Dating Thread 128: the one without a catchy title

[RunsforCake14]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

Pudding Totally agree with Kin above! He's... interested! Your gut is telling you this anyway, I think, but self-protection then kicks in and holds you back. But I understand that.

IKR Mum Sooo original.

Well I'm meant to be having a phone chat with new iron Mr Property this evening. He messaged a flirty text first thing, we exchanged a couple of messages, then nothing all day. Nothing to say what time we should chat. I'd already mentioned early evening... so don't know if he's going to call or not. But as I type he's active on the dating site we met on. So I'm not chasing him up! (Should I?) He's no doubt sending the same dick pic to other women as I type...

Kin but a nice woman will recognise a nice guy...

Dear God, Pudding, If he resembles Mr A then he is GORGEOUS!! Just keep talking to him (as you have been). I bet he's worried about the professional thing. If you can fit in another dinner somehow or other, that may help ...

Did I mention he was GORGEOUS?

Kin My fingers are crossed for you!

MissCatt Fingers crossed for you too! Though the dick pic would be a red flag for me. Though I do see your dilemma if he is also gorgeous!

Just on my way out to see a tinder iron. Only chatted very briefly, know very little about him. Handsome but seven years younger than me, do doubt it’ll lead anywhere. But it’s something to do on a Thursday night! I’ll update at some point during the evening

By the way, could someone explain ‘moose burgers’ to me please? I even googled it today but just found lots of recipes for actual moose burgers

Moose burgers are a special type of patty made from bodily fluids and heated to perfection with plenty of friction.

St good luck! I'm shortly to have a first phone call with a handsome guy 7 years younger. It doesn't matter! I've never dated anyone older than me since I've been single. Good for the self-esteem!

Lol Kin

Ginny Yes it is a bit of a red flag and he's probably a player, but if you'd seen the pic, you'd still be interested if you know what I mean!!! I did end up just dropping him a message asking if he still wanted to chat. He replied immediately saying yes. So that's happening very shortly! Will report back afterwards... I never meet them now without a phone chat first. It's saved me lots of time!

MissCatt I do know what you mean

Kin

StM Hope you have fun!

Well slap my arse and call me Betty: Match is on fire 🔥

So I’ll need to read back and catch up, but I thought I’d download who’s in the frame after less than 24hrs on the site.
(Maybe I’m giving off some kind of signal, if so maybe HRT is magic 😮)

First off: this guy 🙄

You lot are so funny! I can feel you as my wing men/ women.

I just had a horrible exchange with my twatty emotionally abusive ex. When things are calm between us I feel ok about dating, then when he starts being a twat again all those feelings resurface and I want to crawl back in a hole. I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but it shows me I am not quite ready, unless it feels absolutely right.

So i took the courage to bin off phone sex guy, he sent crying emojis, told me how much he wants me etc and that he will wait. If he messages me again I am going to block. He doesn;t sound like a guy who will get the message. Another needy person in my life I do not need.

On a positive note I spent some 1:1 times with my 10 year old today. My twatty ex keeps asking him if I have a boyfriend and he mentioned to me that there are "apps" that you can go on to meet people. I asked him how he knew that and he said the "amazing world of gumball". Who knew, he thinks I should meet someone. He is such a love.

So, time to get make sure my head is in the right place. maybe that is why i like Mr Architect so much, because he seems a bit unobtainable and therefore "safe". I think I am petrified, not of me falling in love, but someone else falling in love with me if that makes any f**king sense at all.

covermelads ahahahahahaah! Maybe he moved ;)

Cover I've had a very similar message on Match. And a follow up that said "I'm waiting for your reply" - after I'd replied to say he was too far away.

well just an update to my post yesterday.
I ended things with mr 3 months mainly cos of him not being that into me which showed in various ways, but also because he was always on pof !
Am going to compile a list of lessons I have learned and new standards as I seem to fall into the same problems over and over and don't learn!
it's so bloody hard out there! am going to take a bit of time out from the dating and maybe give it another whirl in a few weeks. in the meantime I look forward to hearing what you lot are up to!

So new iron said he'd call me just after 8. Cool, I said. Has he called? Has he buggery! But he's been on whatsapp a few times! I'm sitting on my hands trying not to text him. He's rapidly turning into Mr Twunt

Guy 1: 2nd message “have you been on the site long? Had any dates?”
Me: “about 8 hours so that’s a no” (asks question about his job)
Guy 1: (ignores Q about job) “were you on other sites before this one?”
Me: “yes, POF for a couple of months, might go back on there too. Why do you ask?”
Guy 1: silence.

Ok, buh-bye.

Now to the irons:

Mr Cure: he’s over 6 foot and he shares my love of Fat Bob. I may have to marry him.

Mr Cuddlybeard: possibly a tad short but seems nice and has asked me in a date already. So I’m going to meet him on Sunday.

Mr Thin: I weigh a couple more stone than he does, but that doesn’t seem to bother him. Has said his subs are up in a few days and given me his number 🤔 but I’ve said I’ll need to know you better before you get mine. How much says a dick pic once we get onto What’s App? Is quite a bit older than me, but looks younger. Says they’re recent pics. So I say he’s either got a portrait in the attic or has had Botox.

