Dating Thread 128: the one without a catchy title

[RunsforCake14]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

Pudding Google your name and model of phone with 'how to block texts' and you should get an answer

Rose woohoo. Congratulations!!

Yay rose !!

Lostlilly sounds like a great Night! How do you feel about him now? I've got a date coming up at mine where my iron may stay over but I'm not ready to dtd. Did you share a bed? And wear pyjamas? It feels like it may be quite awkward to have a sleepover with no dtd so wondering how your night evolved

Had a message from someone on POF, he looked reasonable so took a look at his profile which reads ‘I live with my mum and my dog’ , he’s 32 years old and still lives at home with his mum, I think I was more shocked at the fact he wrote that in his profile

So I’m lacking Irons and have no dates, I have got rid of my 2 long distance irons, I feel sad about one of them as we have a lot in comon but it just won’t work.

NewYear - don't know if it would work for you, but the first time MrF came here, I just said early in the evening 'if you'd like to stay over so you can drink you'd be very welcome - I've got a very comfortable sofabed . . .' so no misunderstandings.

(Actually, in that case, I wasn't absolutely sure he thought he was on a date, and didn't want to appear to be propositioning him if he thought he'd come for a social drink with a work contact )

newyear you can have a little kiss and cuddle and just mention no funny business

does he drive? could you make it about not wanting him to drive if drinking?

Thanks Sadik and Eskimo yes he drives. Only thing about the sofa is he's too tall for it so he'd have to have my bed and I the sofa. That feels a bit odd then I think he would like to stay though as he has a long journey. Perhaps I need to leave it for another time 😁

Honestly. Message from someone completely unsuitable on Match .. 'Not bad!'. Would anyone really ever reply positively to a message like that. I despair.

I know 'dating the thread' is not allowed but a skype group chat would be fun one day.

Save Not bad. ? Gosh thanks.

But, then, I am feeling pretty pissed off today with general man-splaining.

Newyear I had this situation once - and did what you propose. Now I think, he would've settled for the sofa regardless of length, if he thought there was legroom in the relationship.

Mmm clearly I'm quite cross today and not giving much leeway. But I've dealt with equally arsey men and have given in to them. Not trying to be a harridan. But early days in a relationship: maybe a middle ground can be reached?

can i ask a strange question?

ok, so for me kissing with tongues is normal. my last DP didnt use tongues on our first kiss, but every other time after that he did thankfully. to me its normal. i couldnt kiss without tongue unless its a quick peck.

last nights date didnt use tongue and i think thats why i freaked out and ended the kiss. to be fair it only lasted 2 seconds, probably not long enough to find out but hes foreign, so i got scared he’d kiss weird

i dated a guy at uni who NEVER used tongue when kissing and it really put me
off him. its like kissing air.

what is everyones take on this?

esk1mo If it didn't last very long, maybe you just didn't give the guy a chance to use his tongue? Sounds like you had one really bad experience and it's putting you off.

saveyourkissesforme I sympathise. I know not everyone replies to messages and it can feel disheartening, but if you put that little effort into a first message, why, oh why, would you expect a response?

Lovemusic33 There would have to be some serious extenuating circumstances for me not to write off a man who still lives with his mum. If she's the queen, and it's live in a scabby bedsit or take a room at Buckingham Palace, fair enough. If she's ill and needs a carer, OK. But if he hadn't ever lived away from home? I can't be bothered housetraining a man. Not at my age. It's such an investment.

And... I'm back in the game. Seeing The Greek on Friday.

Hello! Joining your thread as just back in dating after a divorce. Been on 2 dates with a man. Seemed to go well & we are supposed to be meeting up later this week. We have been texting daily for weeks as both been too busy to catch up. We had a lovely phone chat on Friday night- lots of laughs & then texts afterwards. He was skiing at the weekend but then nothing since Friday. I am hesitant to message him first as there seems to be lots of unwritten rules to dating now (not been single since 2003). Is this normal? Should I just text & not worry about rules??! Help please!

Lost - is he bald? Ok the spotless house and white cotton bedding isn't making me swoon as much 😬

SaveyourKisses - I am losing the will to live on Match today. Conversation is drier than the Sahara desert and spoken to a few guys tonight which have been really hard work.

Is there a good day/time of day to get decent traffic. Monday nights are not the one.

Anna if he's been skiing then he's presumably only just back? I'd perhaps leave it til tomorrow and then send a short message.

Vixen I've got some traffic this eve but low on quality. Waiting for subscription to end and will have a break and rethink on sites and marketing....

Just back from my first tinder date - the warning bells were unfounded - seemed genuine but no spark whatsoever. He didn't really asked me any questions about myself and the conversation mainly consisted of his cars, motorbikes and how much he earned yawn - think that will be my first and last for a while - just not feeling it. Where is Kin?

Ah. Shame. Was that the hotel one Val?

You wonder why some of then bother val Had THE most boring old fart last week - talked about his aches and pains and 2 divorces !

chocolate and lost same here Mr Sensible should be perfect but there’s something.. meanwhile the totally inappropriate ones are so exciting!!

Save yes it was - just shows that the picture you build up in your mind beforehand is nothing like reality. He is harmless I think but after 1 drink I was ready to go - stayed for 3 so now I'll be going to the loo all night - only so much coke you can drink!

bloody depressing isn't it?

Rose excellent news! Park on the bench but check in now and then?

Vixen that’s a bugger: it’s been quieter for me since Friday but I’ve got another date booked from a new iron tonight. Let’s call him MrMoves. So I’ve got 3 dates on 3 nights next week

I did a search today and set the filters to guys who classed themselves as attractive (60% were to me) and very attractive (about 30%). I’ve realised that the guys who at first look would give me the RH (raging horn) are few and far between online. But I’m not losing faith. Yet.

Talking of boring date chat, I know A LOT about one of my dates’ ex wives. I wish I didn’t. It’s not good first date juju. I don’t mind giving a potted history, but not specifics. It’s just......not sexy.

Anna : what Save said; I’d give it a day or two, too. Well actually I wouldn’t message at all, but that’s just me.

Pringle nice one. I was going to make an inappropriate joke about Greek yoghurt. But I won’t.