Follow on from my AIBU thread 'to be sad about DP spending Christmas at his exes'

[Tumbleweeds24]

Had to start a new thread here. I posted in aibu in December as I was 36 weeks pregnant and my partner was spending Xmas at his exes.

I suspected foul play and finally found out today that they slept together on Christmas day, she's now pregnant. He's been lying to us both for months and when I went to speak to his ex in person he's done a runner saying nobody will ever see him again and turned his phone off. He's also fucked me over in not paying the rent.

Currently cradling my 2 week old son wondering wtf I'm going to do.

Echoing everyone else, keep your distance from the lot of them. They all sound toxic.

Even his own father is painting the ex as villain he is the one that’s the villain here. No doubt in a few years the same father will be describing you the same way. His loyalty will always be with his son.

Just caught up after following your first thread.

I just wanted to say I think you are amazing Tumbleweed. Your little boy is lucky to have a Mum who will protect him from all this crap and drama.

Hope you and Toby will soon be able to move on from al if this. Be kind to yourself xx

winter completely agree.

I’d take your ex’ dad’s comments with a massive pinch of salt. He is making excuses for his son’s behaviour if he describes his other ex as controlling. It’s not entirely unlikely that his father has similar manipulative traits. I’m not advocating trusting the other woman fully either but don’t expect the father to be unbiased. And there is probably some massive, self-serving agenda there in that he wants you to take that plonker back, so daddy isn’t stuck with an oversized, stinky man-child! You said yourself in your last thread, how you had to push and remind him to do basic adult 1.1 stuff. That could so easily be twisted into describing you just as controlling. Everyone has an agenda by the sounds of it. Just take a step back and focus on your and your child. Sort out the practicalities of housing and other financial support, as soon as you feel up to it. The gaming adult toddler is nowhere on the immediate to-do list.

Do you have any other children OP?

I thought that throughout when talking to the dad, he wants me to take him back so he and his partner aren't lumbered with him on their sofa for weeks or months.

Ah well he can be his problem now If he lets him lodge there. It'll save me at least a quid a week on air freshener lol

He punched himself in the face for sympathy?

Please Tumbleweed block this man, his ex and her sister now. The last thing you need right now is them all on your shoulder, getting in your head and filling it with their poison.

The next thing will be no doubt he’s tried to take his life (even if he hasn’t) and you don’t deserve any fall out from that. None of them deserve your head space. The ex has her own agenda clearly and shouldn’t be trusted. His Dad is biased as the waste of skin is his son and remember whatever he is saying about the ex he could soon be saying about you. And you defiantly don’t deserve that.

I’m glad your landlord is understanding. That’s a positive.

Fuck me he's mental. You seem to be dealing with it so well especially with having a newborn too, just adding my support I guess. Well done, you seem to be doing everything for your child. You're already an amazing mum, sorry he's such an arse!

Motherofasurvior no I don't have any other dc

Yep. Punching his own face for sympathy. It's all a bit mental isn't it?

A shock to the system to say the least, I've gone from being happy with my home life albeit except a few minor annoyances, to this. In 24 hours.

Oh and he's pulled the "I tried to kill myself" in the past so I was told last night so yeah that'll probably come up sooner or later with him

having a baby with somebody he will be tied to for life is a deal breaker and I couldn't move past or live with that if I tried.

It's not even just that, though.
It's all the lies he told you the whole time he was with you. He wouldn't know the truth if it punched him in the face. (Maybe it actually did, haha.)

Yeah take his Dad's comments with a pinch of salt. He is trying to pit you against the ex so you forgive his son and focus your anger on her instead. He should be criticising his lying, cheating, aggressive, child support dodging son. And 'trap' him? He has 3 kids and appears to have impregnated her repeatedly so I'm sure he is aware how babies are made.

I have given birth to another child yes, some years ago. They don't live with me so I didn't want to bring that up on here. It's a sore subject if I'm being honest, I didn't want this thread to become about that and take away from my current situation that I needed advice on. That's why I said I had no other DC, as that child is not in my care. Sorry if it seems I was deceptive I didn't mean to be I just didn't want to talk about that

Tumble you do not need to justify yourself or any part of your life. You have every right to come here and ask advice keeping whatever other parts of your life private. It was not right to bring that up mother and Tumble you can ask for that to be removed if you wish. No need to get this thread derailed. Mother, OP has said she is in south London, no need at all to post land link to private information she has previously posted in good faith. No need at all.

Mother what was the point of asking if she has other children when you knew the answer? Come on, she is young and vulnerable and has just given birth. It really wasn’t necessary. Pls report to have that removed.

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. You're coping amazingly well. I would really recommend blocking all of them...the police drama with the sister, the pregnant ex and that absolute dickhead. You don't need any extra worry and stress at the moment. Cocoon yourself away with your beautiful baby, talk to your aunt and confide on your long-term friends. Let them all get on with their dramatics.

It's just that on MN there are a lot of trolls and people who change significant parts of their story to dramatise the threads. There are also writers who create fictitious 'stories' to gauge reactions.
I asked a question then explained why I asked. I did also state that I didn't disbelieve anything else that was said by OP.

I definitely am not doing that here. I came for much needed advice and I assure all on here that there's no dramatization going on, everything I've spoke about is indeed happening as much as I wish it wasn't

And MN has specifically asked users not to troll hunt, it was really wrong to bring this up and potentially discourage the op from coming back to seek support. You have been hugely supportive on this thread. I’m not going to criticise you. I just worry for the op that’s all.

I understand why MNers would be cautious about potential trolls, I assure you I am not though. I've asked for those two posts to be removed, the initial and my reply, as to not discourage anybody else from coming on to contribute. I hope people can see I'm being genuine and this is all very real for me

@Lndnmummy You wouldn't be saying that if OP had turned out to be a troll though?

Also, I have not at any point 'Trollhunted' I asked a question whilst making it clear I did NOT dispute what she had said. That isn't troll hunting

Mother, I think we need to agree to disagree. I think it was poor judgment and unkind thing to do and I stand by that. I don’t want this thread to be derailed further as the OP clearly needs support.