NC Dignity Club Pt 4: The Only Way Is Up

[Basseting]

Welcome to the No Contact Dignity Club Part 4

If you are aiming for it, trying to maintain it, being 'offered' it, coming back to it... NC support is here!

Him not Tim. Although I'm sure Tim is very lovely and quite shaggable!

Eni
Well he's made his choice, easy option or not he chose different path.
It's not a reflection on you in any way, you are not anyone's second best.
You need to look after number one here (())

Ginger
You have kids don't you.
You just can't allow shady people like him around you and children, seriously let this one go, for the safety and security of your family. Mother can't take risks. What if he gets you involved in some sticky situation/trouble with low??
How will you cope then?

Lol at Tim Ginger. Ha ha ha

Oldbook my guy. I think he was swept away by his feelings, as was I. He did say he couldn't stop thinking about me and I believe him but I think he is taking the easy route as he's had a hard few years. He's not a bad person but he's not particularly emotionally mature either.

I'm trying @Teensandfuture but it's so hard when I still feel the way I do...

BUT...

I switched the notifications off after sending him that message so I can't see if he replied or not. I feel so strong by not checking.

It must be hard not checking Enniroc

Oldbook your story definitely isn't over. Not sure about mine when communication is at zero! That's why I'd love an hour with my guy on our own. He would reveal all to me then as he is not able to be vague face to face. But that is not going to happen.

Oldbook
Lol at instant spark.
Reminds me of my banker date just before new year..he didn't feel the spark..
Surprised to hear it from grown up successful man but each to their own.
Hell be looking for that spark until it's too late.
I never have sparks flying at first but I grow into feelings and think it's a correct way

I keep looking at the app on my screen and not checking it, and I feel really powerful. I don't know, he might've said something nice and I'm being nasty... But it's how I feel.

I might delete the app.

Eni
Look at actions not words.
Words mean nothing.
I suppose you invested more into relationships than he did,that's why it means a lot to You.
I'm done with overinvesting with anyone.
I'm at best marching their efforts.
Which is none from my NC. He saws what he ripps..NC full swing from me..

@Teensandfuture he's nowhere near my kids any more. I'm not stupid. But they know we work together. And unfortunately unless I have any to lose my life saving and my current income it has to stay that way. But no. He is not involved with them. They do not see him or have any kind of crossover. Apart from my daughter who occasionally had to come to certain events we have to attend if I can't find a play date for her.

I don't impose my dubious relationship on my kids. Tried that once and it didn't work.

But thanks

How many day 1s can someone have? Because I'm on my zillionth today I'm afraid. I don't want to go into it all right now but it ended up in a kiss, which was fabulous but I still know I have to get out and detach, so am starting again - have told him I won't be in touch over the weekend, for starters, and have blocked him on the main messaging app we use to give myself some breathing space.

So don't worry ginger, you're not the only one who gets drawn back in now and then - scratching a physical itch is a great way to describe it. Old habits die hard I guess.

What's good is that I don't feel really bad or in the terrible desperate needy state I used to get in. It has definitely made a difference to know I have managed to detach before.

And I did my first Parkrun last week!! I was nearly last but am very proud of myself!

enirroc I love hearing you feeling the empowerment of silencing notifications - go you! I hope your weekend is stimulating and enjoyable despite all the stuff with that bloke.

nk I'm sorry you're not feeling properly valued at work, but I don't think it's a coincidence that you have come to that realisation while you're NC and moving on from your lad. It's like the space gives us clarity and courage to look at other areas where we're not being treated as well as we should be, like we can no longer put up with not having our true value recognised. Change does feel scary but wow, how great to stop putting up with 'less than'

Morning all.

Wow at the kiss Belonger how did that come about?

It was like a switch went on re: work. I'm not treated badly on a day to day basis but I am in general terms with pay, sick pay etc and yet what I do is very responsible. You could be right, maybe I'm looking at all aspects of my life and thinking I'm not putting up with stuff any longer.

Enirroc good luck at your course today?

He was very persistent nk and the physical attraction was just too irresistable! But I stopped it at that and am retreating to get my sensible head back on. I know it has no future and I want my clear head back.

I also found that the time we were in contact again I had that awful addictive relationship with my phone - I'm loving not feeling I need to be on it all the time today. I think my eyes actually started to go a bit bleary at one point, we were messaging so much! I don't think it's a healthy relationship that relies that much on the 'communication crack cocaine' of online chat

Thanks ladies!

I keep looking at the app but not opening it. I love knowing that it's there, but I don't HAVE to open it. He has no power.

That's brilliant Enirroc!

Apparently I missed by seconds last night. As I walked out of the social room, he walked in the opposite door

So much for him saying he wouldn't be here

I'm glad you missed him Enirroc. It means he really thinks you're not waiting around. He certainly appearing in lots of places for someone who said they wouldn't be there.

Belonger it is so hard to resist sometimes isn't it. That anxious feeling of waiting for a message is awful isn't It?