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Original poster

Should I presume date is still on?

405 replies

lnging · 31/01/2018 12:46

So we arranged dare Monday night (day time place etc)

Yesterday we exchanged 2 messages in morning and his last one was just saying restaurant we are going to has "steak &lobster Wednesday" and was I ok with that? Responded "it sounded great"

Haven't heard since which is fine don't want to chat to much before date.

So today's date night and heard nothing, should I presume it's still on or should I be waiting for/sending confirmation text?

Would you just arrive at arranged time without confirmation

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 31/01/2018 23:58

There is no way he didn't have time to text you 'sorry - family emergency - I'll explain later but have to reschedule tonight x'

He could've sent that from the loo ffs.

If it's true then he's a thoughtless twonk so you're best off out of it anyway.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 01/02/2018 00:07

8 months pregnant and with a ten month baby? No way.

Myheartbelongsto · 01/02/2018 00:31

My first two are 10 months apart so it is possible.

He's bullshitting you though.

RaySwan · 01/02/2018 00:58

Hi. Just want to give my input but I’m a guy and I have a reasonable idea as to how guys work.

Personally I think he’s not interested, or he is interested but is attached.

I say this because if I was this guy in this situation and single, if I was really interested then I would go out of my way to explain either way why I could or couldn’t make the date.

Obviously I can’t speak for all men but this is how I see it.

Btw you look fab. His loss.

1DAD2KIDS · 01/02/2018 06:16

I'm gutted you. Esecially because from the sounds of it you waited to find a guy that sounds decent.

I just can't believe he stood you up like that. It's ok to change your mind on wanting to date someone but have the balls to text the person and say. It not easy to get a babysitter and time when you have kids. The guy is a tottal shit.

I suppose on the other hand he has shown his true colours and you have dodged a bullet.

helenoftroyville · 01/02/2018 06:52

The bit about his sister (and her womb) sounds true, I don't think it is the reason why he stood you up, I think he's just not very keen and couldn't be bothered doing the right thing.

Don't put up with being by treated like this, he doesn't deserve another chance.

Coyoacan · 01/02/2018 07:00

Glad you made the best of it. The only other good thing is that you haven't wasted months with that bastard.

FluffyWhiteTowels · 01/02/2018 07:19

Hmmm sounds like a lie with a thread of truth. Perhaps it's sister in law with pains and his wife was called round to help and he then had to look after his own child? Lateness of text was because it was hoping she'd return in time for him to go out (to meet a mate!)

You looked amazing OP.

Mookie81 · 01/02/2018 07:35

The unnecessary detail about his sister's womb suggests to me he's bullshitting xx

Next!

Thanxpanx · 01/02/2018 07:39

You looked really nice and to be honest you don't need to give time to an idiot.

He could easily have texted and he decided to ignore you. Knowingly upsetting you before your first date. Men are on their best behaviour in the first few months & he can't even be bothered to behave decently at the very beginning. Christ sake. Surely you are worth more than that. By keeping in contact you're telling him it's ok to be a twat to me I'm a pushover.

demirose87 · 01/02/2018 07:54

Keep us updated OP about whether he grovels to you now or does a disappearing act. I would tell him that you went, make him feel shit and realise you don't treat people like that. But don't be taken in by his lies.

longta · 01/02/2018 09:12

Sounds like bollocks to me, but it's irrelevant anyway.

He could have cancelled sooner, he didn't bother. Don't reward him with another chance.

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 01/02/2018 09:26

Excellent mansplaining there Ray! Hmm

OP, best case scenario is that he's telling the truth about his sister...which means he's an inconsiderate arse for not letting you know sooner. Worst case, he is married/attached/a player and is spinning you a line. Either way, don't waste any more headspace on trying to figure it out, he's not worth it. You sound awesome (and looked gorgeous!!) It takes quite a lot of character to turn what could have been a disappointing evening into what sounds like a lovely night out.

LesisMiserable · 01/02/2018 09:41

As if you've just gone in on Ray for basically sharing your position Confused what a cnty response ITold*. Jeeez

BifsWif · 01/02/2018 09:50

Uncalled for ITold. Are men not allowed to give their perspective?

Original poster
lnging · 01/02/2018 09:54

Ok he may be telling the truth he may not, even if it was the truth he could of just sent "not going to make it will explain later"

Like I said I just responded no worries to his explaining essay

I think he probably got talking to someone else on OLD since our date was arranged and prob got all excited bout her... it appears some men like to put all their eggs in one basket... which is a big mistake when it comes to OLD

Either way I'm not stressing over it, if it's true and he really is sorry etc then he would now be going out his way to rearrange etc... so far nothing....his lost

OP posts:
Onecutefox · 01/02/2018 10:08

Either way I'm not stressing over it, if it's true and he really is sorry etc then he would now be going out his way to rearrange etc

OP, he just didn't want to come otherwise he had numerous times to send you a message or call you. He did go online so he had time for other people other than his family.
Nevertheless, you met some old colleagues at that place and you looked super. Aim higher and forget the looser.

Estellanpip · 01/02/2018 10:11

You've handled this so well and with the right attitude. I'm cross on your behalf, though- this could have really knocked another woman's confidence!
There is no excuse for what he did. If something cropped up, then you make it your priority to save someone the trouble of putting themselves out on your behalf and let them know asap, not wait until after you've stood them up.

I also find it very strange that his default lie is to do with pregnancy and the ins and outs of his sister's womb. Weirdo. BLOCK.

Maniacmum · 01/02/2018 11:08

My feeling is that his escape route has happened previously to either himself or someohe knows & he has kept in his mind to yse it as a get-out when needed.

No excuse or reason whatsoever for his appalling treatment.

Glad you had a nice evening without a pillock.

cloudchasing · 01/02/2018 11:48

Ah well, even if you'd given him a second chance, he's blown it. To not be in touch since last night after he treated you so badly speaks volumes.

baxtersmum · 01/02/2018 12:00

Was really hoping he'd show but you are better off without him.

Taking a leap I would replace 'sister' with 'wife' and that might be the truth. He's online flirting as feeling left out now he has twins and another on the way (I've seen this happen similarly to a friend). But I am perhaps being unfair to this person - just my theory. Could explain why unable to call you...

Onwards and upwards for you. You deserve better and there are plenty of very decent chaps out there!

longta · 01/02/2018 12:35

baxter, wouldn't it be lovely if there were plenty of decent chaps out there? Extremely eligible friends tell me otherwise however.

KinkyAfro · 01/02/2018 12:39

Probably his twins and his wife is pregnant again

Original poster
lnging · 01/02/2018 12:46

Really I would on rather he just didn't send the apology just now makes him look even more of a twat!

I'm already back swiping on dating apps, to be fair they are pretty rubbish and I only find across a message worth replying to once ever 5 months or so but intend to up my game... may even try zoosk, haven't used that before but maybe paying sites are more worthwhile

OP posts:
Original poster
lnging · 01/02/2018 12:47

The one thing I fine really unattractive in men is flakyness

OP posts:
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