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Original poster

Follow on from my AIBU thread 'to be sad about DP spending Christmas at his exes'

731 replies

Tumbleweeds24 · 29/01/2018 00:03

Had to start a new thread here. I posted in aibu in December as I was 36 weeks pregnant and my partner was spending Xmas at his exes.

I suspected foul play and finally found out today that they slept together on Christmas day, she's now pregnant. He's been lying to us both for months and when I went to speak to his ex in person he's done a runner saying nobody will ever see him again and turned his phone off. He's also fucked me over in not paying the rent.

Currently cradling my 2 week old son wondering wtf I'm going to do.

OP posts:
Worldsworstcook · 03/02/2018 17:13

And yes he is watching rugby!

OP you seem so much stronger now since your first post. The initial rage and betrayal has subsided and you are able to see more clearly now. Listen to your rocking tunes, nuzzle the most important male in your life and consider all the wonders of your DS your scumbag DP will miss in the coming years.

Lndnmummy · 03/02/2018 17:15

I hope you and your little have a lovely weekend all drama free. You have come such a long way in a short space of time. You should be very proud of yourself ❤️

StepAwayFromGoogle · 03/02/2018 19:06

I am so angry on your behalf, OP, she is a piece of work. And in hindsight I'm so glad you sent her that spiteful text from your ex. Serves her right. She took a punt on getting pregnant winning him back and it has massively backfired. I hope they both f*ck off and leave you and your lovely son alone now. Hugs.

Original poster
Tumbleweeds24 · 03/02/2018 19:16

Thank you ladies, i appreciate the support

I'm doing okay today, absolutely shattered due to little man having not slept much but each day that passes I feel a little better. A little less overwhelmed.

He called me this morning, I didn't answer. I text him saying if you're calling about your dad coming to get your stuff then text me the time, if not then leave me be.

He didn't text back, so he was clearly going to harp on about everything other than his stuff. I'm not prepared to listen to it yet, I need the headspace.

Still no regrets sending her his spiteful messages. I hope she's feeling as crap as I did the first few days :-)

OP posts:
StepAwayFromGoogle · 03/02/2018 23:06

You are doing an absolutely amazing job at being strong and getting through this @Tumble, a massive MN slap on the back and round of applause to you x

SugaredSocks · 05/02/2018 11:07

How are you getting on Tumble?

Original poster
Tumbleweeds24 · 05/02/2018 14:19

I'm not too bad thank you, I've had a few teary episodes, but I'm doing ok. Planning on going for a few drinks out on Saturday so I'm looking forward to that. It's been forever since i let my hair down

OP posts:
SugaredSocks · 05/02/2018 14:57

That sounds like a good idea a bit of relaxation goes a long way. Flowers

Magpie18 · 05/02/2018 15:46

Another lurker here, just want to wish you well! Those idiots have truly done you the biggest favour ever. Of course you'll have down times, but honestly nothing like what you were facing with them in your life.

Onwards and upwards, you've got your beautiful boy & a great life ahead of you! Xx

Original poster
Tumbleweeds24 · 05/02/2018 19:49

Aww thank you very much

I won't let them ruin this special time for me. Tobys 3 weeks old now and it's going so fast, I'm making the most of every second. I've got my priorities in check and them two aren't on the list :)

I don't know where he's staying and I don't really care, but I'll bet it's not a bench in the woods!

OP posts:
Coyoacan · 05/02/2018 23:27

That is great news, Tumble.

Mxyzptlk · 06/02/2018 10:13

I'll bet it's not a bench in the woods!
Pity! Grin

Who cares what those losers are doing, you've got someone more important to think about. Flowers

Original poster
Tumbleweeds24 · 06/02/2018 12:39

I have indeed :)

He's having his BCG injections today, can't believe he'll be a month old in 5 days it's crazy how quickly these first weeks pass.

I'm sad that I'll never get this time back, that a part of it was taken up by such a load of rubbish, but no point me dwelling is there?

OP posts:
Hortonlovesahoo · 06/02/2018 13:10

Think how much time you would have wasted if you had stayed with him? The one really does fly at that age

Weezol · 06/02/2018 13:24

Yy to what Horton says - imagine if you'd carried on until T's first birthday! You got out in the first 30 days of your child's life and should be incredibly proud of your achievements. I think you rock.

He'd only have cheated on the bench in the woods by seeing a bench in the park on the sly. There would be little benches all over the place...

Original poster
Tumbleweeds24 · 06/02/2018 13:59

Very true, rather now than when little man is old enough to know something is wrong

and LOL to the benches part, that tickled me a little more than it should!

OP posts:
Motoko · 06/02/2018 14:21

To be honest Tumble, I don't remember much from any of my children's first few weeks! Try not to worry about it.

Original poster
Tumbleweeds24 · 06/02/2018 19:53

That makes me feel a little better tbh

Got a text from him an hour ago, he's having the snip he says. Shame he didn't think of that before Christmas eh

OP posts:
SugaredSocks · 06/02/2018 20:30

Yeah but if he’d had it done earlier would you ever have found out what he’d done? Also most of us find that the first few months of our baby’s lives are a bit of a white knuckle ride and gets blurred by the irregular sleep. Not that it makes it any less special though Flowers

Original poster
Tumbleweeds24 · 06/02/2018 20:57

I think I'd have found out eventually because her sister was itching to let the cat out of the bag, the ex herself probably wouldn't have said anything out of misguided loyalty to him.

On the day it all came out before I marched him round there he text his ex saying "don't speak to her don't text her" so she ignored my Facebook message, instead messaged him to let him know I was trying to get in touch. It's her sister who revealed all to begin with.

It's definitely best I found out when I did, rather than carry on with him thinking everything is fine then find out about it once the baby was born. I dread to think how much deeper I'd have been in with him by then.

I thought I wanted to marry him eventually. Silly old me

OP posts:
inlectorecumbit · 06/02/2018 20:58

Castration might be more appropriate Grin

Original poster
Tumbleweeds24 · 06/02/2018 21:01

Haha yes! With a rusty knife!

OP posts:
Original poster
Tumbleweeds24 · 06/02/2018 21:03

On a brighter note I've got some lovely new bedding and there's not a single trace of the bastard left in my bedroom :-D

OP posts:
DotCottonDotcom · 06/02/2018 21:43

Got a text from him an hour ago, he's having the snip he says. Shame he didn't think of that before Christmas eh

That’s her problem , not yours. 😂

Fucking proud of you!

Original poster
Tumbleweeds24 · 06/02/2018 22:13

Aww thank you so much Dot x

OP posts:
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