Mr Twinkly: bit young, convo so far confined to music and am not feeling any real connection, but hey.

Mr Cards: lots in common. I’d meet him for sure if he asked.

Plus a few “hey beautiful” type messages I’ve just deleted out of hand. 2 of the above have clearly read my profile to the end so they get props.

Now to catch up properly....

So tonigh after four months, four bloody months I get a message from MrIAmACompleteTwat. This is the guy who we text all day every day and FaceTime everynight for two weeks. We Facetimed the Friday night and spoke about how excited we both were. He text me after Facetiming to say he couldn't wait. Saturday came and nothing, nothing for four months until a message out the blue this morning. Talk about a head f**k. This is the guy that sent me down a path that led me to my first ever one night stand!

What makes it worse is his message was actually quite lovely!

So Mr New Iron Twunt never called. I just texted him and told him it was his loss and now I'm just about to block him. Just goes to show... dick pics within 12 hours of chatting don't bode well!! It WAS a red flag. He's pretty and he knows it. Yawn.
I'm bothered/not bothered. Bothered just because it shows there are so many players out there - men and women too, I'm sure. He's probably married... whatevs. I've got too much work to do for all this shit anyway.

Cover you make me smile!

Peaceful that really sucks. His message may have been lovely, but his behaviour shows that he's not. If at all possible, I'd block him and try to move on. I know how hard it is and easy to see from the outside, but he sounds like a mindfuck. Do you need that?

Well... I'm sure you can all guess but I've just spent the most heavenly five days with Mr TC. He worked very hard on Friday in terms of sending me huge messages and then I met him on Saturday and it seems he had just panicked. His dating profile is deleted and, more importantly, I didn't get THAT Valentine's Card . I was laughing when I asked him if he was really going to send a card with his face on and he said he thought I'd like it because I do tell him he's a handsome man. I've searched and searched and I cannot see any controlling, arrogant, blame-shifting or duplicitous qualities. He was mortified when he realised how bad it all looked. I know everything there is to know. I've stayed in his home and I've been fed really good home-cooked food and I've been totally loved and nourished spiritually. Next weekend I meet his DC and after that he wants me staying over and feeling a complete part of his life. The friendship, laughter, complete ease in each other's company and phenomenal sexual chemistry cannot be thrown away over what I truly believe is a timing issue. If I'd asked him to delete his dating profile weeks before I'm convinced he would have deleted it there than. I can't rewrite that bit of our history but I can look at what's in front of me with the forensic objectivity I need to do my job and weigh it all up and take a decision with a clear head. He's had his one pass... now I'll put on my tin hat and cower under the hypocritic's bench!

*hypocrite

I never talk on the phone before a date. I've done it twice and I find it a pain. It tells me nothing useful as I'm a writing slut and I have to hang around waiting for the allotted call time which ruins my morning or afternoon or evening.

Thanks Catt. The message arrived this morning but it took me until tonight to read it. I replied (I know I’m an idiot) and told him I appreciated his apology but that his actions had hurt me in so many different ways. Five messages later and I could feel myself being reeled in again and falling for his chat (and the thought of his lovely face). I’ve just messaged him and said I that we can’t turn the clock back. He read it and as he was typing a reply I blocked him. I want to go there again but I know I shouldn’t and I won’t. How many times do I have to say ‘I deserve better’ before I actually believe it.

Peaceful You've done the right thing, and you're not an idiot. I think it shows you're strong. You recognise he hurt you and you've taken action to see he can't do it again. I think that's amazing. And oh yes, the whole 'reeling in' thing. I'm so familiar with it. And the lovely face... the lovely times shared... it's such a pull. But what if it was all a lie? Which deep down, we know it IS. A good person who deserves us doesn't behave like this, period. I totally get the 'how many times before I actually believe it' thing that you say! Resonates deeply with me! But we DO deserve better. Our guts tell us one thing (the truth) but our hopes/dreams/hearts tell us maybe we're wrong and this is the fairy tale. We WANT to be wrong, so we don't have to keep searching for love. But if it feels wrong, it IS wrong. Well done you, anyway!! I just blocked a very early idiotic iron this eve - pretty dick pics and all. I'd probably not have done that not so long ago and given him a chance. But my boundaries and self-respect are growing after my horrific experience last summer. I feel good about that. That at least I learned something. Stay strong! :)

Been I'm a bit confused about how it was a 'timing issue' and uneasy that you're basically taking the blame/responsibility for it by saying that you should have told him to delete his profile. The whole story was really suss but you've obviously heard his side and if you're happy with it that's what matters. I hope it all works out.

Peaceful I totally agree with everything Miss said; you've been really strong. Sorry about Mr DickPrick too Miss - as you say, boundaries and self respect are where it's at!

Good morning everyone, this is your captain speaking. The sky is clear and the forecast promising, with a slight chance of moose burgers. I'd like to thank you for flying with Dating Thread Airlines and wish you a present trip in Milan.

Or something like that.

Update upon my return...