Dating Thread 128: the one without a catchy title

[RunsforCake14]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

What sites do you girls use? I'm on plenty of fish and so far either weirdos, sex pests or people that want to meet there and now.
Enjoyed some banter on there and some flirty messages but can't see myself ever agreeing to meet any of these men lol.
Wouldn't mind a bit of how's your father but considering how desperate the men are god knows how many women they have met. It could be STD paradise

Cover that proper made me laugh! I am a nightmare with xx I do it without thinking but since reading the threads I have tried to be more aware of it and stop myself!

I have been messaging MrTwoPeople for the best part of a week and although he’s asked me on a date we haven’t set one. He now has man flu and has just messaged to say why am I active on PoF - we haven’t even met yet, should I not be online if I am talking to someone - surely not?

I have also received instructions from MrFiftyShadesofDialSoldier and much as I know I don’t want a casual relationship surely one more time won’t hurt ?

Lol Cover. I get what you mean!

Well I just joined Match. I was offered a month for £4.99 today so we'll see. Not sure if it's a widespread offer or if they just felt incredibly sorry for my tragic love life. So far it's been a bit tumbleweedy. Couple of messages, one promising. I think I had more views etc when I wasn't paid up! Typical. But at least I can reply to messages now.

stmoritz I had that too lovely guy to chat to online but oh so camp in real life...

Shit Peaceful avoid avoid avoid! It’s none of his sodding business what you’re doing on there: you’ve not even met yet!! B
Unless abs until you agree exclusivity and can the apps then that kind of question is totally inappropriate. Huge red flag.

(Yep, still in Crone mode; walk on by, nothing to see here......)

MissCatt I shelled out £60 for 6 months; no sniff of an offer, so nice one 👍🏻

peaceful whats the story behind MrFiftyShadesofDialSoldier??

so after posting yesterday about me texting MrForeign about our 2nd datw (no one replied 😢 but this thread moves fast) i still havent heard back from him! he has read receipts on, he still hasnt read it. meh.

date*

stmoritz me too with perfect before we met, realised he was as camp as Christmas when we met. We are still in touch though and will meet again but we both agreed the chemistry wasn't there.......Shame cos he is a lovely guy.

Just spoke to architect on the phone, he is here all week next week he tells me........his voice is like velvet. I will try see if we can have dinner while he is here, but I have my kids until next Thursday. He said he had a meeting soon and it was good to talk to me to warm up his voice.

Kin – I hope you have a lovely time either way!
MissCatt – think you had a lucky escape there, I think dick pics would be an immediate block from me.
Peaceful – well done! Definitely the right decision I think. And this Dial a Soldier bloke sounds interesting ...!
Cover – I’m not really bothered about kisses on messages. I tend not to at the beginning but then the odd one sneaks in and generally they stay.
Runs – the meetup sounds good, hope you have a fab time!

Well, my date last night went very well! Wasn’t as full on phwoar as I imagined it would be but still passes the worktop test … very much hoping that date two actually happens! Not getting overinvested though so we’ll see what happens. There are a few other people in the early stages of messages, plus MrTeacherTraining who has never said anything remotely flirty and I'm not sure if he just likes the random chat!

esk1mo where is he from? I have quite a few european friends and live in Portugal. Here people still tend to pick up the phone and are not big texters. And they don't just banter really, they will answer if it is a direct question.

Eeeshk, sorry esk1mo I meant to read back properly but Match was blowing up, then I crashed out.

Yeah, the Why Men Love Bitches book would probably have something to say about that 😉
Try not to stress too much; if he’s interested he will be in touch soon and if your suggesting something put him off then: his loss.

I’ll probably get run off the Thread by posters brandishing pointy sticks, but I really do like the man to do the asking/suggesting/“chasing” (for want of a better word, cos that is wank) early on. I don’t play games (eg wait twice as long to text back etc though I don’t generally double message) but I do like to give them space to decide if I’m worth, well yeah, “pursuing”.

