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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dilemma on this weird Tinder situation

482 replies

Tyrianstoe · 13/01/2018 17:34

Had to nickname change as I'm a regular and to be fair I'm embarrassed. Split up with my ex 2 weeks ago (his fault, broke my trust) and in a fit of anger and suspicion set up a Tinder account on Thursday night to see if he's on there as that's where we met. Anyway, was swiping through and I saw this lovely looking guy who had a very funny profile that mentioned a very obscure band that I love so swiped guiltily right. Don't know why I feel bad because my ex is a lying arsehole, but I'm aware it's too soon. This guy messaged me! So I said 'I like that band loads, nobody has heard of them' and we swapped messages. Then I thought I'm being a bit of a dick here so I deleted my Tinder but said if he wanted to message me off there he could and gave him my number. Thinking he wouldn't.

He found me on WhatsApp. He was telling me about his little boy who is going for an assessment for a disability, I write the assessments as a job so he was asking me what to expect. Then, this is where it gets weird...he asks me where I come from. Told him. He's from the same town. Not too weird. So asks where I live now, I live in another town not far away. He moved to my town 5 days ago. This morning he mentioned he lived opposite an emergency services station. So do I. He told me the name of his street. My house looks onto that street! I can see his house from mine.

So I do t know whether this is just too bizarre and I stop messaging him but...I don't want to! He seems sound. He doesn't use any words on my banned list, is retraining to do a job I'd love to do, likes the same music, doesn't put xxx on anything, doesn't use lol and doesn't call me Hun/babe Grin I'm mad aren't I? This has got big fat rebound all over it. But my interest is piqued. Slap me with a wet fish!

OP posts:
Mummalovex · 21/01/2018 16:53

@Tyrianstoe Hey you! Any more updates for us curious bunch? 😏😏😏

TheSassyAssassin · 21/01/2018 17:02

Am wondering if those good intentions went out the window...ooh...last night? Grin

Tyrianstoe · 21/01/2018 19:29

Sorry, manic weekend as I had lots of single person plans!

No updates. I have stuck to what I said. Lots of lovely messages from him though. Including asking if I wanted a late night drink with him last night Grin He's very generous with telling me what he thinks of me!

How's everyone's weekend been?

OP posts:
TheSassyAssassin · 21/01/2018 19:32

Oooh....do I need to order my hat? And stick a note in my diary? Grin Well that all sounds lovely. My weekend been v quiet. Need to get myself a Tinder Guy! Wink Glad all going so well.

Mummalovex · 21/01/2018 20:02

Ohhh and did you take him up on the offer of a drink? Sounds like a lovely man!

Weekend has been crazy for me, 2 little girls running and crawling about everywhere, can never seem to get anything done haha!
Really pleased it's going positively for you OP!Thanks

eddielizzard · 21/01/2018 20:06

sounds gorgeous and you're keeping your wits about you. marvellous!

gustofwind · 22/01/2018 16:11

I think this is my most favourite thread ever.

Pandoraphile · 22/01/2018 16:25

Is anyone else thinking "love bombing"?

mamahanji · 22/01/2018 17:56

What's love bombing?

MyOtherProfile · 22/01/2018 21:44

Yes

tillytown · 23/01/2018 06:48

mamahanji Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by demonstrations of attention and affection. It can be used in different ways and can be used for either a positive or negative purpose.

sportyfool · 23/01/2018 06:51

I may watch too much catfish but could it be your ex ? 😬

sportyfool · 23/01/2018 06:52

Hope it works out though .. only one way to find out !! 🤗🤗

DavidBowiesNumber1 · 23/01/2018 07:14

sportyfool

I may watch too much catfish but could it be your ex ? 😬

I think the OP would know by now, don't you? Oh that's right, you haven't RTWT!!!

TheSassyAssassin · 23/01/2018 08:05

Don't think love bombing. Just think first flush of romance of two normal sounding people who fancy the arse off each other. And are enjoying getting to know each other. Nowt wrong with that in my book! Tyrianstoe hope you're having fun Smile

Tyrianstoe · 23/01/2018 09:21

To be honest, I'm not letting myself be lovebombed. In fact, I'm kind of the opposite. I'm holding this at arms length because it's feeling very early and I came out of a physically abusive marriage a wreck. I'll never go down that road again. I have my guard up. I still have stuff with my recent ex to resolve and I've been very careful to analyse this in a very truthful way. It's a fun distraction. That's it.

OP posts:
TheSassyAssassin · 23/01/2018 09:32

Good for you lady. Nothing wrong with that. Plus for your self esteem and also to help you realise there are some decent people out there, it's all good. Enjoy it and am so glad it's putting a smile on your face right now. You deserve that Flowers

BitOutOfPractice · 23/01/2018 09:44

Oh OP this happened to me. I was messaging a bloke and had another look at his profile pics and thought "I recognise that block paving" and it turns out we live on the same street Grin

We had a very fun 2 or 3 months but he wasn't the one for me and we parted but remained friends.

I'm loving your thread. Good luck Thanks

sportyfool · 23/01/2018 13:52

@DavidBowiesNumber1

I don't think I'm alone in reading the op Ans replying to it .. I don't have time to read all of every single thread . My comment was hardly offensive ! It was meant to be a bit tongue in cheek 🙄

eddielizzard · 23/01/2018 22:00

you can highlight just the op's posts and that gives you a good idea of how the thread is progressing without reading every post.

strawberryblondebint · 24/01/2018 08:54

Op you rock. This is the nicest thread I have ever read. I'm a ginger though so biased x

MoNigheanDonn · 26/01/2018 18:18

Date night tonight OP?

outofmydepth45 · 26/01/2018 21:49

Just RTWT beautiful !

Gemini69 · 26/01/2018 22:01

wonderful thread Flowers

myrtlehuckingfuge · 26/01/2018 22:46

Whatever happens next- this reminds me of all the potential excitement in the first weeks. I am almost persuaded to fire up the OLD again now after a decade and a divorce. Thank you! Good luck OP.

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