/2018 09:20

Go into your mumsnet account to see a pm, it will say ‘inbox’

Chippyway · 19/02/2018 10:05

If he has been speaking to her on WhatsApp it won’t show up on the phone bill

BubbaLips · 19/02/2018 10:13

it seems a bit suspicious op i would be snooping more.

Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 19/02/2018 10:16

Changing the settings so there is no preview - something to hide I would say . He can also set receipt of messages to silent . Yes, you have to look for the archive chats as badsurname says. These men are so risky that they LOVE to have these messages to look at at their leisure so may not delete. Part of the thrill are the messages . He may also switch his WhatsApp on and off so that he does not get any stray messages coming in at the wrong time.

Mrstobe90 · 19/02/2018 10:16

I hate to say it but it sounds a bit fishy! Try and find out more xx

Original poster
betrayedorcrazy · 19/02/2018 10:18

Thanks yetmorecrap. I can't see it on my phone but will look on the laptop when I'm on my own
I'm going to look on the phone bill as if he did stop text previews to prevent me seeing them, then I'm guessing he must have text someone to be expecting a reply.

OP posts:
Original poster
betrayedorcrazy · 19/02/2018 10:19

Thanks, I'll have a look for archived chats. I'll try and learn my way round it on my own phone first as can only get to his for a few minutes at a time.

OP posts:
Pogmella · 19/02/2018 10:20

Hang on can you switch WhatsApp off?

yetmorecrap · 19/02/2018 10:24

If he uses WhatsApp a lot, just so you are aware it won’t be on phone bills.

isthismylifenow · 19/02/2018 10:28

You can see if a contact has updated their 24 status as there will be a star on that section where it says STATUS on the main page.

I have my time stamp turned off, this is for various reasons really. Nothing suspicious in doing it in my case though.

Just as an aside. If you completely uninstall WA, then reinstall, it will ask you if you want to load backed up messages. If you say yes, it will bring back all the old messages up until certain date. Even deleted ones.

muffyduffster · 19/02/2018 10:32

Hi op
A friend of mine was suspicious about the text preview being turned off and that turned out to be one of the signs that her fiancé was messaging someone else. Mine has his turned off because he's a teacher and doesn't want kids or colleagues seeing messages from his mates when he's at school (has preview turned back on in school holidays). The fact that he's changed it is fishy though.

isthismylifenow · 19/02/2018 10:34

You can also 'snoop' on whatsapp via whatsapp web. Of course this is very risky, its there to link to you laptop, but you can scan one phone with another, and you will receive all his messages on your phone. If he looked at that he would see your phone as linked.

Bloody, what do you mean by switching the app off and on?

StarlightSparkle · 19/02/2018 10:56

On Whatsdetective you could monitor his number and the school mum’s number if you were suspicious they were messaging each other. If they are regularly online at the same time it might suggest they are speaking to each other.

His behaviour sounds odd to me. Why say you haven’t used WhatsApp for months if you go on it every day? Nothing wrong with using it daily so I don’t understand the need to lie. And switching off previews is strange if it didn’t bother him before.

I found out my H was having an affair via WhatsApp. Saw notifications pop up from an unfamiliar name, sneaked a look at his phone the next day and it was a girl I’d never heard of. The conversation only went back to earlier that day so I knew he’d been deleting messages. Turns out he was shagging her, a work colleague. Prior to seeing the notifications I hadn’t suspected him at all.

I would try to get some more sneaky peaks at his phone.

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