Not sure if this is by virtue of my age (and that the last time I was properly single was 2001) but it’s how I’ve always been. If I made the moves/set the pace I know I’d just feel really off

Sweet sounds promising and a wise approach

Pudding you realise that we are also now falling in love with Mr Architect, right? ... voice like velvet... Hope you can arrange dinner. Any chance of a babysitter? Hell, I'll come over and sit for you, I'm so invested in this haha!

esk Sorry no one replies this thread does move at 100 miles an hour but I am so glad I found it!

I scrolled back and found your message about MrForeign - I don’t think your message about the cinema was inappropriate but I would of maybe left the ball in his court. I guess that’s only because, same as you I’ve come across as too eager before and I’m trying to learn my lesson !

Well after MrAnACompleteTwat stood me up after I had spent the entire day getting ready, hairdressers, waxing, new outfit - you name it I did it (learnt my lesson there but it was supposed to be my first date, well first anything with a man in seven years) I went on PoFs meet me and just randomly liked peoples faces. I wasn’t very discerning, didn’t do my usual of reading their profiles, checking their age, height, common interest ect. If they had a nice face I liked them.

I then got a message from a guy ten years younger than me that said ‘What’s a beautiful lady like you doing on a dating website on a Saturday night?’. Well I told him in detail, that I had been stood up, that I hadn’t been near a man in seven years, that I had spent a fortune and a lot of time and effort getting ready. Oh my lord talk about oversharing (please bare in mind I had three glasses of wine by this point). I received a message back that said ‘This is not a request. Get your coat and shoes and meet me at *** in 20mins, I will wait for you outside - do not keep me waiting with a winky face’.

I telephoned my friend and she said what have you got to lose, it’s a public place and I know where you are - your night can’t be ruined anymore. So I went. I turned up and met a stranger ten years younger than me having only exchanged two messages. Honestly I still can’t believe I did it. He turned out to be ex. RAF, very confident and self-assured for someone so much younger than me. We had a few drinks, he told me he wasn’t looking for a relationship but was attracted to older woman. He took me home and I had the best sex I ever had. I saw him once more after that.

The second time he messaged me and said are you free? I didn’t answer as I was busy and when I did I said no but I will be later at 6.30. He messaged back immediately and said ‘As punishment for not answering me immediately you will not talk. When I knock on the door you will not say Hello, you will not say a word the whole time I am there any you will not say goodbye. Have a scarf waiting. I will be there at 6.30. Do you understand?’

He turned up in his full RAF uniform - not talking wasn’t a problem as I was struck dumb !

Hence the name MrFiftyShadesofDialaSoldier.

cover I'm the same, I like dates to contact me and do the chasing. I'm not sure at what stage that should stop though and I reciprocate more? My friend has accused me of being really old fashioned and not giving enough back maybe a few weeks in to chatting/dating/calling I should start to suggest dates and be more forthcoming?

Lucky you peaceful will you see him again

misscatt That is funny. He is so lovely :) He is 10 years younger than me though . I will wait see when he suggests meeting up and see if I can engineer it after work, when the kids aren't here.

I was thinking of texting him that he can call me whenever he needs his voice warming up, but then I chickened out. Because his voice is very soothing, so mutually beneficial. I just babble a lot on the phone. Haha!

peacefulposter I guess when we are brave, sometimes it pays off. Sounds like a film!

Peaceful O.M.G. Best story ever!!!

Wow peaceful that was like reading something out of a book.... what a lucky lady you are! 💖

Peaceful OMG! I now see how he got his name! (I was wondering too)

Pudding I am definitely a little in love with Mr Architect too

The trouble was as exciting as both times were, and my God they were amazing. I'm a 38 year old single mum and I just want a normal relationship, someone I can share my life with. Don't get me wrong, I want great sex too but in reality how would following instructions fit in with my seven year old? Neither of us are compatible for a relationship (but it's nice to have his number at hand if I need a distraction on a child free night ). If anything it totally changed my opinion on what a good sexual relationship can be like after a series of really bad experiences and opened my eyes - wasn't a bad way to end my seven year drought! Just not very realistic in the long term!

Pudding I am rooting for Mr Architecture too, he sounds perfect!

bloody hell Peaceful! That sounds bloody fab actually ...