NC Dignity Club Pt 4: The Only Way Is Up

[Basseting]

Welcome to the No Contact Dignity Club Part 4

If you are aiming for it, trying to maintain it, being 'offered' it, coming back to it... NC support is here!

that was for Enirroc btw.

pssst. can we all come in under your blanket, bringing tea/cake/wine/apples/insertfavouritetreat and giggle your blues away for you?

Who's blanket are you trying to get under Basseting I can't keep up with you 😂

Hi ladies

basseting I know you have sent it now but also liked your final draft response. I really don't understand what he expected to gain from sending you porn. Counselling refresher sounds perfect. When I had cbt I didn't find the counsellor sympathetic enough she came across as too strong to ever have the boundary issues I have. I would much rather have talked to someone who could understand. Same principle as a health visitor I had that had no children. She didn't get it.

oldbrook you do sound strong. Glad that the urge has gone.

I also need to know about doing the kinky pianist

NK massive congrats on 30 days! Seems fitting you are out this weekend. Enjoy yourself. I like your list. The messaging you back straight away one, do you think you can stick to it. Some people are so strong in this way, especially in OLD just next.. where as I linger.

NK anyone that'll have me ....

Boundary issues, moi?

(didn't Enirroc say she was retreating under a blanket? I thought she meant she was mis so suggested a blanket party to cheer her up. We could do Karaoke too?

Ha ha . I'll join in too but no wine for me still dry January. Just!

NK Teens well done on reduced SM. I deactivated my Facebook etc so I can't stalk NC anymore.

Oh and on songs the other day. Jar of hearts is a good one too

anxious glad it's not just me being nosey!

re counsellors - a very mixed bag I find. I found an amazing one in my early 20's who literally helped 'save my life' and made me want to go into the field. I then did a Russell Group Uni Postgrad Diploma where the teaching practice and level of self awareness of the other 'graduates' was frankly frightening. I've met some good, mediocre and barking mad colleagues. It seems to attract extremes of people I think? It is also v hard to get NHS positions and the governing body in the UK leaves a bit to be desired (good thing this is anonymouse....)

Anxious
Jar of hearts is so sad and depressing ,its a no-no for me at this stage ,I need upbeat positive playlist..Coldplay is high on preferences atm

Hello I'm new here!

Ex partner- when we met he wasn't exactly single let's just say that. I was disgusted to find out he was perusing me when he was still with his current girlfriend. Through months and several low points in my life I managed to fall in love with him and we began a brief affair (him in a relationship and me single). (Please don't flame me I'm being honest)
It became clear he wouldn't leave his partner and I was very dependent on him. I became obsessive and annoying and he broke times with me over the past few months. I was heartbroken at a guy who told me he loved me and wanted to be with me completely broke ties off with me. I regret how it ended and only wanted to be friends in the end. I fell for the oldest trick in the book but was young and naive. Now I want to make amends because I don't like being on bad terms with anyone. 2 years on hes single now and i have a boyfriend but feel guilty for how things have ended. I feel I have pushed him away as a friend by being crazy and obsessive. I have a lot of abandonment issues due to the death of a lot of people close to me and I'm just so lost right now(taken off my previous thread)

I contacted him to make amends. He was very cold and if going my emails whilst laughing with his friend in the kitchen at work. We work in same department :(

Starting at day 1.

You're all amazing

*ignoring my emails not 'if going my emails'

Littlemiss welcome. Sounds like he sucked you and told loads of lies. Good idea to go NC, you owe him nothing and he doesn't even respect your privacy by showing your emails to a work colleague.

Thank you @NK. I have a lovely life now with a very supportive boyfriend but there's still that twang of feeling like a horrible person who ruined a friendship by being obsessive and unkind towards him. Like @ginger I lost my mum to cancer so feel my attachment issues are pretty big as well

Littlemiss you've tried to apologise and he rejected it. I firmly believe it's not possible to be friends with someone you've been intimate with. For me anyway I can't

littlemiss you've tried all you can do, if anything despite the way it ended he didn't cover himself in glory either. Nc sounds perfect now, put it behind you

Uplifting music is perfect for me right now too. I find music really affects my mood. Off the top of my head thinking about my running playlists, warning a lot is cheesy;

Kelly Clarkson - Stronger
Florence and the machine - Shake it off
Swedish House Mafia - Don't you worry child
Take That - Shine
Matt Skiba - good fucking bye (think it's about booze but most of the lyrics work )
Enimem - Not Afraid
Katy Perry - firework
Erasure - victim of love
The Killers - Mr Brightside
Seether - Rise above this
Whitney Houston - step by step
Pop evil - trenches

I'll ponder on more once I get dd to sleep

It's strange isn't it Oldbook. I often wonder do people in the social care sector forget to value and care for themselves because they are busy looking after others.

I am so fidgety and antsy tonight. Wish that blue moon would bog off.

I think it's the battle of the wills with me and my guy over who texts first. He is stubborn but I am determined.

Ah yes I was talking angst with her of hearts but happy I agree with the killers. Also Ho Hey The Lumineers.
You me at six my little star
Both sung to my babies
Buffalo stance neneh cherry ha so old school
I could go on forever. I think music and exercising is what has stopped me falling into my not eating zombie depression state.

How is everyone tonight?

NK why not try to hold out until after your night out?

Thanks Oldbook and Anxious. I won't be the one breaking contact even though I desperately want to. I've issues from years ago when I broke up with him. I wrote him a letter and he never replied. He contacted me about 8 months later and has apologised numerous times over the years but it has impacted on me a lot and hence my stand off.

There's definitely something in this blue moon. Just got a message

Oldbook that's shocking. You are the one in control now though