Man I like announced out the blue he’s getting married

[Eskio]

Hi, please help.. name changed for this as feel embarrassed.
Last August I met a guy and we see each other every day (we don't work together). I saw him first and thought he was gorgeous. There started to be eye contact, body language signs of attraction then gradually over the months between last summer and this Christmas we got talking and every day now we see each other and have these in depth conversations and have really got to know each other. I’m crazy about him and never met a man like him. Last week, he suddenly broke the news to me he’s getting married this year wtf!! Never ever once in all the time we’ve been talking mentioned any girlfriend but told me so much about himself!! I’m confused and upset. Played it completely cool when he told me and forced a smile and said ‘ahh congratulations’.
Why did he not mention a g/f before... then suddenly dropped this bombshell. He doesnt seem happy or excited about it. Just says how he wished he’d been single longer and how his life is boring and he never goes out or does anything!! There is such a huge spark of chemistry between us I feel so gutted I’ve met someone like him then to be told this

Wwyd.........

Well he is not very good at relationships is he?

I have something similar...a neighbour. Our girls are good friends when she visits him at the weekend. In and out of each other's houses...he takes them places...I do the same. We've texted loads, at least a year or so. I've been in the process of separating which he knows about but keeps out of which I respect. However he hasn't told me he has a gf. He deliberately avoided it when I went down the route of asking. He texts kisses and kiss faces....which are affectionate as we are talking about the kids in 90% our conversations. I don't know what to think.

He may have been enjoying the chat, flirting or not, but presumed you were too so it wasn't an issue. If you wanted more you could always have asked him out and then, lets assume the best, he would have told you he wasn't available.

I’m with the “ego boost” theory

I used to be in a big retail workplace with lots of (fairly creepy) male managers

The married guys would do this - they’d sort of make eye contact, “check women out” in a sort of “you’re so irresistible I can’t take my eyes off you even when I’m in an important accounts meeting” way.

Drop little “hints”, basically “putting out bait” to get the women to make the first move.

And of course if a woman makes the first move then they’re hoping it’s of the “come over to mine with a bottle of wine” kind. Or that she’ll be so keen on him she’ll do anything for him

It’s like they had good people manipulation skills (as well as an endless supply of cheap, shiny, suits ) and knew that if they “do 75% of the Work then pull back” the woman would often come running

One of the unmarried senior ones was dating X from the store a while because she was quite “safe” (single mum, older, provided him with home comforts and a house to cocklodge in and a dog to walk)

But NO-ONE knew about her for ages.

Whilst he was also putting out bait to all the “sexy younger ones” to see if he could “upgrade” (we all compared notes )

like a monkey, not letting go of a branch till it’s got another one

He had excellent “soft people skills” (ex Tesco superstore manager) so of course he fucking knew what he was doing. X left eventually.

I must admit he was charming (6’4 alpha male type) and if I’d met him independently outside of work I “would have”

but the sneakiness under the guise of “I’m just a nice innocent bloke don’t know why all these women think I’m available” was rather unpleasant.

Seeing him operate in a work context, he had a really ruthless streak and could just “turn on” the charm and chat and then treat people like they didn’t exist, and I think that was pretty much what he did with women